The relationship that a son shares with his mother is quite different from any other relationship. In fact, a child would even go up against their father if it means protecting their mother. Also, one can’t really find any sort of closure in estranged couples. When a husband separates from his wife, it would seem like one walked away with the proverbial goose.
But it is not really the case. Both parties hurt- just some hurt a little more. If there is a child in the relationship, they would grow up with resentment. And to be frank, it doesn’t matter if the child is young or old. Resentment can rear its head at any point. The fear of abandonment by their own parent- a curse that they would have to bear forever.
A Son and His Broken Family
Something that this 25-year-old son would never forget. In a r/AITA[1] post made by OP- u/iamabadassbitch a couple of years ago, one would find a son resenting his father. OP wrote that his parents were about to get divorced, “when my mother got diagnosed with a terminal illness. After the diagnosis, my father stalled the divorce proceedings.”
“My father filed for divorce after 26 years of marriage after he fell in love with his younger business partner. She recently gave birth to his child.”
What really affected the young man was the love his mother had for his father. And what stung more was that this love stayed even after her husband got another woman pregnant.
The Wrench In Their Plans
OP continued-
“In the middle of the divorce, she was diagnosed with a terminal illness and was only given a few months to live. All this time, we, her children have looked after her. I took her to her appointments and we paid for the treatment by taking loans We didn’t ask our father for money, even though he was willing to cover the expenses. Legally, at the time of her death, she was still married to my father.”
“During her last days, my father had to move to another city to be there for his daughter’s birth. My uncle made a Facebook post asking for blood donation and stated that she was critical. When my dad got to know about it, he immediately flew down to our city.”
Now, one needs to look at things from the son’s perspective. Here was a young guy who had to take care of his sick mother- quite possibly putting his dreams on hold. And the person who was supposed to do so- was in a different city. Sure, we won’t be blaming the father for divorcing the woman. But, we can’t stop feeling disappointed at his betrayal of her love.
The Son’s Revenge- Folly of Youth?
“When he showed up to the hospital, he was in a bad shape. His clothes were unkempt. He wanted to see my mother one last time. I told him that there was no use of that as she was unconscious. He begged and cried in front of everyone, I still didn’t allow him to meet her. My mother passed away the next morning. He still didn’t leave and wanted to be there for the funeral and memorial service. We banned him from attending.”
We can understand that this would be quite a blow to his father. But do we really blame the son here? The father didn’t just betray his wife. He also betrayed his own son by going to a different city to celebrate the birth of another daughter. Let us be clear on our stance. We are not blaming people for loving whoever they want. We are simply blaming people who would hurt others for love. That is simply unacceptable.
Read: Woman Wants Fiancé To Send His 4-Year-Old Away Or Put Her Up For Adoption Because She Gets On Her Nerves
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The Son Awaits Reddit’s Judgment
This begets the question- how did Reddit take it? As it stands, the jury was pretty divided on the actions of the son. On one hand, we have u/Daddyless_Princess, who stated:
“So let me get this straight. Your father cheated on you SAHM with a coworker, knocked her up, and decided to blindside your mother with a divorce and dip out to go be with his new family?”
“And then your mother fell into a horrible depression due to his betrayal and blatant disregard of HER feelings, stopped taking care of herself, discovered she had a terminal illness, and unfortunately passed away from it? Anyone saying OP is the a*****e needs to re-evaluate their thoughts and realize life isn’t a freaking Hallmark movie. It’s a proven fact that a terrible state of mind can worsen a terminal illness and his father’s betrayal probably had a lot to do with her deterioration during her illness.”
Everything that glitters isn’t gold
On the other hand, we also have u/DarkMarxSoul, who decided to play the devil’s advocate. He found the son guilty of being the a*****e:
“Going against the grain and saying YTA. What your father did was terrible, I won’t lie. But there is a limit to how far you can go in retaliation against others, and you crossed it. Firstly, your father had no way of knowing when he cheated and then filed for divorce that his wife had a terminal illness and that his actions would expedite that process.”
“In my view, he can’t be blamed for your mother’s fate even if he can be blamed for being selfish. Secondly, he also wasn’t absent from the situation entirely- he offered to foot the bill for the treatment, which is no small commitment especially if you’re American. He was involved in a way that he could be.”
We reiterate- we aren’t blaming the father for him falling out of love. We blame him for the timing, the action, and the place. Or maybe, it was just his fate to be embroiled in such a situation. The son, on the other hand, took a conscious decision to exclude his father from his life. Maybe it was a step taken in anger, or maybe he really wanted it that way.
In any case, this was a step taken too far- for either of them. And as we can see, Reddit has its opinions divided too. So, where do our readers fall? Is the son the a*****e? Or is it the father?
Keep Reading: Husband Asks If He’s Wrong for Not Wanting to Adopt a Child His Wife Conceived in an Affair
Source List:
- “AITA for not allowing my father to meet my dying mother at the hospital?” Reddit
Attention: While many of these stories are interesting, and we would love to take their word for it, the content in this article was taken from an unverifiable source (i.e., a Reddit forum). As such, we cannot guarantee that these events truly happened in the way that they are described in the original source.
