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Jade Small
Jade Small
December 8, 2023 ·  3 min read

Husband Emails Wife a List Detailing Every Time She Refused Him Sex

As most of us are aware, marriage isn’t always a walk in the park. Work is required on both sides of the fence. A healthy relationship requires constant attention and maintenance, much like a garden, especially once you have passed the honeymoon phase. During a relationship, you may be confronted by certain signs that indicate problems in certain areas, such as a diminishing level of intimacy or lack of romantic rapport. For instance, have you ever checked your inbox, only to find an email from your partner listing the times you turned down sex? The husband-emails-wife saga that follows will open your eyes to certain norms we may overlook in our relationships. 

Disgruntled Husband Emails Wife

This particular wife used Reddit to publish the spreadsheet sent by her husband, with details of dates, excuses she used, and corresponding acts of intimacy refused – including whether or not the couple actually had sex.[1]

Yesterday morning, while in a taxi on the way to the airport, Husband sends a message to my work email… I open it up, and it’s a sarcastic diatribe basically saying he won’t miss me for the 10 days I’m gone. Attached is a SPREADSHEET of all the times he has tried to initiate sex since June 1st, with a column for my “excuses”, using verbatim quotes of why I didn’t feel like having sex at that very moment. According to his ‘document’, we’ve only had sex 3 times in the last 7 weeks, out of 27 “attempts” on his part.’

Accompanying caption written by the woman on her Reddit post
husband emails wife
The spreadsheet the husband had sent his wife

The Wife’s Revenge

Of course, there was revenge! The wife flips the script on her unsuspecting husband, revealing the truth behind the couple’s bedroom hiatus, citing his low hygiene standards, flatulence, and snoring, which is expressed as a complete turn-off! 

“Got into bed after a good workout and was totally in the mood. But he farted and Dutch-ovened me. I told him it was gross,” the post recounted.

The original source was published on Reddit by the user, ‘throwwwwaway29’ outlines the husband’s sex-drought in his supposed reports that his wife regularly avoided intimacy with a variety of excuses like “I’m not feeling good I ate too much,” and “I’m watching the show” regardless of being past episodes of ‘Friends’.[2]

husband emails wife

What The Numbers Show

As with anything we share in our relationships, intimacy should always be initiated rather than just expected. So we can’t show much sympathy for the guy, but he certainly made himself heard. We surely hope he shows this level of fervor in other areas.

According to a 2017 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behaviors, the average couple has sex around 54 times a year, which equates to about once a week [3]. Though this is an average, some couples may enjoy engaging in sex more or less frequently. Ultimately, it’s up to the couple to engage in what they consider enough. Unfortunately, each partner’s idea of what “enough” is can vary.

As the desire for sex is psychologically rooted, the result is that no amount will ever prove satisfactory—a simple case of ideals versus reality. We should always try to use intimacy to unify and connect with our partners, rather than seeing an intimate encounter as a unit of pleasure for self-gratification.

Keep Reading: Parents of daughters are more likely to divorce than those with sons


  1. Man Sends Wife Spreadsheet Of All Her Excuses Not To Have Sex.” Huffington Post.  Cavan Sieczkowski. July 21, 2014.
  2. UPDATE: Woman Gets Revenge On Husband Who Detailed Her Sex Excuses On HUGE Spreadsheet.” Heart.
  3. Declines in Sexual Frequency among American Adults, 1989–2014.” Springer. Jean M. Twenge, et al. March 6, 2014.