In the ever-evolving world of dating, a new trend has emerged, shaking up traditional notions of love and partnership. Known as “throning,” this phenomenon sees individuals strategically forming relationships to boost their social status or achieve personal goals. Particularly popular among Generation Z, “throning” offers an intriguing, albeit controversial, look into how modern dating dynamics are influenced by ambition, social media, and shifting cultural values.
What Is ‘Throning’?
“Throning” refers to the practice of dating someone to elevate one’s social standing or reputation. While this concept may seem novel, it has been a part of human interaction for decades, albeit without a formal name. A study in Science Advances supports this trend, showing that dating app users often aim for partners who are roughly 25% more desirable than themselves.
Hollywood offers countless examples of throning. Scott Disick’s rise to fame through his relationship with Kourtney Kardashian and Sharon Osbourne’s evolution from managing Ozzy Osbourne’s band to becoming a TV personality underscore how leveraging a partner’s status is not new—just newly named.
Why Is ‘Throning’ Popular Among Gen Z?
Generation Z’s penchant for embracing innovation has made throning a cultural phenomenon. Human behavior expert Jo Emerson ties its rise to the influence of social media. “Through the power of social media, Gen Zers have seen how the average person can very much become rich, influential, and famous, and they dream of this for themselves,” Emerson said.
Unlike previous generations, where fame often stemmed from talent and luck, Gen Z perceives wealth and influence as accessible through online platforms. This shift has made leveraging relationships to gain social capital a seemingly logical step. Emerson adds, “Why not use another person’s capital to help you get there?”
Does Status-Driven Dating Hinder Growth?
While throning might open doors to ambition and self-improvement, it also brings risks. Kate Daly, a relationship expert and cofounder of amicable, points out both the potential advantages and downsides. “Relationships based on status can create unrealistic expectations, prioritizing external success over connection or compatibility,” Daly said.
This transactional approach may lead individuals to tie their self-worth to their partner’s achievements, fostering dependency or insecurity. However, Daly also sees potential benefits if approached mindfully. “It could inspire ambition or self-improvement, but the challenge lies in balancing aspirations with emotional authenticity,” she explained.
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What Are the Potential Downsides of Prioritizing Social Status Over Emotional Connection?
Throning comes with significant risks, particularly regarding the depth and resilience of relationships. Daly highlights the fragility of such partnerships, noting that “emotional bonds are critical for navigating life’s challenges.” Without a strong emotional connection, couples may struggle with trust, empathy, and intimacy.
Moreover, relationships built on status are vulnerable to external pressures like financial instability or public perception. “These pressures can erode the foundation of status-driven relationships,” Daly warned. Resentment can also creep in if one partner feels used or undervalued. “Over time, the highs may turn into lows, leaving individuals feeling unfulfilled and lonely,” Daly added.
Does Throning Affect Self-Esteem?
Beyond relationship dynamics, throning can negatively impact self-esteem. Emerson sees it as another form of objectification, where people risk basing their self-worth on external validation. “Short-term, someone who ‘wins’ a higher-status partner might feel a confidence boost, but this wears off when they realize they still feel ‘less than’ their partner,” Emerson said.
For the partner being throned, the experience can be equally damaging. “Imagine realizing someone chose you for your social capital,” Emerson added. This dynamic often plagues celebrities, who face the constant question of whether their relationships are genuine or status-driven.
Advice for Gen Z: Finding Genuine Connections
For those navigating the tricky waters of modern dating, Emerson offers sage advice: prioritize self-worth and genuine connections over external markers of success. “Climb your own social ladder, work on self-esteem, and choose partners based on mutual care and trust,” she urged. “Love is about giving, caring, and trust—none of which are on the agenda if you’re seeking someone to help influence your social standing.”
A Broader Shift in Societal Values
Throning reflects a broader shift in societal values, where ambition and social capital influence personal relationships. While it may offer short-term gains, the emotional and psychological costs raise critical questions about its sustainability. For Gen Z and others exploring this trend, the challenge lies in balancing aspirations with authenticity to ensure meaningful, lasting connections.
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