“I (18M) just graduated and gonna be starting community college in August,” OP begins his post. He had just started working full-time, going back to part-time once school began. However, his parents approached him about a month ago, before his 18th birthday to ask him about rent payment.
“My parents started talking about how they expect me to pay for rent then half the bills if I expect to stay there.” This is not too unusual for some parents to charge rent, but the worst was yet to come. For living in a single bedroom, they wanted him to pay enough rent for a whole apartment.
AITA for moving out after my parents expected rent payment for my room?
“The issue was they were expecting me to pay $1,300 a month for my tiny ass room that I share with my little brother. Not including the half of the bills they expected me to pay.” The OP adds that most of the apartments in the city cost around that much. But that’s the price of a whole apartment, not a small bedroom he shares with another person. “Most of my paycheck would just be going to that then.”
OP explained he was open to helping out financially and paying for his room if they lowered the rent payment. However, they refused to budge. “They said that’s how much they agreed on so that’s what I’d have to pay if I wanna keep staying there.”
So OP moved in with a friend who owned an apartment and was searching for a roommate. “He added me to the lease. My own room and bathroom, plus the total for rent and my half of the bills it’s like wayyyy less than the rent by itself that my parents expected me to pay.”
However, that was not the end of it. His parents were furious about his moving out. “My mom ignored me when I moved out, my dad kept saying how he’s so disappointed in me. For a while, they were hoping to rely on me with helping out with their mortgage payments on the house and also with the bills so now that I’ve chosen to leave instead my dad says I’m going to leave them really struggling and he can’t believe I decided to be selfish instead of helping my family out.” [1]
“That is Outrageous!”
Many comments were appalled at the parents who expected such an absurd rent payment from their young son.
“$1300 for one room would be a ripoff under the best of circumstances,” said the top comment. “For a parent to try to charge their barely-legally-an-adult son that amount of money for his freaking childhood bedroom is outrageous.” They added that the parents should “cut back on the avocado toast and get a second job” to pay for their own mortgage.
“His parents were just looking to take advantage and ease him into being the household breadwinner,” added another commenter.
Some comments added that it’s not a problem for a parent to charge rent payments based on prices in the area. But charging a high rent to pay for their mortgage from their son was extremely wrong. And many added that the parents showed their true colors when the son moved out and applauded the OP for calling their bluff.
One commenter asked the OP whose parents are on his phone plan and bank account. Fortunately, both are under the OP’s name. “I wanted to start new so nobody has access to my stuff except me,” he explained in the comments. It’s likely that this isn’t the first time his parents tried to dip into his personal savings. The comments added that he should make sure his parents do not have access to his social security card and birth certificate because they could use them to take out a loan in his name.
Signs of Financial Abuse
Although it’s impossible to verify a Reddit post, the situation presented sounds like financial abuse. See, most people think of verbal or physical attacks when it comes to abuse. But financial abuse can be just as painful in a different way. Financial abuse, like all abuse, is a way to gain power and control over the victim, but every situation looks different.
Signs of this include:
- Trying to control the victim’s use or access to the money they have earned or saved
- Using the victim’s money for personal uses without asking permission
- Feeling entitled to the victim’s money or assets
- Expecting the victim to pay for their own bills or purchases
- Expecting the victim to bail them out of financial issues
- Borrowing money and never paying it back
- Interfering with the victim’s job or work schedule
- Critisizing the victim’s every financial decision
- Threatening to cut off financials during disagreements [2]
There are many other methods of financial abuse, but several of these apply to the OP and his parents’ unreasonable rent payment request. Good on the OP for being independent, resourceful, and successful in finding a better place to live.
Keep Reading: People Slam Mom Who Charges Her Daughter Rent But Not Her Son
Sources
- “AITA for moving out of my parents house after they expected me to pay rent for my room?” Reddit. June 2021
- “How to Identify Financial Abuse in a Relationship.” Very Well Mind. Sherri Gordon. May 6, 2020