Janine knew her marriage was over long before her husband asked for a divorce. Mike had always been about appearances, flashy cars, clothes, and houses, but he had prioritized their relationship over everything. Until he didn’t. She wasn’t sure when they fell out of love, but it was clear in hindsight. So when he asked for a divorce, she gave it to him. At first, he was triumphant to win all of their assets, including their home, but she had the last laugh.
Her mother saw it coming
Janine’s mother had always seen through Mike’s facade, despite Janine’s insistence that she was overlooking all of Mike’s positive attributes, like his attentiveness, his friendly nature, and his generosity. Her mother said it was all rooted in selfishness, and it took a long time before Janine saw it too. But after her initial warnings, her mother bit her tongue and supported the couple throughout the years.
He wanted to “win” the divorce
“I want a divorce,” Mike said, one evening without much preamble. Janine gave a terse smile and nodded. She wasn’t wearing her wedding ring. He looked surprised at her quiet acceptance. “That’s it? You’re not going to even try to fight for us?”
“Are you?” she responded, and that was that. He was eager to begin the legal proceedings, and began fighting for the house, car, savings, and such. Janine used to participate in his flashy, braggy lifestyle, but she was sick of all of the falsities. Even now, Mike wanted the limelight. He wanted to “win” their divorce. So she let him. Being free of him was her win. And she had an ace up her sleeve that would make him regret his greed.
So she let him “win”
“You can have it all,” she said during a grueling meeting with Mike and their respective lawyers. Everyone was shocked. Her lawyer tried to convince her to change her mind, but she insisted that all she wanted was her personal belongings. After his initial surprise, Mike became gleeful, and “gave her permission” to pack up her things that afternoon. She agreed, pretending to seem defeated.
“Get ready to make your move”
But when she was alone in her car, Janine burst into laughter. She called her mother to tell her what happened. Then she added, “I’ll let you know when I’m done packing. Get ready to make your move.” Her mother said she had been ready since the two had gotten married. She sounded more gleeful than Mike in the conference room.
“You set me up!”
The next morning, Janine was cooking breakfast in her new apartment. It was devoid of the ostentagious decor Mike had insisted on. Instead it was decorated with plants and photos of Janine with her friends and family members. Her reverie was interrupted by a phone call from Mike who sounded hysterical: “You set me up!”
Janine grinned. What Mike had forgotten was that her mother had helped them buy their house. It was out of their means but she had been kind enough to provide the down payment. But it came with a contract that allowed her to live there whenever she wanted. He had signed it, too preoccupied with filling the house with fancy junk.
Who’s house is it?
Janine may have bowed out of her ownership of the estate, but her mother did not. As Mike screamed and threatened legal action, Janine heard her mother in the background. “Michael, you’d better lower your voice; you’re scaring the kittens. And you’d better not leave those dishes in the sink.”
“Natalie, stop this,” Mike seethed over the phone. Janine covered her mouth to stifle her laughter as her mother talked over him. “This is my house,” he interrupted. “You need to get out now or I’ll call my lawyers. I have a client coming—”
Won the divorce but lost the war
“Client, shmient! This is also my house, and you know it. You need your lawyers to explain that to you? Now, quit whining and do the dishes. And after that, you’d better vacuum. If you want to have these tacky rugs, you’d better learn how to clean them. And give me the TV remote; I’m sickof that business yapping, and my soaps are on.” Mike hung up, but Janine called her mother, who let her listen in as she continued to nag. Janine sat at the table to eat her breakfast, loving every minute of it. (You can check out the original story on AmoMama.)
Don’t rush into divorce proceedings
Sometimes divorces can end with a satisfying “gotcha” moment, but more often than not, they end with heartbreak and financial turmoil. Therefore, there are many important considerations when entering divorce court. Although the dissolution of a marriage can feel like the death of a loved one, it’s important not to rush the process, according to Investopedia. Like in the above story, this can lead to an unfair division of assets, and most people don’t have their mothers signed onto their housing contract. One party may take advantage of the other’s desire to speed the proceedings and take more than they are owed.
You may not want the family home
Part of the process should involve both parties getting their own independent valuation of major assets to present to the judge, arbitrator, or mediator to help ensure they are divided fairly. At the same time, shine a spotlight on all marital debts, such as credit cards, loans, mortgages, etc. so one party is not forced to pay for their ex’s spending.
It’s also important to consider which assets to prioritize. The family home is often fought over because it offers a sense of security and familiarity during so much uncertainty. But it’s not always the best choice (especially if your ex-mother-in-law moves in.) It can become a financial drain when only one income has to cover the costs, including mortgages, property taxes, insurance, upkeep, etc., writes Lisette Smith, CFP, CDFA.
Take care of your mental health
Sometimes it’s better to start fresh, in a new home untainted by unpleasant memories. Divorce comes with many challenges and emotional turbulance. It may be the best decision of your life, but it’s often a painful one. So it’s important to take care of yourself throughout it, advises MentalHealth.com. Allow yourself to grieve; even if you won’t miss the relationship, you may miss the stability. You may mourn the life you thought you would have with that person, and now you are accepting that it won’t ever happen.
So be easy on yourself and try to focus on the present. Take it one day at a time and don’t ruminate about the future. Reach out to friends, loved ones, or therapists who can support you emotionally. Meanwhile, do self-care activities such as exercising and enjoyable hobbies, especially when you are entrenched in the legal proceedings. When one door closes, another one opens, and there is so much good waiting in the new foyer.
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This fictional story was inspired by stories from around the web. Any similarities between this story and actual people are purely coincidental.