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Jade Small
Jade Small
December 23, 2023 ·  3 min read

Mom Reveals She Can’t Stand Her 9-Year-Old Daughter And Avoids Her At All Costs

This mom says she can’t stand her daughter, and explains why and how she hopes it will change.

As parents, we often forget that our little babies are actual people with feelings and ideas and grow up to form new feelings and ideas. If we have done our job correctly, they’ll be able to navigate these new waters by themselves and will grow and evolve. So what do you do when your child has a personality that you just do not like? You love them; you just don’t like them. 

Woman can’t stand her daughter

All parents have their own ideas of what a good parent is, you have to teach them, clean them, feed them and so on, but nobody ever said that you HAVE to like them.[1]

Sharing her story on Kidspot, an anonymous mother confessed that she can’t stand her daughter and hates to be around her. The mother of three has a great relationship with her two young kids, a girl and a boy, and used to have the same relationship with her eldest. Still, as she got older, her personality began to show itself, and it was not something the mother was prepared for. 

The mother says that there is a difference between not loving her daughter and not liking her daughter and would like to express that she really does like her daughter. Still, her constant attitude of selfishness and overall brattiness has caused her to want to avoid her daughter at all costs.

“She starts drama wherever she goes. At school. At home. I’ve tried to sit down with her and talk it out, but she will not listen, and I end up frustrated and angry.” 

“We clash constantly, and when I try to hold her accountable for things, she will not accept responsibility. Even on holiday, I try to let go and just have fun with my family, but most times, I just end up fed up with Lilly”.

She even went as far as to ask her husband to take full parental control. To take her to any events or school because she cannot spend time with her without getting angry. 

Tried to work it out 

The mother claims to have done everything in her power to repair this relationship and spend quality time with her daughter but with no success. She hopes that one day Lilly will change and grow out of these personality pitfalls because she does not want to feel like this towards her daughter forever. “I want to enjoy my time with her; I want to like her just like her siblings.”[1]

Are you experiencing the same?

If you or anyone you know is having trouble with feelings of dislike or contempt towards their children, here are a few tips that you may try out.[2]

  • Recognize your feeling and try to understand them. You may feel guilty for disliking your child but really try to find out where that feeling comes from 
  • Identify your triggers and make them known. Knowing what sets you off can be very helpful in avoiding conflict 
  • Do not expect too much too soon. We all take time to accept new things and past trauma can play a huge role in whether or not we accept that change, so show some grace
  • Get to know yourself and introduce them to your child. You were once a child of that age, take yourself back there, feel what the feel, express that you are trying to understand and even though you may never understand, tell them you will always try.
  • Stay positive, This time of repair is very fragile and your child may test you or try to break you to prove a point to themselves, do not let this happen. Eventually, they will give up and when they do you will be there with true love in your heart 
  • No low blows. You’re the adult, they are the child. There is a reason its called ‘acting like a child’ When you fight and they resort to name-calling or try to get under your skin, do not sink to there level, try to be an example of positive conflict resolution. And besides, you’re bigger and stronger so don’t fight.

Keep Reading: Daycare Writes a Note on Baby’s Stomach to Shame His Mom Into Packing More Diapers

Sources

  1. Mum confesses she doesn’t like and avoids her own child.” Kidspot. Shona Hendley. March 02, 2021.
  2. What to Do When You Dislike Your Child.” Empowering Parents. Debbie Pincus, MS LMHC.