If you are lucky enough to have a loving mother who is still in your life, when was the last time you called her? A couple of days ago? A week ago? Or has it been longer? This woman, Kristin Parrish, wrote a blog post about how integral her daily phone calls with her mom were in her life. Now that her mom is gone, it’s something that she misses more than she can explain.
“A Daily Call To My Mom”
Ever since she was a young adult, Kristin called her mom every single morning. In that call, they talked about everything – big and small. The call grounded her and reminded her of what was important. She continued to call her mom even when she was a mom herself, at home with little children.
“I called my mom while juggling sippy cups with Blues Clues playing in the background. My oldest son woke up way too early and the day loomed before me endless and overwhelming,” she wrote. “The call connected me to a life line, to a source of calm and comfort, a reminder of the power of a mother’s love. The call reminded me that the work I was doing was valuable.” (1)
When she went back to work, she called her mom on her commute. The pair spoke every single day, and yet somehow, they never ran out of things to talk about. Often, they would have to finish their conversation with Kristin sitting in her office’s parking lot. It didn’t matter when (or where); her phone call with her mom was the official start to her day.
What Happened When Her Mom Passed
Kristin’s mom passed away in October of 2020, and her absence left a gaping hole in her life. She explained how she no longer knew how to start her day. Without her mom, she felt lost.
“My mom cared so deeply about the most trivial parts of my life. She cared about the stain on my carpet. The dress I got on sale. The recipe I was trying for dinner,” Kristin wrote. “She cared about the big parts too – my work, my marriage, my family.” (1)
Her mom was someone who she could not replace by calling someone else. Leading up to her death, there is one thing that she recalls her mom saying: that she wished that she could call her mom and tell her that she was dying. Even her own mother still wanted to speak to her mother when she was scared and vulnerable.
Without her mom, Kristen was feeling lost and confused. She knew the rest of her family loved her, but she wasn’t sure anyone cared about the minute details of her life the way her mother did. Then one day, she realized that the loss of her own mother meant the roles had shifted.
“Then yesterday my son called on his drive to work and I realize it’s my turn,” she realized. “My turn to be the one he calls. My turn to listen and love and be the start of someone else’s day. I will make sure to always answer – to listen with my heart – to do my mom proud. And I will know she is with us every time the phone rings.” (1)
I Need To Call My Mom – And You Should, Too
Not everyone is so lucky to have a loving, supportive mother figure in their life. Some people lost their mothers at a young age. Others have absentee mothers, or the relationship with their mother is toxic. If you are lucky enough to have a wonderful mom in your life, take this as a friendly reminder to call her more often. Even if you don’t feel like you have anything interesting to report, guarantee she cares about the mundane parts of your life, too. So go give her a call – one day, she won’t be there anymore to answer.
- “My Day Always Started With a Call to My Mom: Who Do I Call Now?” Grown and Flown. Kristin Parrish. March 28, 2021