‘She stared at it and then threw it in the bin – so I taught her a lesson’

Haley Hassell is a blogger on Facebook who boasts of two occupations. She’s a registered nurse and “Mommy to Presleigh.” And she doesn’t shy away from the relatable difficulties of the latter job. One of her posts went viral when she shared an important parenting lesson. “WARNING LONG MOM RANT POST!!!” she warned her viewers before she dived into the story of what happened when her daughter threw a brand new pencil case into the trash.

Mom Turns a Tantrum into a Parenting Lesson

“Mrs. Presleigh learned a tough-love lesson today,” Hassell began her post. She explained she went to three different stores to buy her daughter a LOL pencil case.

However, when she presented it to Presleigh (“just knowing she would be ecstatic”), her daughter threw it into the trash can and slammed her bedroom door. Then she screamed, “That’s stupid, everyone in my class has that… I don’t want it anymore!” 

“WHHHHAT STOP COME AGAIN?” The mom wrote in her post. “OK, So by this time there was probably smoke coming out of my ears and I’m trying real hard not to completely lose it on this kid that I have worked so hard to completely take care of financially on my own & make sure she always gets what she needs and then some.”

Hassell admitted that she thought she had taught her daughter gratitude but “apparently sis needed a small wake up call!!” 

“SO before completely going Madea mad on my child, I check myself and say, “okay that’s fine, let me go get the one you’re going to use.” Hassell returned with a plastic bag to be Presleigh’s new pencil case. Presleight wasn’t a fan. 

A Lesson in Gratitude

“She lost her mind!” the post continued. “Suddenly the LOL Box she just trashed was good enough and the Ziploc bag was horrible… but it’s too late for all that.” Hassell told her to take the LOL case out of the garbage because they were going to give it to a child who can’t afford school supplies “or someone who may not even have a mommy or daddy.”

“I explained to her she’s not entitled to anything special and she is taking for granted how lucky she is,” Hassell concluded. “So for now she will be using a Ziploc bag & will personally be delivering the nice box to a child that could benefit from it. 

“Maybe I overreact sometimes but I would’ve done anything to have all the things she does as a child. I truly believe changing your perception & just being grateful can turn around any situation in life.” [1]

The Response to the Parenting Lesson

Most of the reactions to the post were positive with people praising Hassell’s parenting lesson.

“You did the right thing,” said one comment, “when children get everything they want it doesn’t teach them much.”

“Pat yourself on the back, mama,” said another. “She’ll turn out better in the future, mark my words.“

However, not everyone was a fan of the post. Some people criticized the mom for taking a photo of her daughter in the midst of a meltdown. “I would venture to say it’s not over her making her use a Ziploc. But moreover, her blasting her child on Facebook, posting a picture of her upset and crying, embarrassing her. That situation should have been handled in private.”

There were some people accusing the mother of buying a pencil case she wanted, not one her daughter wanted. However, although it’s not explicitly stated, it’s heavily implied in the post that Presleigh had previously asked for LOL Box, which is why Hassell was so astonished at her reaction.

How to Handle Tantrums

Most advice on how to deal with children’s tantrums and meltdowns agrees that the parent should not give in. It’s a common parenting lesson because giving in to tantrums teaches the child that acting out will get what they want. Also, making threats and not following through is also unhelpful. It’s too easy for the child to see through the warning. [2]

Haley Hassell seems to follow both of these rules in this anecdote. Additionally, she took the scene as an opportunity to teach her daughter about being grateful for what she has.

Moreover, there’s one more important tip to consider: Never take tantrums personally. Often parents can’t help feeling guilty, frustrated, or angry at their child’s actions. But remember that these actions are a show of the child’s feelings; they are not directed at the parents, even when it feels that way. [3]

Therefore, it’s helpful if a parent could look past their initial hurt and consider what the child could be feeling. Sometimes a tantrum could be a response to a situation the parents aren’t even privy to. Often the case when the child is acting out of character, they may be having issues with school or friends. 

Taking a leaf out of Haley Hassell’s parenting lesson, a tantrum could be an opening for growth. And sometimes parents are the ones learning.

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