woman on bus wearing mask

Pregnant woman branded ‘lazy’ for refusing to give up bus seat for older lady

Public transport has reserved seats for those who live with disabilities. But that does not come with any list of what kind of disability ranks higher. In fact, it should not even be a question. Plus, both a pregnant woman and an elderly person can claim the right to have these seats. But what if one of them asks the other for the seat? Does either need to do so?

Well, that’s what one young pregnant woman faced while traveling by bus. In the end, she had refused to give it up which had left her wondering if she did something mean. To get the opinion of the internet on the matter, u/BusSeat_1234 came to the AITA subreddit.

The Pregnant Woman Had A Long Day

The story begins with the pregnant woman introducing herself as a 26-year-old who was pregnant for 18 weeks at the time. She was also returning after working for 8 hours. To add to that, she also had some heavy bags with her. All this made her take the seat below the stairs.

At around the halfway point in her journey, an elderly woman got on the bus:

The bus emptied fairly quickly after a few stops and filled up again about half way through the journey. This is where the problem started, an older lady with a stick got on the bus and well she asked me to move. She wasn’t even polite when she asked and honestly I thought she meant move over so she could sit next to me. So I moved my bags and started to scoot over, when she “No, No I meant can you find another seat, this seat is reserved for disabled people. You are clearly not disabled. There are plenty of seats upstairs”


The pregnant woman clarified in her post that the seats were not priority ones. Furthermore, there was an empty one among the ones that were actually reserved. It was also just in front of her seat. As such, the pregnant woman logically refused, saying:

Sorry, I really don’t feel safe going up the stairs with all these bags, I don’t mind you sitting next to me though, we both have our masks on.

But the older woman would not have it. She replied harshly:

I don’t want to sit next to anybody, I don’t feel safe. So move your lazy fat behind and give the seat to someone who needs it

She Hated Saying ‘No’

This left the poster with no option but to explain her situation while refusing even more sternly:

Lady I am pregnant, I am not going up those stairs with these bags and risking a fall. If you really want a seat to yourself ask someone else to move

However, she did clarify that she hated what she did. She did not like people using the excuse of pregnancy and nor did she like confrontation.

Nevertheless, the older lady did get a seat almost immediately:

Before anymore could be said a man across from me said to the lady “Here Love, have my seat” He got up let her sit down and went upstairs, but not before giving me a dirty look. The lady spent the next 10-15 minutes talking with the other oldies on the bus about how the kids these days have no respect for their elders or people with disabilities, or how they would have never have spoken to someone like in their day.

The exchange has left the pregnant woman thinking that she may have come off as an entitled person. However, is that really the case?

Pandemics Aren’t An Excuse To Be Rude

Almost all of the replies to the post say that the pregnant woman was NTA (not the a**hole). Some of them were critical of the elderly person for assuming that age automatically deserves respect. Age is never an excuse for being rude:

“NTA. You should’ve pointed out where the disabled seats were. Also, f*ck older people who think their age entitles them to respect…they’re usually the ones lacking manners.

Edited to add:

I’d like to point out, I did not say “fck all older people”…I’m just sick of the ones who think their age is an excuse to be rude. It’s the same as the ones who say, “It’s just the way I’ve always been” or “That’s just how my generation is”

Also, I’m sick of elderly people who think being older entitles them to respect, but they refuse to give respect to younger people just because they’re young.”

NinjaBabaMama | Reddit

Other comments talked about how the pregnant woman talked politely enough and explained the full situation in detail. That should have been enough for anyone to understand:

1. “Not all disabilities are visible. The comment about you clearly not being disabled was ignorant, at best. And even if you were disabled and in the designated seats, you would not have owed her an explanation.

2. You are pregnant and you told her this. End of story. Random stranger lady doesn’t need to know more.

3. There was at least one open seat nearby, and you pointed it out. That she didn’t want the open seat does not make it your problem.

Older lady sounds entitled and argumentative and likely accustomed to getting her way. Good for you for not giving in.


Lorange99 | Reddit

We agree that the pandemic has made us fearful of being near anyone else. But that definitely does not mean we can be rude to a fellow person who is struggling just as much. So what do you think? Let us know in the comments!

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