young boy holding a spoon and fork sitting at a table
Mayukh Saha
Mayukh Saha
December 11, 2023 ·  5 min read

Woman Asks If She Was Wrong For Refusing To Share Food With Housemate’s 6-Year-Old

Neighbors, housemates, or roommates can be the nicest people we have ever met. But, sometimes, they can be the worst. What makes the situation worse, in these cases, is that we cannot just get away from them. It takes a lot of time and effort to relocate, and doing so because of one nasty housemate is an awful waste.

Be that as it may, one woman seems to be having some problems with her neighbor. Particularly, her neighbor’s 6-year-old son. So she came to the AITA (am I the a**hole?) subreddit to see if there was any other way she could have handled the situation.

The OP (original poster) had two neighbors – one of them was a 29-year-old man named Cody. He recently received full custody of his 6-year-old son named Dean. Even though Dean was polite, he was still a kid. As such, OP soon ran into problems because Dean was not taught about healthy boundaries by his parent.

The Housemates Were All Good, At First.

The OP begins by explaining her housing situation:

I have rented a suite in a converted plantation-like house for three years.

The house is set up with three apartments (bedroom + bathroom + small living room). Downstairs is a kitchen (with three lockable fridges + locking cabinets labeled with apartment numbers). We share a dining room, guest bathroom, and kitchen.


She then talked about Dean and his son Cody. Her first impression of the kid was that he was “polite and well-behaved”. But she could always hear him and suspected that he was a very active child. Now, the problem began when OP would come to cook in the kitchen. This is a shared space, and Dean would always be there:

housemate's child did not get enough attention
Credits: Pixabay

However, every time I come down to make food, Dean will come into the kitchen and watch me cook. He asks me if he can have some of the food. When I tell him no, he will say, ‘But I am hungry.’

I have told him that he needs to talk to his dad. Dean will go into his apartment and Cody will come out, annoyed, to make him something. Cody has asked me a few times, “Can you just make him a pancake?


However, OP explains, that she plans out her groceries and they cost quite a bit. Plus, she really did not like the idea of feeding someone else’s child. So she clearly told Cody that she could not keep that request.

Read: My ex fed vegan daughter McNuggets behind my back – now she keeps demanding meat

But The Situation Got Worse

OP’s post goes on to say that Dean would also, at times, knock on her door because he wanted company:

There have been a few times where Dean will knock on my door saying he is bored. I tell him he needs to find his dad and not knock because I am working.

I have told him, “Knock only if there is someone hurt or danger. If you are hurt, knock. But as nice as you are, I am not your mom so please find your Dad.

One day, this habit took a turn for the worse for the housemates. Her boyfriend had come over to visit her during February. He had brought snacks and pizza to celebrate Valentines’. When Dean saw the snacks, he asked OP if he could watch a movie with them. However, OP, politely refused the chilsd this time too, because this was their personal time.

Credits: Pixabay

Hearing the refusal, Dean returned to his apartment but he was almost in tears. Then what unfolded afterward was quite unpleasant for OP:

I got a call from the landlord asking for my side of the story and I explained what had happened. Cody has not spoken to me since that call, other than calling me a snitch. Dean gets picked up in the morning now by his aunt and spends the day with her instead of around the house.


Read: Mom’s valuable lesson in give-and-take is a masterclass on why favors should work both ways

Did She Do Anything Wrong?

Consequently, OP believes that it might have been wrong of her as a housemate because Dean is only 6. So, it’s natural for him to think of every adult as a friend.

However, the internet thinks otherwise. Of course, rather than calling the child or OP the a-hole, most NTA (not the a**hole) comments were appalled by the father’s attitude. Some even wondered how he was allowed full custody of a child in the first place:

How the hell does this dude ( can’t call him Dad since that title is earned) get full custody? Take care of your kid!!! Neglect is abuse. Feeding your child is fucking basic. Pancake mix is $3. A frozen pizza is like $4. My god. Sorry, I’m so pissed off. My dad was abused as a kid and I can’t even hear about a child feeling unloved or unsupported. Dean didn’t ask to be born. His guardian needs to step up… glad the aunt is there for Dean.

dollywooddude – reddit

Some others pointed out that it could have been dangerous for Dean:

Plus you dont know if dean has any food allergies, heck he might try something new you give him and have an allergic reaction. Its not your child and hes not your responsibility. Though why did cody call the landlord…to tattle that you wont play surrogate mom to his child?”

Flippn_Freddy – reddit

So what do you think of the situation? We think it definitely was negligence on the part of the father. OP also clarified in a later post that she and Dean were on very friendly terms. But unless it’s an emergency, is it right for a parent to have their child be taken care of by a stranger even if it is a housemate? Let us know in the comments!

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Attention: While many of these stories are interesting, and we would love to take their word for it, the content in this article was taken from an unverifiable source (i.e., a Reddit forum). As such, we cannot guarantee that these events truly happened in the way that they are described in the original source.