Did you know that the average American woman spends about 10 years of her life on her period? (Or about 3,5000 days, according to Helping Women Period.) Of course, this varies for everyone, but the general idea is clear: That’s a lot of menstruating. Because periods are so prevalent in women’s lives, they tend to have a lot of secret things they do but never talk about. Unfortunately, periods are seen as something gross and shameful, which is absolutely ridiculous. It’s a normal and healthy function for a large portion of the population.
Secret Things Women Do During Their Periods
“We shouldn’t have to feel like we need to whisper about needing a tampon or hide a tampon up our sleeve. Periods aren’t anything out of the ordinary, and neither is talking about them,” wrote Chaunie Brusie, BSN, on Healthline. “Let’s do our part to change this cycle and ditch the stigma.” In the spirit of breaking the taboo, here are 50 secret things that many women do during their periods. Remember, everyone experiences periods differently so it’s unlikely you will relate to this entire list. However, you may be surprised how universal some of your “secret period things” really are!
Read: 35 Secret Things Most Women Have Done On Their Period But Don’t Talk About
Inspect blood clots on tampons and toilet paper after wiping
Inspecting blood clots on tampons and toilet paper after wiping is like embarking on a covert mission, complete with unexpected plot twists. Forget espionage; it’s all about unraveling the mystery of your menstrual flow.
Clean dried blood out of pubic hair
Cleaning dried blood out of pubic hair is the unsung heroics of maintaining a tidy battleground down there. Forget the bathroom, it’s more like a crime scene cleanup.
Layer toilet paper on their underwear as a makeshift pad after discovering a surprise flow
Layering toilet paper on your underwear as a makeshift pad is the MacGyver move for surprise flows. It’s the superhero cape of menstrual mishaps.
Check the back of their skirt or pants to ensure the blood isn’t leaking
Checking the back of your skirt or pants to ensure there’s no unexpected leak is the unscheduled intermission in the fashion show of life. Runway ready, always.
Read: ‘My boyfriend gets me pregnant every single year so I never have a period’
Realize the reason for an unexpected meltdown after finding menstrual blood
Realizing the reason for an unexpected meltdown after finding menstrual blood is the ‘aha’ moment of emotional rollercoasters. Period dramas, literally.
Dripping blood on the floor after a shower
Dripping blood on the floor after a shower is the unexpected contemporary dance routine no one asked for. Choreography by Mother Nature.
Pulled on underwear right after taking a shower without drying off properly to avoid dripping blood on the floor
Pulling on underwear right after a shower without drying off properly is the art of ninja-level agility. Avoiding a bloodstained bathroom floor: 1, Drying off: 0.
Feel a blood clot pass while on the toilet
Feeling a blood clot pass while on the toilet is like the surprise guest in the porcelain throne party. Who invited you?
Layer up pads to prevent leaking at night
Layering up pads to prevent leaking at night is the fortress strategy for nocturnal protection. Sleeping beauty, with extra layers.
Read: Why Do Some Women’s Underwear Have That Little ‘Pocket’ In The Middle?
Smuggling secret tampons or pads into their sleeves before going to a public bathroom
Smuggling secret tampons or pads into your sleeves before going to a public bathroom is the undercover mission of female espionage. Conceal, don’t feel.
Read: My 19-year-old daughter died from Toxic Shock Syndrome. Here’s my plea to lawmakers.
Crossing their legs while sitting to prevent the flow
Crossing your legs while sitting to prevent the flow is the elegant ballet move in the ballet of menstrual grace. Swan Lake, period edition.
Walking with their legs close together because it feels more secure for some reason
Walking with your legs close together because it feels more secure is the sidewalk catwalk of menstruating confidence. Strut, don’t leak.
Get out of bed and feel a surge of flow
Getting out of bed and feeling a surge of flow is the plot twist no one asked for in the morning routine saga. Rise and shine, and wipe.
Get constipated — or the opposite — almost every cycle
Getting constipated or the opposite almost every cycle is the body’s way of throwing curveballs. Poop or perish, the monthly dilemma.
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Try to figure out the difference between abdominal pains and menstrual cramps
Trying to figure out the difference between abdominal pains and menstrual cramps is the Sherlock Holmes moment of internal investigation. Elementary, my dear uterus.
Watch the blood wash down the shower drain. It’s so satisfying
Watching the blood wash down the shower drain is the strangely satisfying finale of the crimson waterfall. Nature’s art installation.
Cry for something almost inconsequential
Crying for something almost inconsequential is the emotional rollercoaster with a ticket to tear town. Drama Queens, monthly subscription.
Experience the extreme of many emotions in a short time span
Experiencing the extreme of many emotions in a short time span is the Oscar-winning performance of hormonal highs and lows. Cue the applause.
Dread the horrible effects of Day 2 and Day 3
Dreading the horrible effects of Day 2 and Day 3 is the horror movie sequel everyone wishes they could skip. The Return of the Flow.
Ask someone for a spare tampon or pad with the delicate hush of a drug deal
Asking someone for a spare tampon or pad with the delicate hush of a drug deal is the black-market exchange of feminine hygiene goods. Supply and demand.
Choose only dark colors to wear from the waist down
Choosing only dark colors to wear from the waist down is the fashion strategy for the ultimate camouflage. Operation: Conceal the Red.
Tie a sweater around the waist for protection
Tying a sweater around the waist for protection is the impromptu superhero cape for menstrual emergencies. Cape on, world off.
