Married men are notorious for having wandering eyes, flirting inappropriately, or lusting after a younger woman than the one he’s married to. While not all men agree or fit the stereotype, here are a few reasons to consider why men might flirt with another woman, despite their marital status.
1. Looking for Excitement
Both men and women get caught up in the monotony of life, having repetitive meals, conversations, and experiences. As such, a little variety like dangerously flirting with another can be an exciting outlet for married men.
2. Married Men Crave Validation
The thrill of flirting with another person often brings married men a much-needed ego boost. Not only is flirting dangerous and riveting but it also validates married men, reminding them that they’re still charming and desirable.
Read More: Is Your Partner ‘Future Faking’? Psychologist Explains Signs And Why Narcissists Commonly Do It
3. Unmet Needs
Although women are more in tune with their emotions, many men are sensitive and emotional beings, whether or not they want to admit it. As a result, many married men can be needy, or have a partner who has a lot to deal with often, pushing the relationship to the back burner. Either way, this can be soul-crushing for married men as they don’t feel seen or heard. This may cause married men to flirt with other women as an added avenue to getting their emotional needs met.
4. Married Men miss Intimacy
Like emotional needs, people also have physical needs. And like emotional needs, busy schedules can stand in the way of ensuring needs are being met. Married men may use flirting with other women as a means of satisfying their needs or wants. In some cases, flirting can be harmless. And if both parties are on the same page, it may even open a conversation that reignites a spark. But in some cases, married men may miss the physical intimacy, causing them to stray outside of their marriage. Either way, couples need to discuss and respect boundaries so that no one is caught by surprise or gets hurt.
5. Emotions at Work
Both men and women can develop close relationships with their co-workers. After all, we spend the majority of our time with them. As a result, married men may feel comfortable flirting with a female co-worker because they have a close and fun-loving relationship. Sadly, this has been the cause of many divorces as people sometimes fall in love with their co-workers. However, it doesn’t have to be the ending of a relationship, assuming both people in the relationship are on the same page about flirting with others, and where the act verges on inappropriate.
6. Married Men need Appreciation
Like validation, men also need appreciation. They need to be reminded of all they add to their partner’s life, or the lives of others. Married men who do not feel valued, appreciated, seen, or need an ego boost may flirt as a means to renew their own beliefs that they are good providers or supporters of those closest to them.
7. Misconceptions
Married men may be perceived as flirting with others when they’re merely being polite, friendly, social, or engaging. However, we all have different personality traits. And some people are more outgoing than others. Sadly, those whose loved ones have mistreated them in the past may view this kindness and use of manners as a version of flirting. When in reality, married men are polite and kind, using the manners their moms taught them and their wives help reinforce.
Read More: Is Your Partner ‘Future Faking’? Psychologist Explains Signs And Why Narcissists Commonly Do It
Harmless Shifts to Hazardous
Married Men aren’t always cheating. In many cases, they’re flirting as a means of getting attention. Be it from their wife who realizes her husband’s flirting is simply a sign that he needs more from her. Or from a younger or attractive woman, which reminds him he’s still desirable. While flirting can be harmless, there are instances in which flirting might be considered cheating and is a sign that damage has occurred within a relationship. Signs that harmless flirting has become something to address include when flirting becomes physical or a secret withheld from a partner or spouse. Or the flirting has gone beyond playful and fun, becoming a deep emotional connection. Most importantly, married men flirting outside their relationship is always a red flag if it causes their partner emotional discomfort of any kind more so if they don’t respect those feelings.
Why Women Want Married Men
Although most women support and empower each other, some can’t keep their hands off a man, even if he falls into the category of married men. It’s difficult to imagine why women would want to be with married men, but according to Stephanie Newman, Ph.D., the answer may be simple. While the thrill of doing something dangerous or taboo is a common reason that women are attracted to married men, it’s not the most common. Surprisingly, women seek relationships with men because they want a no-strings-attached relationship. Or, as Newman wrote for Psychology Today, they use “the logic ‘If he has a wife at home and is cheating with me, I know he’s not cheating on me.'”
Relationships and Marriages are challenging to navigate
Marriage requires a lot of effort from both parties. However, when married men or women feel incomplete or unsatisfied they’re more likely to step outside their partnership to find validation, connection, or support. Therefore, both parties need to establish and respect boundaries early on to avoid any feelings of confusion, hurt, or betrayal.
Read More: 7 Things That Can End Relationships and Unknowingly Lead to Divorce
Sources
- “Is Flirting Considered Cheating? 5 Red Flags.” Psyche Central Hope Gillette August 5, 2022.
- “Why Women Want Married Men.” Psychology Today. Stephanie Newman. October 31, 2012.
