couple embracing in backlit hallway
Chantel Brink
Chantel Brink
April 25, 2024 ·  3 min read

Is Your Partner ‘Future Faking’? Psychologist Explains Signs And Why Narcissists Commonly Do It

Embarking on a new relationship is akin to setting sail into uncharted waters. Brimming with excitement and endless possibilities for the journey ahead. It’s a time when dreams twist and visions of a shared future dance in the minds of partners. However, amidst the euphoria, it’s essential to maintain a wise eye, for not all promises are made with sincerity. Bring on future faking.

The Illusion Unveiled: What is ‘Future Faking’?

The Illusion Unveiled: What is 'Future Faking'?
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In the euphoria of newfound love, individuals might weave intricate tales of a future together, painting vivid pictures of bliss and fulfillment. This phenomenon, termed ‘future faking,’ is a manipulation tactic deployed by some individuals, particularly those with narcissistic tendencies. Driven by the desire for control, future fakers divert attention away from the present, ensnaring their partners in a web of grandiose promises.

Read More: How Narcissists Play The Victim To Turn The Tables On Their Other Half

The Psychology Behind the Charade

The Psychology Behind the Charade
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Delving into the psyche of future fakers unveils a complex interplay of insecurity and manipulation. Dr. Joel Frank elucidates that these individuals seek to bolster their fragile self-esteem by basking in the adoration and validation of a romantic partner. Their grandiose schemes serve as a façade, shielding them from confronting their inner doubts and shortcomings.

Accumulating a Narcissistic Supply

future faking - Accumulating a Narcissistic Supply
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“This means having reassurance or developing relationships that disprove the internal beliefs they have about themselves of not being good enough. So, they’ll look for a partner who tends to dive into relationships quickly and tells them how amazing their plans sound,” he said.

Read More: Toxic People Don’t Deserve To Be A Part Of Your Life, Even If They Are Family

Recognizing the Telltale Signs

Identifying future faking necessitates a keen awareness of subtle cues embedded within the relationship dynamics.
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Identifying future faking necessitates a keen awareness of subtle cues embedded within the relationship dynamics. Love bombing, a technique characterized by excessive flattery and grand gestures, often heralds the onset of future faking. Moreover, leveraging insecurities as a means of control and manipulation underscores the insidious nature of this phenomenon.

The Mask Unveiled: Piercing Through the Deception

The Mask Unveiled: Piercing Through the Deception
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While future fakers may adeptly disguise their true intentions, their actions ultimately betray their façade. Beneath the veneer of charm lies a calculated agenda devoid of genuine commitment or sincerity. As Patrice Le Goy aptly notes, the true aim of future fakers is not to nurture a shared future but to exert dominance and control over their partners.

Read More: Narcissistic Children Are Raised By Parents Who Do These 8 Things

However, in Reality, You Can’t Rely on Them to Follow Through With Their Promises

in Reality, You Can't Rely on Them to Follow Through With Their Promises
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This might feel good at first, but it can also be overwhelming since it’s meant to feed the love bomber’s ego rather than benefit the recipient,” Le Goy said. “It’s really a way of taking over someone’s life and taking their freedom away,” Le Goy added. “Instead of empathizing with you, the future faker’s goal is to step in and solve the problem for you, which allows them to gain control in the relationship.”

Navigating the Path Ahead

In the realm of romance, insight is important.
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In the realm of romance, insight is important. As the allure of grand promises beckons, it is crucial to peer beyond the shimmering facade and discern the authenticity of intentions. ‘Future faking’ serves as a sobering reminder that not all dreams are destined for reality. So, as you chart the course of your romantic journey, remember that true love blossoms in the light of honesty and authenticity, not in the shadows of deceit and manipulation.

Read More: Why Toxic People Will Never Admit They’re Wrong

Sources

  1. “Signs your partner is ‘future faking’ as psychologist explains why it’s commonly used by narcissistsLad Bible. Olivia Burke. April 16, 2024.
  2. How Narcissists Use Future Faking to Manipulate You Into a RelationshipVery Well Mind. Katharine Chan, MSc, BSc, PMP. September 26, 2023
  3. How Narcissists Use Future Faking to Manipulate YouPsych Central. Darius Cikanavicius. September 16, 2019.
  4. How Narcissists Use Faking to Lure PartnersPsychology Today. Elinor Greenberg Ph.D.March 16, 2021.