The day of your baby’s birth can be one of the most magical moments of a young mother’s life, and having a loving and supportive partner is always a plus. Sadly this is not the case for some; in fact, a young mother apparently filed for divorce from her husband for ‘shushing’ during their child’s birth.
Pregnancy is not for the faint of heart, and childbirth is even worse, but the reward of holding your baby is worth it all, and having your partner with you all the way makes it all the better.
Shushing young mom ended this marriage
So when a young woman went into labor with her first child, she was horrified to see that her husband was not only ‘not present,’ but he actually shushed her, like a librarian reprimanding a noisy student. Needless to say, this did not sit well with the young mother, and she decided then and there that she would file for divorce.
The young mother, whose name was not disclosed, shared her story on a Facebook group, responding to a post made by a man who realized he no longer loved his wife; this leads her to share her own experience with how she knew that she’d fallen out of love.
She realized on that day that she did not deserve this; shushing anyone during labor is not okay. She wanted better for herself and her new baby. She added that she thought that maybe her child would be better off in a single-parent household filled with love than a two-parent home where no one is happy. It may have taken a year to finally call off the marriage, but she admits that moment was the last straw and helped her make her decision.
How you can make your partner feel supported during labor
A show of solidarity and support can go a long way in a relationship, especially when one of you is literally creating life. Shushing someone in labor is not a good idea, ever! Try to be understanding and listen to the needs of your partner. An online mommy blog, Motherly, has the following suggestions on being a supportive partner during this magical and manic moment of a young mother’s life. Here are a few things you can do;
Ask and Listen
Before the due date, make sure to ask her preferences and to find out what her ideal birthing scenario looks like, who is in the room with you, and what to bring. Be sure to be respectful of her wishes even if you disagree.
Your partner will be in a great deal of pain throughout the pregnancy and won’t be able to do anything about it, no pain pills, no glass of white wine, no secret cigarette, and nothing. It is your job to ease the pain in any and every way you can. This includes back and foot rubs, special treats, and cleaning because chances are, she does most of the cleaning.
Holding hands during childbirth is an amazing bonding time between partner and mother; offer her your hand to squeeze or claw if she needs to, any small amount of pain you feel in your hand is nothing compared to her agony.
Capture the moment
The day of your child’s birth will be something you and your partner might want to look back on in the future and maybe even show the child later in life. As the star of the show, your partner will be entirely too busy to document anything. If you decide that this might be something you would like to do, it is your job to make notes, take pictures that your partner needs to sign off on, and then compile the footage into a video montage.
The above are not the only ways to show support; the key is to listen, ask questions, have a plan, be direct and open, and honest, and above all, love.
And just as a final suggestion, don’t start shushing your partner during childbirth!
- “‘When my husband told me to shush during labour I knew our marriage was over’.” Mirror. Courtney Pochin. October 28, 2020.
- “What partners can do: 10 ways to support your partner during labor.” Motherly. Colleen Temple.