During the pandemic, many people started working from home. For most, this isn’t an ideal situation. It’s hard to maintain a work-life balance when both occur in the same place, especially when the home environment is distracting. Makeshift home offices could be in the guest room to the kitchen table, often with bored kids running around. It’s a difficult situation to be in. But that doesn’t excuse this dad’s terrible attitude. According to his AITA post on Reddit, he needs “100% silence to focus.” And it’s his wife’s job to “be silent and shut the kids up” while he’s at work.
“AITA for needing 100% silence?”
The post is remarkable (to say the least). As you keep reading, you think his attitude couldn’t get any worse; and then it does.
The man begins by explaining that he has to work from home due to Covid-19. His wife is a stay-at-home mom, and they have twin toddlers. Normal enough so far.
“I need silence to work, and I don’t have a home office,” he writes, adding that their apartment is “smallish” with just enough room for the family. “It has been slowly pissing me off because I am working hours, and I hear noises such as my wife talking, watching tv, and kids playing from the other room. I have been VERY patient with them, telling more than once that I need 100% silence to focus, but even if they are trying to be ‘quiet,’ I still hear some noises (kids, walking around, making food, cleaning, etc.).” [1]
Honestly, it sounds like the mom is incredible if his noise complaints are regular living sounds. Any parent of toddlers, or anyone who sat next to one on a plane, knows how loud and unpredictable they could be. This man sounds ungrateful for the hard work she does… But remember, it only gets worse.
“I got fed up with it and told my wife off; I’m the one working in this family and paying for everything,” he continues. “The least they can give me is peace and quiet while I do my job. My wife is a stay-at-home mom, and it’s her job to be silent and shut the kids up.”
Don’t worry, it still gets worse.
“She doesn’t appreciate me.”
He goes on complaining about how his wife doesn’t appreciate how hard he works at his job. His proof? She has the gall to ask him to help out with the kids and household chores after work and on weekends “when I am obviously very tired [and] needing to wind down and relax for the night.”
Furthermore, he replies that taking care of the kids and home is her job. However, she insists that they’re his kids and his home too—the absolute nerve of her.
“It hurts she doesn’t appreciate how hard I work or my feelings. I do my part by supporting this family financially. If it wasn’t for me, we wouldn’t have a roof over our head or food to eat.
“But despite me voicing my feelings, she not only has the nerve to disturb my work but also expects me to work more afterward,” he ends. “My wife is angry at me and refuses to back down. The worst part? She claimed that I don’t appreciate her. Honestly, AITA?? I work very hard, and I feel like I deserve to have my feelings considered.”
Read: Mom’s Friends ‘Disgusted’ After She Tells Husband To Save Her Life Over The Baby’s During Birth
“It’s the wife’s job to shut the kids up.”
This “shut the kids up” dad was blasted, not only on Reddit but on Twitter. People were appalled at his misogynist, 1950s view of gender roles and household responsibilities. Many were convinced that this was a troll post, because who could be so unappreciative with so little self-awareness?
Most responses were in awe at how unrealistic the man was for “needing 100% silence”. It’s impossible to attain that at home, and it’s also impossible to attain it at a regular office, where people are always walking around, talking, and typing on their computers. It’s unreasonable for him to expect perfect silence in a family home when he could invest in a pair of earplugs or noise-canceling headphones, as many comments suggested.
Also, he wants to rest after his 9–5 while expecting his wife’s role of homemaker to continue 24/7. He maintains this toxic idea that since he provides the financials, he has more power in his relationship. So when he wants to rest, he gets to rest, no matter how his wife is feeling. Never mind if she was up all night with a sick child; if the kids misbehaved the entire day; or if she’s burned out for whatever reason. She spends the entire day taking care of other people’s needs — including his, doing her best to “shut the kids up” — and he doesn’t step in to make sure her needs are looked after. [2]
Some comments were directed at the wife, to advise her on this situation. As Kerri Coghill on Twitter says, “As a stay-at-home mom myself, I 100% agree that she should be giving him total silence to do his work. She should without a doubt divorce his ungrateful a** and leave him in total silence. She should also take every penny of child support the courts would allow.”
If his attitude doesn’t change, this sounds like the perfect solution. After all, he did insist that his only role should be “supporting this family financially”.
Keep Reading: Mom Wonders If She Went ‘Too Far’ By Sending Daughter To Bed Without Dinner
Sources
- “This Dude Expects His Wife To ‘Shut The Kids Up’ While He Works, LOL.” Scary Mommy. Cassandra Stone. September 29, 2020.
- “How to Be a Good Husband to a Stay-at-Home Mom.” Fatherly. Virginia Pelley. October 7, 2019