A True Father Is Not the One Who Pays the Bills, but the One Who Puts His Family First

Opinion

In previous generations, a father’s role was pretty straightforward, pay the bills and be a provider. However, their contributions go much further than that. Fathers can act as protectors of the family, role models for their sons (and daughters), and teammates or partners for their spouses. Their role is actually quite complex and has lasting effects on their children’s development and happiness.

Prioritizing Family

Mothers are busy providing a nurturing space, losing sleep, checking temperatures and wiping runny noses, and keeping track of schedules. Most of the time, the effort they put in is behind the scenes and often goes unnoticed. In contrast, fathers typically represent their family units. They feel a pressure that is more publicly recognized. However, recognition of women and mothers is becoming more prevalent.

The U.S. Census Bureau estimates that 1 in 4 children live without a biological, step, or adoptive father. Without a strong father figure, kids miss out on so much more than just love. They miss out on important life lessons as well. So, with all these expectations, what role do fathers actually play? How important is it for children to have a present and engaging father? What happens to a child’s development when fathers don’t fulfill their roles? And is there a difference between living in the same household or just making time to spend with your kids?

Fathers Make a Significant Impact

Firstly, it’s important to remember that kids need love, encouragement, and support. While paying the bills and putting food on the table is essential, it’s also important for children to get quality time with their parents. Furthermore, specifically, when quality time is spent with fathers, it significantly impacts children’s abilities to self-manage emotions and behaviors. Furthermore, children with present fathers have statistically done better in school.

They also have a better chance of gaining higher economic status in adulthood when they have present fathers while growing up. Many studies have shown having a present father helps children improve their own self-image. When people have higher self-esteem, they are happier and often more successful.

Read: Your Mom May Feel Closer To Her Grandkids Than To You. Here’s Why: Study

Studies Find Fathers are Crucial

Researchers conducted a study called the Fragile Families and Child Wellbeing Study, which looked at the association between stressed-out mothers, and present fathers. They compared mother-father relationship status, parenting methods, and sharing the responsibilities of parenting. The data reflected that when fathers actively engaged with their children and their spouse or co-parent, everyone felt less stressed and more supported. The study also found that women who grew up with absent fathers were more likely to have children with absent fathers. Furthermore, men who grew up without fathers were more likely to be absent fathers themselves.

Living Together vs. Spending Time Together

Some scientists theorize that it’s more important to be present in a child’s life than it is to stay in an unhappy household. At the forefront of every need exists for a happy and stress-free environment. When two parents are constantly in conflict with one another, a child often feels responsible and may even develop low self-esteem. So, staying in an unhappy marriage just to be in the same household can have damaging effects on par with not having fathers in the picture. In contrast, when fathers make time for their children and help support the mother, the whole family dynamic operates more smoothly. Whether emotional or financial, shared responsibility minimizes everyone’s overall stress levels.

Quality time with both parents is impactful. Each parent makes sacrifices for the betterment of their families and each experiences their version of pressure. Sometimes they are left feeling inadequate. However, fathers making their families a priority is important for several reasons. The most important is to cultivate love and happiness. Spending time with the people, we love the most causes the brain to release chemicals that improve everyone’s mood and creates memories to last a lifetime.

Keep Reading: Your Kids Don’t Need a Perfect Mom, They Just Need a Happy One