10. “Why can’t you be more like [insert name]?”
Comparison never really feels good, and this one hits hard depending on when and how you say it. If you’re annoyed in the moment and blurt it out during a disagreement, it can come off as deeply insulting. It tells your partner he isn’t measuring up and makes it sound like you wish he were someone else. But even in calmer moments, this kind of comparison can plant seeds of insecurity. You might think you’re being harmless, especially if you’re referring to a celebrity or public figure, but it still makes him feel like he’s second-best. Instead of calling someone else out by name, try focusing on qualities you admire. Say, “I really appreciate when people stay calm under pressure,” rather than “Why can’t you be like Matt?” That way, you’re communicating without cutting him down. Highlight the power of encouragement over criticism.
