Many people struggle with self-confidence, whether they don’t know what the term means or because they lack faith in themselves and others. Furthermore, spouses can unwittingly cause more doubt and other issues for their partners. Fortunately, understanding the term’s meaning and how our behaviors affect those we love is easy.
What is Self-Esteem
Firstly, it’s a common misconception that self-esteem and self-confidence are the same thing and can be used interchangeably. While they have similar meanings they aren’t exactly the same. For instance, self-esteem refers to how one views their self-worth and the idea is “relatively stable and consistent,” according to Morris Rosenberg’s definition. Essentially, Roseberg’s definition of self-esteem refers to the steady and consistent way one views themselves.
What is Self-Confidence
Meanwhile, PositivePsychology explains that self-confidence is the “most used term for these related concepts outside of psychological research” and “believing in oneself.” When you’re confident in your ability to make decisions, you’re happier and more confident in others as well. As such, the actions of our spouse can significantly affect how we view ourselves. Here are some examples of “silent actions” that may hurt your wife or partner, and some helpful ways to combat the damage.
1. You don’t offer Praise
Life is full of obstacles and endless tasks, which can become overwhelming. One sure way to hinder your wife or partner’s self-confidence is to ignore the many things you love about them. For instance, they’ve come home from a long day at work and still made a delicious dinner but you don’t say anything about how much you enjoyed or appreciated the meal. Maybe you admire how organized and good at multitasking they are. Perhaps, you can’t take your eyes off of her while she’s getting dressed up for work. No matter what it is, big or small, conveying your love, attraction, and appreciation will help boost your partner’s self-confidence.
2. You Don’t Display Their Picture
Whether it’s in your wallet, on your desk, or a screensaver, displaying your wife’s picture is a subtle and sweet way to boost her self-confidence because she’ll know you’re proud to show her off to the world.
3. You Check out Other People
Interestingly, many people are divided when it comes to their definition of cheating. Some feel that infidelity occurs the moment someone flirts or looks admiringly at another person, while others believe an emotional connection or physical relationship defines cheating. Regardless, self-confidence is often wavering for someone whose partner is constantly interested in others. Therefore, showering her with love, praise, and affection so she knows she has nothing to worry about is an easy way to combat any concerns of causing harm to your wife’s self-confidence.
4. Lack of Cuddles Can Cause Low Self-Confidence
Crosswalk.com explains that another way to lower your wife or partner’s self-confidence is refraining from physical contact. Intimacy comes in many forms including cuddling, hugging, and talking. Without these, your wife or partner will wonder if you value their presence. Fortunately, an easy way to combat this is to provide affection. Preferably, hugs and snuggles but if you’re not a particularly affectionate person then gifts or words of affirmation can help boost your significant other’s self-confidence.
5. You Don’t React When Others are Involved
Another way to cause your partner or wife to have low self confidence is to seemingly be okay with other people coming on to them. While it’s not recommended to completely fly off the handle, feeling some response, and gently expressing that, will make your wife or partner know they’re desired by you.
Read More: 12 Signs You Are Not A Good Wife
6. You Don’t Spend Quality Time Together
Strengthening your bond is easy to do when couples spend quality time together, laughing and sharing things that bring them joy and peace. Conversely, self-confidence becomes weakened when you rarely make time for the other person because they start to wonder where they fall on your list of priorities.
Luckily, combating this concern is easy to do. Simply, set aside time every week to connect, even if it’s as simple as an impromptu coffee date.
7. Shockingly, Laziness can Cause Low Self-Confidence
While it might seem strange that your wife might take lack of motivation personally, laziness is another way you may cause your wife or partner to have low self-confidence, according to Bustle. The site explains that whether it’s contributing to household tasks, or simply being more attentive, not showing up for your wife will ultimately send the message that their needs aren’t significant.
8. Public Shaming Causes Low Self-Confidence
While occasionally making jokes about the other person’s habits is acceptable, it’s never a good idea to publicly shame them or tease them in the presence of others. Doing so can cause your wife or spouse to feel undermined, attacked, or thrown under the bus and embarrassed. Either way, you’ll likely hurt her, if not your relationship.
9. Questioning Choices Causes Low Self-Confidence
Showing concern for your partner’s wellbeing is normal but there’s a line between being thoughtful and simply having no faith in your partner’s judgment. As such, questioning their everyday choices like outfits or meals can lower self-esteem and lead to feelings of resentment.
10. You Undermine Their Decisions
Similarly, if you go the opposite route, after your wife has expressed her opinion she’ll likely grow to have less self-confidence. You can tackle this problem by hearing her feelings on the matter, taking them into account, and working together to find a solution or happy medium for both parties.
Combating Harmful Behaviors
While there are many other behaviors that impact how our partners view themselves, some not listed, there are some easy ways to boost your wife’s self-confidence and some helpful tools to help everyone feel more confident and comfortable with themselves and in their relationships. Here are some examples:
- Above all: Communicate with and treat each other with mutual respect and compassion.
- Remember that you’re a team and you should be encouraging and supporting each other, rather than competing or tearing each other down.
- Next, treat her how you hope to be treated, with kindness, loyalty, and joy, so she’ll always have self-confidence, and feel confident in your relationship and connection to one another.
- Lastly, give her tools to help herself
Encouraging Self-Love
In nearly all cases, a person rarely sets out to hurt someone they love. Therefore, most husbands only ever hope to help their wives feel loved and supported so it’s disheartening when your wife, partner, or spouse is unable to see themselves as magnificently as you see them. Moreover, they may struggle with self-confidence issues, and it may have very little to nothing to do with you. For instance, they’re healing from childhood trauma or things that happened later in life. Although your support and encouragement can help, here are some practices she can try on her own that have been shown to boost self-confidence, and in some cases esteem.
Easy to Do Self-Confidence Builders
- Stand or sit a little taller and straighter.
- Try mindfulness practices like breathing or focusing on all the sensations of your body.
- Eat healthily, exercise, and sleep regularly.
- Try to reframe your stress so that you feel excited about facing the day, rather than angst. For instance, rather than feeling anxious about presenting your PowerPoint during a meeting, focus on all the skills you get to showcase and what you, your hard work, time, and dedication created!
- Take a few minutes every day to relax your mind and body and focus on having improved self-confidence, see and feel yourself appreciating everything there is to love about you. Lastly, be gentle with yourself and others.
Being Gentle Can Improve Self-Confidence
Many insecurities and doubts stem from childhood trauma and worsen with different experiences throughout life. As such, it may take some time to feel self-confidence but there are a few things to remember: no one is perfect, and no one has it all figured out. Forgive yourself and others for mistakes, learn from them, and move forward feeling more empowered and at peace!
Read More: When A Man No Longer Loves His Wife, It’s Easy To See These Signs