Jade Small
Jade Small
December 12, 2023 ·  4 min read

Bride Doesn’t Want Fiance’s ‘Crotch Goblin’ Toddler At Wedding

We’ve heard many vile names given to children by people who don’t understand them. But, Imagine someone called your child a crotch goblin? Imagine that person was your finance!?

Being engaged can be a wonderful time in your life where you and your partner discuss your future together and make plans, but we all have a past and things that we can not change. Sometimes it comes in the form of emotional baggage, or sometimes it can be 3 failed previous marriages. Out of those failures and disappointments, sometimes you get an incredible gift that you wouldn’t change for anything in the form of a baby. 

A couple engaged to be married, a young woman and a man with a child from a previous relationship, recently posted on social media that the bride did not want his, and I quote, ‘crotch goblin’ at HER wedding. 

Woman calls her finance’s child a crotch goblin

Planning a wedding can always be stressful. Will it be an open bar? Where will we place that weird uncle who licks everything, and why would we invite that uncle anyway? Who is going to be the ring bearer and flower girl? Do we even want kids at the wedding?  

These are all questions we should ask well in advance of the actual wedding day, and if you don’t get along with your partner’s family, maybe it’s not the best idea to get married. However, some people think differently. 

“I specifically put no kids on the inversions, so I assumed he’d get the point, but he keeps talking about her like she’ll be there,” she posted on a Facebook group. The backlash was intense and overwhelmingly negative. Over 1000 comments came in, calling her a terrible person and not worth marrying. The future step-mother decided to double down and respond. “She is three years old and super needy; she makes everything about her. That thing is his mistake, not mine, and I said no f***ing kids. If you have nothing nice to say, then scroll on.” [1]

Will it last?

Needless to say, that did not go down well. One comment on social media read; “I’m pretty childfree and even I think this is absolutely abhorrent” 

In another reading; “If you don’t want to be in your partner’s kid’s life, don’t be with that person at all.” 

Several commenters mentioned that the marriage won’t last very long and that it was doomed to fail. “She’s three! Of course, she makes everything about her; that’s all she knows,” said one comment.

Another person agreed, saying, “This marriage, if it happens, is gonna end quick or last wat too long and be horrible the entire time.” One of my personal favorite comments was; “There is a really good reason no one has anything nice to say because you are a terrible human being”[1][2]

Read: Mom Reveals She Can’t Stand Her 9-Year-Old Daughter And Avoids Her At All Costs

An anonymous Reddit user found the post on Facebook and posted it to Reddit under the caption “Just throw this woman away” 

The response once again was overly negative towards the bride-to-be, with a user named existential_kitty saying, “The groom needs to cancel the wedding ASAP,” and another named ITooHaveThumbs said, “His mistake for marrying an adult goblin. That’s what you get for calling the child of the supposed love of your life a crotch goblin!

iNatro said that all 3-year-olds are needy, and that is not their fault. Another user named rapidpeacock replied saying; “Some kinds demand multiple meals a day! Ridiculous! My dog only needs one bowl of kibble a day, and she’s bigger than any toddler. If a child can’t get by on a bowl of kibble, then that’s too bad,” B4kedP0tato wrote; “I feel bad for the little girl if the marriage does happen. That’s evil stepmother material.”

There were a few users, however, that saw things from the bride who called the poor little child a crotch goblin’s perspective. One user named StanCorr said, “Sure, calling your future daughter-in-law a mistake isn’t nice, but I kinda see where she’s coming from. Toddlers, in general, are wonderful, but in most cases, they are really annoying at adult events. They are unpredictable and messy and make noise and need tending to at random times, and it’s potentially worse than it’s the groom’s kid because she could start shouting for daddy if she sees him. A wedding should be as perfect as possible, and even one young kid there makes the chances of that drop significantly.”[1][2]

No perfect day 

There is no way to ensure that your wedding day will be perfect, but there are things you can do to minimize imperfection. If children are not your thing and you do not want them at your wedding, that is totally within your rights to do so. However, if it is your partner’s child, maybe don’t do what this woman did?

Sit down with your partner and discuss calmly when you would prefer not to have any children at the wedding, including theirs. We can’t promise that will go down too well, but at the very least, you have communicated and not done with this woman did. And, do not call their child a mistake or crotch goblin, for goodness sake!

Keep Reading: ‘My pregnant wife refuses to do any chores because she says it’ll hurt the baby’

Sources

  1. Bride Says Her Fiancé’s ‘Goblin’ Child Isn’t Welcome at Their Wedding in Horrific Viral Post.” Parents
  2. Bridezilla slammed for branding fiancé’s daughter, 3, a crotch goblin who she wants to BAN from wedding.The Sun