Many of us have had at least a couple of wild nights out in our lifetime. Usually, those nights result in a hangover the next, but a dead turtle lodged in your private parts? It seems far-fetched, but believe me: It’s true.
Woman Has Dead Turtle Lodged In Her Vagina After Night Out
In 2018, a 26-year-old woman from Tenerife in the Canary Islands went out partying with friends. In the days that followed, she began to feel quite sick and developed intense pain in her lower abdomen. The pain was so severe that she could hardly move, so she went to the emergency room. (1)
Upon arrival, the doctors began completing all the standard tests to see if they could discover the source of her pain. That’s when they found something that I’m sure none of them will ever forget: A dead turtle lodged in her vagina. (1)
The dead Chinese three-keeled pond turtle caused a serious infection in her vagina, which is why she was sick and in pain. (1)
How The Turtle Got There
The woman claimed she did not remember the events that may have led to the insertion of the turtle into her vagina. For this reason, the doctors thought that it might be a case of sexual assault. The woman, however, did not want to give a statement to the police, so they could not investigate any further into the situation. (1)
Leave Your Vagina Alone
The dead turtle was clearly an isolated incident. The reasons why or how it happened are unclear, though it doesn’t seem like something this woman wanted to do. A quick peeks online, and you will find any number of stories revolving around odd things being placed in vaginas. One category, in particular, would be vaginal health and rejuvenation items. (2) These products, which you are usually encouraged to insert into your vagina, are supposedly for (2):
- “Tightening” and “toning” the vagina
- “Detoxifying” the vagina
- Making the vagina smell better
On her blog, gynecologist Dr. Jen Gunter makes a point of talking about many of these “home remedies” and dispelling any myths surrounding what they do to your vagina. (2)
Ground Up Wasp Nests
In 2017 there was a claim floating around the internet that if you put oak galls up your vagina, it would make your vagina tighter. These are balls of bark and wasp excrement that were once nests in which larvae grew. (2)
Available on Etsy, the sellers of these balls claimed that putting them up your vagina would re-tighten everything back up down there. Dr. Gunter shut that claim down immediately, saying that what these really do is dry up the vaginal mucosa, which is incredibly dangerous for women. (2)
“Drying the vaginal mucosa increases the risk of abrasions during sex (not good) and destroys the protective mucous layer (not good). It could also wreak havoc with the good bacteria. In addition to causing pain during sex it can increase the risk of HIV transmission.” she wrote. (2)
Herb Bags
Another myth she debunked back in 2016 were little vaginal “herb” bags. The sellers claimed the bags tighten the vagina, as well as “detoxify” and keep you smelling fresh and clean. (3)
She reminds us that all of our organs, including the vagina, have the capacity to “detoxify” themselves and don’t need any external help. (3)
“There is no such thing as a detox or a cleanse, they are fake terms used by snake oil salespeople to lighten wallets.” (3)
She not only describes the vagina as a “self-cleaning oven”, but she also warns that the so-called “herbs” inside those little bags can do some serious harm to your health. (3)
“These herbs (or whatever, because you really just don’t know – hey it could just be dirt from someone backyard) could be damaging to your lactobacilli (the good bacteria) or be directly irritating to the vagina mucosa (the lining) and both of these outcomes will increase your risk of infection.” she explained. (3)
The instructions for use claimed that you should leave the product in for three days, which is highly dangerous and could lead to toxic shock syndrome. (3)
Why don’t we all just follow Dr. Gunter’s advice and leave our vaginas alone. Like she said, they don’t need any help from tree bark or plants – or a dead turtle – to keep themselves in the proper condition.
Keep Reading: Bride Reads Cheating Fiancé’s Text Messages Instead of Vows at Their Wedding
References
- “Sex assault eyed after turtle is discovered in woman’s vagina.” NY Post. Melkorka Licea. September 22, 2018.
- “Don’t put ground up wasp nest in your vagina.” Dr. Jen Gunter. Dr. Jen Gunter. May 16, 2017.
- “Don’t “detox” your vagina or uterus with a bag of herbs in your vagina. Really.” Dr. Jen Gunter. Dr. Jen Gunter. January 12, 2016.
