fighting couple on couch
Jade Small
Jade Small
December 11, 2023 ·  4 min read

My boyfriend refuses to divorce his ex unless I pay for it. Is this relationship worth saving?

When you want the best advice, where do you turn? The internet is full of commenters who have been through it all and can share their opinions on life, love, and even divorce.

Morgan Absher is an occupational therapist in L.A. who famously shares advice on both her podcast and published articles. She was recently asked a question about divorce on USA Today that got the internet riled up. Everyone had something to say about the situation, and even Morgan was pretty shocked about what was going down.

Question About Divorce

Asking for relationship advice is usually what happens when someone knows what they should do already, but they need to hear it said to them in a different way. Outside perspectives are pretty important when it comes to seeing red flags for what they truly are.

It all started when a 39-year-old woman posted her story to Morgan and asked if her relationship was worth saving. She describes her current relationship as distant and lacking communication.

“I am a 39-year-old female and my boyfriend is a 33-year-old male. We have been together for five years. There are a few things I can’t handle and have voiced my opinion on, but I get called crazy or just get ignored. Communication for us has been minimal for the past two years or so.”

USA Today

As if that weren’t already an alarming condition to face each day in a relationship, things seem to only get worse from here.

“He is still married to his ex. While he has promised a divorce, he refuses to get one now unless I pay for it. He and I are intimate three times a month and only when he wants to. He doesn’t compliment or acknowledge any of my social media posts or things I send directly to him (like racy pictures).”

USA Today

The Final Straw

According to the person who asked the question to Morgan, their husband is acting a bit selfish. Sure, birthdays can be spent however the person having the special day wants to have them. But your partner should be included, right? Or, at least anniversaries are considered something to share, aren’t they?

“What has recently made me upset and is my last straw, is that he decided he wanted to take time off for his birthday. I am not mad that he wants to go and do something alone for his birthday. I’m more upset that he didn’t ask if I was doing anything for him, which I always do, and didn’t ask if I wanted to go.

I’m mad that he can take time off for his own birthday, but can’t take off for my birthday or our anniversary. The past two years he has done nothing for both my birthday or anniversary.”

USA Today

So, naturally, the person who sent the question in wants some solid advice. And, thankfully, the internet was not going to let them down.

Read: Dad’s Emotional Post about Raising His Baby Daughter Alone after Her Mom Left Them

Reactions to Divorce Question

Red flags are everywhere in the question they wrote to Morgan. However, they probably couldn’t see all of the neon signs right in front of their face. So, the internet jumped on board to lend some more advice about the strange divorce ultimatum.

The comments that followed on Twitter were definitely something else. It looked like everyone had an opinion.

Read: Mom-To-Be Asks For Advice After Husband ‘Forces’ Her To Allow In-Laws In The Delivery Room

As you can see, the reactions varied from one person to the next. Several people were confused about how a relationship could even function like this. Others believed the person shouldn’t have been dating a married person in the first place.

divorce text twitter

Overall, most agreed with what Morgan had to say as her final thoughts on the matter.

You shouldn’t have to demand or beg someone to pay attention to you, spend time with you or be in a relationship with you. You deserve to feel supported, communicated with and loved in your relationship. Based on your story, this relationship does not seem like one that is promoting a safe, happy, healthy environment for you.

USA Today

Solid advice. Remember, just because you are comfortable with settling for a lousy relationship doesn’t mean that it is acceptable. You deserve better.

Keep Reading: Husband Asks for Advice When His Pregnant Wife Won’t Stop Drinking


  1. “My boyfriend refuses to divorce his ex unless I pay for it. Is this relationship worth saving?USA Today. December 6, 2021
  2. USA Today. Twitter. December 6, 2021.