Check the chair after getting up to ensure there are no leaks
Checking the chair after getting up to ensure there are no leaks is the post-sit-down ritual of menstrual paranoia. Seat secured, mission accomplished.
Switch to clothes that are bloating-friendly
Switching to clothes that are bloating-friendly is the wardrobe shift for comfort over couture. Fashion’s flexible friend.
Thought the flow was over and removed the pad — and the blood goes all over the underwear
Thinking the flow was over and removing the pad, only to realize the blood goes all over the underwear, is the plot twist in the undressing saga. Undo, redo.
Clutch a hot water bottle like a shield against period cramps
Clutching a hot water bottle like a shield against period cramps is the battle stance in the war against uterine discomfort. Warrior pose, heating pad edition.
Have to take a detour to buy tampons or pads when a flow hits while they are out and about
Having to take a detour to buy tampons or pads when a flow hits while out and about is the unexpected pit stop in the journey of womanhood. Quick errand, major impact.
Stock up on painkillers, chocolate, and their favorite carb-heavy foods
Stocking up on painkillers, chocolate, and favorite carb-heavy foods is the survival kit for navigating the menstrual wilderness. The cravings crusade.
Read: Frozen Chocolate-Dipped Peanut Butter Banana Bites
Become experts on how to wash blood out of clothes
Becoming experts on how to wash blood out of clothes is the laundry prowess gained through monthly battles. Stains be gone, laundry wizardry.
Sit or lie in a weird position to ease the cramps. Sometimes that position is the fetal position while groaning like the murderous spirit in The Grudge
Sitting or lying in a weird position to ease the cramps, sometimes in the fetal position while groaning like the murderous spirit in The Grudge, is the yoga of menstrual relief. Flex and moan.
Feel a surge of blood while sneezing or coughing
Feeling a surge of blood while sneezing or coughing is the unexpected encore in the bodily symphony. Achoo, encore.
Use a bathroom that has no garbage can for some reason. What follows is a Mission Impossible level of secret sneaking to dispose of dirty tampons or pads
Using a bathroom that has no garbage can for some reason and then engaging in a Mission Impossible level of secret sneaking to dispose of dirty tampons or pads is the espionage mission of disposal. Stealth mode is activated.
Period appetites range from “not hungry” to “must eat everything”
Period appetites ranging from “not hungry” to “must eat everything” is the culinary adventure with a monthly twist. Feast or famine, the menstrual menu.
Wonder if the period started yet or if it’s just sweat or discharge
Wondering if the period started yet or if it’s just sweat or discharge is the monthly guessing game of bodily secretions. Sherlock Holmes, period detective.
Get abdominal cramps and lower back cramps at the same time. Two heating pads are required
Getting abdominal cramps and lower back cramps at the same time, requiring two heating pads is the synchronized swimming of pain relief. Double trouble, double pads.
The betrayal when the flow continues a day or two longer than usual
The betrayal when the flow continues a day or two longer than usual is the unexpected plot twist in the menstrual epic. Extended edition, against your will.
Try to start a diet or exercise routine, but the next day, a period puts a stop to that
Trying to start a diet or exercise routine, but the next day, a period puts a stop to that is the fitness interruption brought to you by Aunt Flow. New year, same cravings.
Read: This 57-Year-Old Follows A Strict Diet, Exercises 4 Days A Week, And It Obviously Pays Off
The jealousy after hearing how some women have easier periods
The jealousy after hearing how some women have easier periods is the green-eyed monster of menstrual envy. The grass is always redder.
The pity after hearing how some women have worse periods
The pity after hearing how some women have worse periods is the compassionate nod in the sisterhood of menstrual solidarity. Misery loves company.
The kinship after hearing how some women experience the same symptoms
The kinship after hearing how some women experience the same symptoms is the camaraderie in the menstruation nation. Sisters in flow.
Fear that they are putting in a new tampon without removing the old one
The fear that you are putting in a new tampon without removing the old one is the horror story in the tampon tales. Toxic shock trauma averted.
Have a bad day and the period is the secret clincher
Having a bad day, and the period is the secret clincher is the unexpected twist in the emotional rollercoaster. A bad day plus a period equals extra drama.
Flush the toilet again when there are still hints of blood in the bowl
Flushing the toilet again when there are still hints of blood in the bowl is the sanitary finale of the bathroom saga. Cleanliness is next to period-ness.
The pain of not inserting a tampon correctly
The pain of not inserting a tampon correctly is the crash course in tampon insertion woes. Ouch, the learning curve.
The uncertainty and discomfort of swimming during a cycle
The uncertainty and discomfort of swimming during a cycle is the aqua challenge with a menstrual twist. Dive in or bail out?
Wonder if menstrual blood would attract sharks while swimming at the beach
Wondering if menstrual blood would attract sharks while swimming at the beach is aquatic pondering with a touch of humor. Shark bait, period edition.
Fear staining the sheets while staying over at someone else’s house
Fearing staining the sheets while staying over at someone else’s house is the covert operation of nighttime protection. Undercover, under the sheets.
Become overwhelmed by too many options for pads and tampons while shopping
Becoming overwhelmed by too many options for pads and tampons while shopping is the aisle anxiety in the feminine hygiene section. Choices, choices, so many choices.
Worry about the bulge of a pad being visible through shorts or yoga pants
Worrying about the bulge of a pad being visible through shorts or yoga pants is fashion paranoia with a monthly focus. No pad lines, please.
Feel the freedom after the period ends, especially after a cleansing shower
Feeling the freedom after the period ends, especially after a cleansing shower, is the liberation proclamation in the menstruation celebration. Fresh start
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