Guy Asks If He’s Wrong To Freak Out On Friend For Comparing His Dead Son To Her Dead Dog

If you have ever lost a pet, you know how brutally painful it can be. Some people say it is the most heartbreaking experience one can go through. However, other people might not feel that way. For example, this person’s friend lost their dog and shared their story to Reddit. The friend said something that caused the OP (original poster) to freak out. It may have ended their friendship too.

Advertisement

In the Reddit forum AITA (am I the A-hole) people tend to share stories and ask the public if they were right, or wrong. If the community agrees with what you did, they will judge “NTA,” or not the A-hole. If they disagree, you will be deemed “YTA,” you’re the A-hole. Sometimes “NAH” appears where someone says no A-holes here, and neither party is seen as wrong. Essentially, it’s where people go to find out if they overreacted. Typically these stories involve some kind of emotional aspect, like with today’s story.

Advertisement

According to Redditor u/Infamous_Ambassador, his friend had a dog for 16 years. Sadly, the dog passed away, and the friend was horribly distraught. Which makes sense. Your dog is your best friend, they are family, and they love you unconditionally. So what made OP freak out?

Advertisement
dog being fed by hand
Image by Lenka Novotná from Pixabay

Would you Freak Out if Someone Said this to You?

After the friend had been lying in bed for a few days, unable to move or eat anything, they asked for OP. Apparently, they wanted to have a talk, hoping to find some solace. What they ended up with, was an emotional freak out. But, was it deserved?

Advertisement

She said, “Now I know what it felt like for you. Losing a kid is so, so hard.” I’m 26M, my girlfriend got pregnant at fourteen and I was a father at fifteen. He was the best little boy ever and I was in love with him. I had a job and her parents kicked her out so she moved in with mine and by the time I was 19, I was happy and me and her moved into an apartment together.

But when the next year, when he was five years old, he got hit by a truck and passed away. It’s been six years and I still think of him every day. I told her, maybe a little insensitively, “You didn’t lose a kid.” She looked taken aback and said she did and something about how “fur babies” were kids too. So, I said losing a kid is nothing like losing a dog and she started getting angry and told me she raised her dog for way longer than my son.

I got mad, and yelled at her to never talk about my son again and then I stormed out. Her best friend sent me a long message about how she understands I’m grieving about my kid but her grief is fresh and I’ve had six years to deal with it.

Reddit

Many people sided with OP, saying that the friend had no right to bring up his child. Others felt that the friend was dealing with a very fresh death and the grief was still new. They may have had a freak out, but to some people, it was justified.

Advertisement

Everyone saying you’re TA doesnt realize that you willingly take on the death of a pet when you adopt them. It hurts and we all hate losing them, but that’s just life. Losing your child is 100% different because you plan for them to bury you, not the other way around. Your friend may be grieving but she had no right to bring up your child like that. Even people who have had miscarriages 20+ years ago can still hardly talk about it because it’s so painful. NTA

Initial_Elderberry

NTA, while I love dogs and think of them very highly, this dog had a long and full life. Comparing it to the death of your six year old human child is wildly inappropriate. I don’t know how else she expected you to react. Obviously it would have been better if you said nothing, but I don’t think she should be going around making this comparison to anyone else. It’s lucky you are a friend because another person may have punched her.

smolboi1995
Read: Dad shamed for excluding bully from child’s party after inviting rest of class

NTA. And her words are one of the things I hate most about people who haven’t lost a child. There is no “it’s already been six years”. You didn’t just lose your five-year-old son, you lost who he could have been and who he was going to be. You will think of him on his 10th birthday when he should have been hitting double digits. You’ll miss him on his 13th birthday when you realize these should have been his teenage years. And miss the day when he should have been graduating high school, going to college. You’ll grieve and miss the day that he could have been getting married and having kids. You mourn your son as a person, not as some entity that was here for just a few years. And having a dog, cat, chicken, horse, or any other non human creature, will never ever compare to the loss of your child. Fur babies are not babies. Period. It’s a bad idea to compare bullet wounds, always. I’m so sorry for your loss.

Tears_of_skeletons

However, others felt that losing a dog is sometimes equally painful. Every moment of your life is spent with your fur baby, and they fill a part of your soul people just can’t.

Advertisement

NAH. Unless somebody has specifically gone through the events you did, nobody can know the pain you went through and the impact it had. To her , her fur baby was her everything and to her thats what she likely imagined your pain to be. I don’t think she meant anything mean by her comment but she is grieving and likely was looking for somebody to console her. 

Abieticacid

NAH. I’m going NAH because trauma is relative. Maybe this is the worst thing they’ve ever had happen to them, and trying to trauma-one-up someone who is trying to commiserate isn’t great form on your part. Yes your trauma is real, and yes on the grand scale of how “valuable” a human life is, yours is worse. That doesn’t mean your trauma isn’t valid, but it certainly doesn’t mean that you should take this as an affront or minimizing of your pain. They were trying to relate to you, as a friend, shortly after a traumatic event. You should cut them some slack.


evileagle

How would you have responded if this was your friend? Would you have handled it casually and calmly, understanding where the friend was coming from? Or was a freak out the right thing to do? We’d love to hear your opinions in the comments!

Advertisement

Keep Reading: Unpopular Opinion? Some Moms Are Urging People to Stop Calling Their Pets “Fur Babies”

Advertisement

Attention: While many of these stories are interesting, and we would love to take their word for it, the content in this article was taken from an unverifiable source (i.e., a Reddit forum). As such, we cannot guarantee that these events truly happened in the way that they are described in the original source.

Advertisement
Jade Small
Freelance Writer
Jade is a freelance writer and content creator from South Africa with over 7 years experience writing and creating. She's also a proud single mom to a super 13 year old boy.
Advertisement