A family is usually the first place we turn to for rest and care. From the time our parents raise us with love and affection to when we build our own families, it is a place of utmost trust. Unfortunately, that is not the case for every family. For some, their families become their most traumatic connections.
For Reddit user u/Born-Problem-8280, a traumatic connection with the family is a reality. She came to the r/AITA subreddit to figure out if there was something she did wrong. However, in a rare case, every commenter on OP’s post was of the same opinion. Here’s her story first.
Family Relations Were Strained Right From The Start
OP’s story begins 9 years ago when she was only 19 years old. Her parents were extremely religious. However, she managed to go to her chosen college after fighting for it tooth and nail. Nevertheless, her parents refused to pay her college fees because of that. After that, her financial problems crept in:
“When I did that they said they will not be paying for my schooling until I “come back to the right path”. After struggling for a couple of months a friend told me that the strip club she was working at was hiring. I have been dancing my whole life and have a good figure so I was hired pretty fast.
A few months in I dropped out of college because I was making serious money (about $3k for a bad week and up to $11k for a really good one). When my parents found out they disowned me. The same goes for all of my extended family except for 2 cousins.”
-Reddit
An absolutely horrible decision for OP who was trying to stand on her own two feet. Nevertheless, she did quite well without her family. 9 years after the incident, she owns a house without any debts, a Tesla, as well as properties that she rents out. Of course, she has long left her job at the strip club.
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The Parents Came Calling Once More
The days were going by just fine for OP when her parents contacted her. They had called to ask for her help as they were in extremely dire straits:
“Apparently my father lost his business during COVID, my mom has always being a SHM, they declared bankruptcy and are really struggling (they live in an old camper). Also apparently my mom is diabetic now and my dad has always had heart problems. They wanted my help.”
-Reddit
What should OP have done in this situation? Should she have given her parents the help they requested just because they were family? Should she have forgotten and forgiven all the hurt that her “family” put her through?
Well, OP thought otherwise. Also, they had already disowned her, so she believed that she had no parents:
“I said no, I don’t have parents anymore. And furthermore according to their religion and church my money was earned while sinning so to use it is to damn your soul to hell and I really didn’t want that for them. My mom started crying and my dad said that they didn’t know where they went wrong with me.”
-Reddit
Her parents never contacted her again. She got some news from her other aunts and uncles. However, when she questioned them as to why they weren’t helping out, they stopped contacting her as well. Nevertheless, after a week, OP began to feel bad because she could have spared more than enough money without any trouble. But she withheld it because of her past memories.
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The Opinion Was Unanimous
Even if OP began to feel bad, Reddit users had a uniform opinion: “NTA”. The decision was so unanimous that the subreddit has been tagged as “decided as NTA”.
The top voted opinion was extremely supportive but comically sarcastic at the same time:
“Hi! Former conservative Christian homeschool child turned pagan lesbian witch here! I also don’t talk to my parents, but wasn’t smart enough to get into stripping while I was young enough for it to be profitable! You have absolutely NO obligation to help them if you don’t want to.
BUT if it’s going to gnaw at you to not help them and it’s not going to be a hardship TO help them, consider this. Under their belief system, you are now an evil sinning child who is making money in a terrible way. And your refusal to help them only confirms their opinion of you. Which is fine, it really doesn’t matter what they think.
But if you still feel bad and also want to fuck with their heads… help them and ask them to reconcile the fact that you are the fallen one but you had more compassion for them in their time of need than they, the god-fearing saints, had for you in yours. Or don’t, but feel good about it. Either way, they don’t deserve you guilting yourself over them.”
–u/No_Rope_8115
Most of the other comments were of the same vein. What do you think OP should have done or should do? Let us know in the comments.
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Source List:
- “AITA for refusing to help my parents even if they end up homeless with serious medical conditions?.” Reddit. April 2022.
