Embarking on a new relationship is akin to setting sail into uncharted waters. Brimming with excitement and endless possibilities for the journey ahead. It’s a time when dreams twist and visions of a shared future dance in the minds of partners. However, amidst the euphoria, it’s essential to maintain a wise eye, for not all promises are made with sincerity. Bring on future faking.
The Illusion Unveiled: What is ‘Future Faking’?
In the euphoria of newfound love, individuals might weave intricate tales of a future together, painting vivid pictures of bliss and fulfillment. This phenomenon, termed ‘future faking,’ is a manipulation tactic deployed by some individuals, particularly those with narcissistic tendencies. Driven by the desire for control, future fakers divert attention away from the present, ensnaring their partners in a web of grandiose promises.
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The Psychology Behind the Charade
Delving into the psyche of future fakers unveils a complex interplay of insecurity and manipulation. Dr. Joel Frank elucidates that these individuals seek to bolster their fragile self-esteem by basking in the adoration and validation of a romantic partner. Their grandiose schemes serve as a façade, shielding them from confronting their inner doubts and shortcomings.
Accumulating a Narcissistic Supply
“This means having reassurance or developing relationships that disprove the internal beliefs they have about themselves of not being good enough. So, they’ll look for a partner who tends to dive into relationships quickly and tells them how amazing their plans sound,” he said.
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Recognizing the Telltale Signs
Identifying future faking necessitates a keen awareness of subtle cues embedded within the relationship dynamics. Love bombing, a technique characterized by excessive flattery and grand gestures, often heralds the onset of future faking. Moreover, leveraging insecurities as a means of control and manipulation underscores the insidious nature of this phenomenon.
The Mask Unveiled: Piercing Through the Deception
While future fakers may adeptly disguise their true intentions, their actions ultimately betray their façade. Beneath the veneer of charm lies a calculated agenda devoid of genuine commitment or sincerity. As Patrice Le Goy aptly notes, the true aim of future fakers is not to nurture a shared future but to exert dominance and control over their partners.
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However, in Reality, You Can’t Rely on Them to Follow Through With Their Promises
“This might feel good at first, but it can also be overwhelming since it’s meant to feed the love bomber’s ego rather than benefit the recipient,” Le Goy said. “It’s really a way of taking over someone’s life and taking their freedom away,” Le Goy added. “Instead of empathizing with you, the future faker’s goal is to step in and solve the problem for you, which allows them to gain control in the relationship.”
Navigating the Path Ahead
In the realm of romance, insight is important. As the allure of grand promises beckons, it is crucial to peer beyond the shimmering facade and discern the authenticity of intentions. ‘Future faking’ serves as a sobering reminder that not all dreams are destined for reality. So, as you chart the course of your romantic journey, remember that true love blossoms in the light of honesty and authenticity, not in the shadows of deceit and manipulation.
Read More: Why Toxic People Will Never Admit They’re Wrong
Sources
- “Signs your partner is ‘future faking’ as psychologist explains why it’s commonly used by narcissists” Lad Bible. Olivia Burke. April 16, 2024.
- “How Narcissists Use Future Faking to Manipulate You Into a Relationship” Very Well Mind. Katharine Chan, MSc, BSc, PMP. September 26, 2023
- “How Narcissists Use Future Faking to Manipulate You” Psych Central. Darius Cikanavicius. September 16, 2019.
- “How Narcissists Use Faking to Lure Partners” Psychology Today. Elinor Greenberg Ph.D.March 16, 2021.