You can never truly understand or know the person beside you. This time around, a woman had to reach the wedding venue before she saw a nasty side of her supposed new bride. The circumstances are horrible as it is, without the added humiliation of the timing of the events. However, in the end, the woman is still confused about if she was in the wrong.
Originally posted in the AITA subreddit, the original poster, who is a 33-year-old woman, opened up about her horrible predicament. At the start, she explained that her past relationship had left her with a 14-year-old daughter, whom she loved to death. Tragically, about five months prior to the posting, a drunk driving accident left the daughter paraplegic. Nevertheless, at that time, she had a healthy relationship with her fiancée, a 35-year-old woman. Also, OP was already engaged to her. OP also reveals that her fiancée and her daughter, whom she referred to as Olive, shared a healthy relationship.
Trouble Arose With The Wedding Venue
OP’s engagement was still on. It also did not look like her daughter’s tragic incident showed any signs of stress in their relationship. By then, they “had put a deposit down for a beautiful castle wedding venue, [OP’s] fiancé’s dream venue.” Unfortunately, there was a huge problem with accessibility: “But, the place the ceremony would be held is up 3 flights of stairs, and it has no lift. Obviously not suitable for a paraplegic.”
After seriously thinking about it, OP’s daughter also wanted to attend the beginning of her mother’s new life. Taking this wish into consideration, the couple had no problems changing the wedding venue. In fact, they had already had another nice one targeted. OP looked up the place and its availability. Only a single date was still open that year, which would push the wedding date back by a week. However, OP was confident her fiancée would not mind since they had already discussed it, so she reserved it.
This was when things took an unexpectedly bad turn. OP recalls: “But when she got home and I told her, she blew up, saying she no longer wanted it there and the things we had brought wouldn’t fit (bs, we had chosen it all carefully, and we last conversed about it last week). I told her it was done now, the payment was made, and that Olive would have been incredibly sad if she missed her mum’s wedding, she views my fiancé as her mum too.”
Read: ‘No one gave my ‘baby’ son a seat on the train- and I’m outraged’
The Fiancée Refused To Back Down
OP’s explanation and request for consideration was for naught, as the bride-to-be refused to back down. The fiancée said that OP destroyed her cherished childhood dream by doing so. She also added that her daughter could have just attended the wedding via a Zoom call.
The mother, of course, did not stand by such blatant disregard for her child’s wishes. So she said: “I told her no way in hell, she has been through months of absolute hell, I’m not keeping her from coming to a day I know means so much to her.” It seems it was too much for reconciliation in the end. In a later edit, OP gave a serious update. “My fiancé and I have now broken up, she’s been my best friend for years and it was tough, but it was definitely for the better as I have payed upfront for the accessible venue, we’re going to have a party for olive…”
Reddit’s Reaction To The Wedding Venue Change
Most of the Redditors said that it was NTA. They pointed out how much of an insensitive person her fiancée was being. u/Scared-March7743 said: “NTA. She’s being a baby. I get that was her dream venue…but I’m sure your daughter had dreams that involved her legs and this is pale by comparison. This should be a time to be thankful for what you guys have.”
u/Brisco_Discos explained: “NTA but your fiance sounds like an absolute bridezilla. You might want to reconsider whether you want to marry this person who is showing you that her princess party is more important than your living daughter who needs a slight accommodation after a very serious trauma.”
Some, however, pointed out that OP was not completely blameless, especially with regard to how she treated her daughter. A shining example is u/rapt2right: “ESH except Olive. I am sorry about your daughter’s injuries and I don’t understand at all how it was ever a question about changing venues. How could you put the weight of that decision on your daughter for even a minute? It should have been a given that the wedding would be moved to an accessible venue in anticipation of Olive being able to attend.”
OP, at the same time, readily admitted her oversights in the situation. We are of the opinion that what happened in the end happened for the best, however. What do you think of the situation?
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