Giving birth is a difficult, painful, and scary experience. When a woman is going through it, she wants to have certain people by her side. One of those people is often their partner, the person they are going to raise the child with. That’s exactly what this woman wanted, except while she was giving birth, her husband was off cheating with his best friend. (1) Furious, she won’t let the dad meet their baby. She posted on the popular Reddit thread Am I the Asshole to ask the internet if she was out of line. (1)
Mom At First Won’t Let Dad Meet Baby After He Misses The Birth
The original poster (OP) starts off her story by explaining that her husband’s best friend is a woman. They dated a long time ago but agreed mutually that they were better off as friends. Since then, they have remained close friends. Until now, OP had zero problems with their relationship. She was confident in her husband’s love for her and is not the jealous type. (1)
One night late into OP’s pregnancy, her husband got a call from his best friend in the middle of the night. Apparently, her brother had been in a car accident, and it was serious. He was in a hospital an hour away from them and asked if he could drive her there. (1)
“My husband agreed, told me quickly while I was half-asleep, and rushed out.” she wrote.
Wife Goes Into Labor
A few hours later, OPs contractions started, and she realized that she was in labor. She called her husband frantically, but he was not answering his phone. After a few tries, she gave up and called her dad. (1)
“I was so scared of giving birth alone since I’ve had about three miscarriages and one stillborn,” she wrote. “My husband promised me that no matter what, he’d be there for me. Guess what? He wasn’t.” (1)
They continued to try calling her husband, but with no success. Finally, while she was delivering the baby, he answered the phone. He explained to OPs father that he had misplaced his phone in all the chaos. Her dad told him that it didn’t matter how fast he drove; he would miss the birth of his first child. (1)
“my husband took that as ‘he’s already screwed up, so it doesn’t matter when he shows up at this point’ so when he FINALLY came, our daughter was about five hours old and I’d already moved to the maternity ward,” (1)
He Finally Arrives And She Won’t Let Dad Meet Baby
Naturally, OP was livid. So angry that she didn’t feel her husband deserved the right to meet their newborn baby. (1)
“I was so high on emotions and was shaking when I saw him and didn’t want it negatively affect my time with the baby,” she explained. “I wanted her birth to be a happy time and I was already struggling to feed her.” (1)
Highly distressed, her husband begged her to let him see his new baby girl. She gave in and held her up to the window. OP then told her husband to leave and that he can meet their daughter later on at her father’s house when she and the baby have both rested and are doing well. (1)
Read: Father resents his 1-year-old baby because his wife died giving birth to him
Begging for Forgiveness
That’s when her husband began to weep. He said over and over how sorry he was, trying to explain that his best friend’s brother was in critical condition (though recovering now) and that she needed him. (1)
“Though [best friend’s] parents were there, she’s not that close with them and she was in an unbearable state,” she wrote. (1)
“I’m putting my daughter’s and my health first and won’t let her be sidelined,” she then told him. “My husband agreed and left” (1)
The husband’s best friend, however, then came in and dug this man’s grave even further. She called OP to tell the brand new mom, who had just given birth alone on her accord, that she was being “controlling and cruel”. She told her that her husband made a decision and that it was not her fault. (1)
“But now, I can’t help feel cruel in my actions and feel like I’m depriving my baby of both her parents being together. My husband sees her a few hours each day now. Am I The A–hole?” she asked on Reddit. (1)
Reddit Users Say This Is A Major Red Flag
Everyone on Reddit was on her side, explaining to her that there was definitely something shady going on here. (1)
“Let’s ignore the fact that he ran to her rescue in the middle of the night while you were that far along in your pregnancy,” one commenter pointed out. “Any decent husband would make sure to have his phone on him 24/7 when not at home with a wife about to give birth. As soon as he found out you were in labor, he should have rushed to be with you.” (1)
Another mentioned that it was also terrible that he called the best friend to complain about his wife’s decision when he (and her, too) were in the wrong. (1)
Updated Information
The OP then came on again to explain a further development. You see. Eventually, she called her husband’s best friend’s brother to find out how he was doing. He had, after all, been in a critical condition not that long ago. (1)
The brother then said something that made her speechless.
“He asked about me and the baby and how I was doing with the split and if I was okay with my husband and … [Best Friend].” she wrote. (1)
According to the brother, her husband’s best friend’s family thought that she and her husband had split up when she was seven months pregnant, and that he and the best friend were back together. (1)
“He showed up at the hospital as [Best Friend’s] boyfriend which is why they didn’t bat an eye that he was there and not with his pregnant wife. Because apparently we split,” (1)
To top it off, the procedures that the brother needed to have done were completed by the early afternoon. So when the best friend called him in the middle of the night, there was no “emergency” at all. (1)
She is still waiting for answers about what the pair were actually doing while she was going into labor. Until then, she is getting a divorce lawyer to actually terminate their marriage for good. (1)
Did Dad Meet Baby? Not Forever Barred
The OP updated the post to clarify that she was not preventing her ex-husband from ever seeing their child; she just made him wait until they were out of the hospital the next day, dad would meet baby eventually. However, in hindsight, she thinks she was wrong, regardless of the situation, to weaponize their child against him because she was mad. (1)
What do you think? Would you have responded in the same way as OP, especially knowing now that he’d been cheating on her for months?
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