Everyone has bad moments but the hardest part is calming down afterward. Shelbee Haderer decided to give her adorable daughter a head start on the art of self-soothing with positive affirmations. In a video, two-year-old Brilee is crying after her fingers got caught in a door. She even explains what happened through her tears and pays close attention to what her mom tells her.
“I’m ok, I’m strong, I’m beautiful..”
Behind the camera, Shelbee asks if Brilee is okay and encourages her to take several deep breaths. Then Shelbee guides her through some positive affirmations to help her daughter feel better. Repeating after her mother, Brilee says, “I’m okay, I’m strong, I’m beautiful, I’m loved, I’m worthy.”
It’s clear that the little girl’s mood is lifted from the start of the video to the end. Then her mother tells her, “You’re beautiful.” And Brilee smiles and reaches up and says, “Thank you, mom.” And the two tell each other, “I love you.”
This adorable moment got shared on Facebook, receiving over 70 million views and hundreds of thousands of comments praising the mom and the little girl. Said one commenter, “I thought this was great!!! I definitely could learn a lesson from this little girl.”
Another person wrote, “It was perfect building great confidence within her child. All the while she continued to make sure she was ok… Kudo’s to a great mama.” And another said, “A wonderful way to boost the confidence of a young child and show love, support, and strength.” 
Learning Self-Love and Affirmations
Positive affirmations are simply positive statements that challenge negative and unhelpful thinking. It’s a way to motivate oneself, encourage positivity, and boost self-esteem. They also can combat negative self-talk and replace them with more helpful phrases. Many people use affirmations without realizing it. After all, they are essentially little pep talks.
While there is evidence proving the helpfulness of affirmations, they aren’t magic. To be effective, they require regular practice. Plus, they should aspire for things within reach. For instance, instead of trying to affirm that you will get a certain job, affirm that you are confident and capable of giving a good interview.
Affirmations also include creating a mental image of succeeding or overcoming something. This activates the same areas of the brain that fire up when you are actually experiencing these things. Regularly repeating positive statements can encourage your brain to accept them as facts. And when you believe you can do something, your actions can reflect that. 
But remember, actions should follow affirmations. After all, saying positive phrases is a good step toward improvement, but it’s not the beginning and end of the process. For instance, if you are trying to calm yourself during a stressful situation, you can say to yourself, “I can stay composed and cool” and start taking deep breaths or other grounding exercises. This kind of method can help you follow through on your affirmation.
Additionally, your affirmations should include things you believe. You can say things like “I am beautiful” and “I love myself” but if you don’t really feel that way, the affirmations won’t help. In fact, they might make you feel worse. Instead, pick more specific or neutral statements. Such as “I love my eyes and my smile” and “I am working on being kinder to myself.” 
Countering Negative Thought Patterns
Be aware of negative affirmations you may be telling yourself without realizing it. Often, people tell themselves, “I am a failure,” “I can’t do anything right,” or “I am undeserving of unconditional love.” And their actions and self-perceptions reflect that. If you find yourself struggling with such thoughts, remember to pick specific and neutral positive affirmations to counter them. Affirmations that you actually believe. And practice this positive self-talk every day.
Keep in mind that many of these negative and self-hating thoughts can be results of trauma or childhood conditioning. If that’s the case, a therapist can help you identify the causes of negative thoughts and offer healthier coping strategies. Low self-esteem and negative thought patterns don’t go away without conscious effort and therapy can be extremely helpful to get you on a happier and more self-loving path. 
Keep Reading: Mother Lets Her 8-MO Baby Eat Dirt And Sand To ‘Build His Immune System,’ Faces Massive Outrage
- “I’M OK, I’M STRONG, I’M BEAUTIFUL.” Facebook. Shelbee Haderer. July 15, 2020
- “Self-affirmation activates brain systems associated with self-related processing and reward and is reinforced by future orientation.” Social Cognitive and Affective Neuroscience. Christopher N. Cascio. April 2016
- “5 Steps to Make Affirmations Work for You.” Psychology Today. Ronald Alexander Ph.D. August 15, 2011
- “Positive Affirmations: Too Good to Be True?” Healthline. Crystal Raypole. September 1, 2020