Woman Leaves Her Husband Because of What He Wanted to Do on Their Wedding Night

Although weddings are often a time of bliss, there can be some unexpected moments. As in life, these moments can cause a person to second guess the choices they’ve made in life. For example, an anonymous woman recently shared how her wedding night took a bizarre turn. As a result, she found herself reconsidering her marriage.

In a recent story from Brightside, which was featured in their Relationships category, a woman shared her heartfelt story. It came from a reader who anonymously shared that her wedding night had been the opposite of what she hoped it would be.

Wedding Night Disaster

“Lana” shared that she and her new husband went up to their hotel room on their wedding night. But then he realized he’d forgotten something down in the reception hall. He left to go retrieve the missing item. And over half an hour later, still hadn’t returned. The worried bride left her hotel room in hopes of finding her groom. She eventually did, down in the reception hall chatting with his best friend. The bride, now hurt that her wedding night had been interrupted, has started to rethink whether or not she made a mistake.

She offers some backstory regarding the relationship that her husband has with his best friend “Dylan”. The two have been friends for more than two decades but live in different countries. Consequently, they haven’t seen each other in years and don’t know when they’ll see each other again. Paired with the fact that the couple spends every night together, he explained to her, were the reasons for the disruption to the wedding night. In contrast, she felt that he had “prioritized his friend” over sharing their wedding night together and became upset.

Avoiding a Similar Outcome

Regardless of whether he or she is being unreasonable in this situation, it could have been avoided with some communication, compassion, and compromise. First, the groom could have communicated his feelings about seeing his best friend well in advance because he likely knew that his best friend would be in town one night, weeks beforehand. Additionally, he should have made an effort to include his wife in his plans, even if that meant just going back to the room to let her know.

Second, both parties should understand each other’s feelings. After all, moments with the people we love most aren’t always an option. Therefore, we have to savor the time with them while we can and, according to Brightside, “Recognize that his intentions were likely not to cause harm, but to seize a fleeting opportunity to spend time with someone dear to him.”

Last, both parties should work together to find a solution. Some suggestions for this kind of situation include designating an alternative night to celebrate the wedding night. Another might be for the bride to have joined her new husband and his best friend if she hadn’t felt so hurt by his disappearance, or they could have agreed to split the night with the newlyweds able to spend at least part of the wedding night together.

On the other hand, one of the major red flags in this situation is that both people are seemingly disrespecting each other’s boundaries or haven’t openly communicated them thus far. Either way, treating each other with compassion can’t happen without first establishing boundaries with each other.

Bringing Happiness for Years Beyond the Wedding Night

Some people struggle to set boundaries, allowing others to walk all over them. Meanwhile, some knowingly walk all over the people they claim to care for. As a result, it becomes a coping technique to avoid setting boundaries in the first place. However, this isn’t healthy for anyone and will likely play a major role in the downfall of a relationship. Fortunately, there are some easy ways to tackle tough conversations.

Treat Others with Respect

First and foremost, be honest about your needs and expectations from a partner. Likewise, be open to hearing the needs of your significant other. Take some time apart because it’s equally as important as spending time together, and create an environment where it’s safe to communicate the need for time apart. When setting boundaries, they should align with your own core values, such as expecting honesty or fidelity and giving those in return. Boundaries should also be both firm and flexible. This means understanding that some things in life are circumstantial so things may have to shift a little occasionally. For example, boundaries may be flexible when someone does something unintentionally rather than with malice.

Lastly, boundaries and ultimatums aren’t the same thing, and an ultimatum should only be set in place when a boundary has been intentionally overstepped.

Remember, if you’re in a relationship in which your needs or boundaries are constantly being disregarded, it may be time to consider couples counseling or walking away altogether. It’s possible to have magic in your relationship that extends years beyond the wedding night. However, it takes hard work and determination. It takes offering support in tough times, and loving and appreciating each other, strengths and weaknesses. You need to meet each other with compassion, as well as a willingness to be receptive to hearing the other person’s needs.

Read More: Husband-to-Be Wants Everyone at Their Wedding Ceremony to Know His Fiancée Is Not ‘Pure’