woman angry at man
Sarah Biren
Sarah Biren
February 6, 2024 ·  4 min read

Man Gets Ultimatum From Vegan Girlfriend, Who Says It’s Her Or The Cat

A man and his vegan girlfriend have dated for seven months. However, the only hitch in their relationship was his “sweet and cuddly catof three years, Mittens. “…My GF was always a little apprehensive around her, and she blamed it on not growing up around cats.” As a result, they mostly spent time at her apartment instead of his.

But as the pandemic continued, this situation couldn’t last. “We began seriously looking at either buying a new apartment together or having one of us move in with the other.” Then came the incredible ultimatum. It’s either her or the cat.

My (22M) vegan girlfriend (21F) wants me to get rid of my cat

At the start of the post, the OP describes his girlfriend as ”amazing” and adds “we’re super compatible in a lot of ways.” Aside from that, he writes, she is an “outspoken vegan” who stated at the beginning of their relationship that it’s important to her that anyone she dates should hold to the same values. He was already a pescatarian and willing to go vegan for her. But the good times ended when they began planning to move in together.

She said that with this next phase of the relationship, she did not see a future with me unless I was willing to give away Mittens. She said that she believed owning a cat is unconscionable for vegans, because they hunt mice and eat meat, and because the very act of owning a pet is a violation of vegan principles.”

The OP refused to give up his cat. But his girlfriend wouldn’t hear it and said, “How much flesh does your cat eat? How many animals died to make all that food? Would you be okay with that being human flesh?” Angry, OP expressed he wished she would have said these opinions before they got further in the relationship. But she continued ranting about how cats kill other animals and the OP left the conversation. “And I snuggled with Mittens when I got home!”

Oh, and she sent him a link to “a Reddit thread advocating for the extinction of domestic cats.” 

The OP stated there was no way he was getting rid of Mitten. However, he lamented “an otherwise wonderful relationship could be ending because of a difference in ideology.” Despite advice from vegan and vegetarian friends to break up with the girlfriend, the OP expressed that he still wanted to work things out. [1]

Veganism or Control?

However, the comments on Reddit agreed with his friends. They pointed out the flaws in the girlfriend’s thinking. It seemed like the ultimatum was not really about the cat. It was more about her power in their relationship.

“She suggested to give it away?” said the top comment. “It makes no sense whatsoever… Will it consume less meat with another owner? Of course not. It’s like boasting about your lack of garbage because you dump it all in your neighbor’s yard.”

This is what I was thinking,” said another respondent. “It’s not about veganism, it’s about control.”

It’s common for controlling partners to overstep healthy boundaries and pressure their victims to agree to their way. They also try to change their partners to suit their own interests. [2] However, it’s hard to verify the truth of the details from a Reddit post. But it’s possible that this girlfriend is exhibiting controlling behavior behind the guise of being a vegan. A very good reason to end this relationship.

Many commenters got this idea as well. “Your girlfriend is trying to manipulate you by lying about what veganism is. If she waters truly conceded about animal cruelty she wouldn’t advocate to make your cat homeless or put him down! She just doesn’t like cats so she’s trying to pretend it’s a vegan stance so that you think there’s something moral to it. She thinks it makes her stance stronger.”

Many added another reason to dump her: For Mitten’s protection. If the girlfriend won’t have her way this time, she may do something drastic later on. “I have concerns that if OP doesn’t leave their girlfriend that Mittens will mysteriously disappear or have an accident. The girlfriend seems that manipulative and crazy. OP, protect your cat. There are plenty of women out there, but there is only one Mittens.”

Cats Cannot Be Vegan

The OP adds in his post about his vegan girlfriend that he has done research on vegan cat food. However, he won’t buy them because Mitten has some digestive troubles and his vet opposes them. Therefore, this OP has the right idea. According to the ASPCA Animal Poison Control Center (APCC), a vegan diet is not good for cats at all. 

Cats are obligate carnivores, which means they need meat to survive. The longer answer is that cats need the amino acid called taurine and high amounts of protein, both present in a carnivorous diet. Meanwhile, cats aren’t good at digesting carbohydrates — common in the vegan diet — which doesn’t provide much energy for them. [3]

Some vegans who own cats look for animal food brands with welfare certification labels. This indicates more caring and humane farming processes. And unlike the girlfriend in the story, most vegans don’t believe in “the extinction of domestic cats.” 


  1. “My (22M) vegan girlfriend (21F) wants me to get rid of my cat.Reddit. 2020
  2. 12 Signs of a Controlling Personality.” Healthline. Cindy Lamothe. November 21, 2019
  3. “Why Can’t My Cat Be Vegan?” ASPCA. May 2, 2018