If your son decides you’re uninvited to his wedding, your family has a lot of issues that need to be dealt with. In a recent post on r/AITA, a father posted about how his son decided not to invite him, his wife, and his daughter to his wedding. The post begins like this:
“My wife and I bought a four bedroom house in PA that my son lives in. Our son went to College in PA and wanted to stay in the area. So we bought the house as a second home, we live in NJ and commute to Manhattan for work. We figured that he would have a place to live and we could visit every so often and spend some quality time together. We pay the taxes and services/maintenance on the house, our son pays for his groceries and the house utilities. All was going well for a few years, our son meets a girl and they get serious. We met her and she seems nice enough. They announce their engagement and she moves into the house with our son. Now for the problem: The wedding !!!”
Parents Uninvited Because They “Are Not Good Enough”
Till now, everything seems to be going well. But then came the bombshell in the form of the son’s in-laws. And let’s just say- they really used the son as a marionette for their own ideas. The post continues…
“We hold a little get to know you BBQ at the PA house, my son and daughter are there, as are our sons fiancé and her parents, and sisters. We all seem to be getting along well, my wife, daughter and the fiancé go into the house along with her mother an sisters and my son. A few minutes later my wife and daughter come out and are really upset. They come over and tell me we’re leaving and driving back to NJ. I try to find out what happened.
Once we get back to NJ and they calmed down they tell me that our son and his fiancé along with her family don’t want us at the wedding. According to what I was told “We’re not their kind of people”. I was livid, I called my son and asked him WTH this was about. He tells me that her family feel that we are not good enough and will embarrass them at a family wedding and that we are all uninvited from the wedding.”
What Can Be Considered Enough?
What does ‘not being good enough’ even imply? And how could the son just stand there and watch as his fiancé’s family insulted his family? No self-respecting individual would ever bear his family and his own parents getting mocked by someone’s family he was supposed to call his own. But kudos to OP, who did manage his temper fine enough that he wanted to have a civil discussion with his son.
“I let a week go by to calm myself down and drive back to the PA house, the new future in-laws are in the house along with the fiancé. It appears that they all moved into the house They ask me why I’m there, I tell them that since we aren’t invited to the wedding, I was coming over to talk to my son. They tell me to leave their house. I lost it, and told them that they had 30 days to get out. Tell my son I’m selling the house and he could find somewhere else to live with all of you. I go to a realtor in town and list the house for sale.”
At this point, can we really blame OP for this? The son and his in-laws made the bed, and now they must sleep on it. The only point of contention would be that the relationship between the son and his parents was probably destroyed beyond repair. But honestly- would anyone want such a dysfunctional and toxic relationship in the first place? OP was well within his rights to do what he did- throwing his adult-yet-juvenile son and his fiance’s family out of his own registered household.
OP Decided To Kick His Son and Son’s Fiance’s Family Out Of OP’s House
“They call my son at work and tell him what I said. Apparently they thought that he owned the house. He calls me and asks why I’m selling his house, I tell him I paid for it along with the taxes on it and it is mine. He was living there rent free, but since he doesn’t want us in his new life, he has to get out. I tell him the same as I told his future in-laws they have 30 days to get out then I’ll get a lawyer and get them evicted.”
OP decided to post on r/AITA and asked the posters for their opinion regarding the entire debacle which started with the parents getting uninvited to the son’s wedding. u/poppycorn144 commented, “What kind of people do they think you are? How was your son ok with excluding his whole family? Do you think your son’s been brainwashed by his fiance? How did he think the house was ‘his’ when he didn’t pay the taxes on it?”
Another poster, u/happy_meow had some legitimate legal advice for OP. They said, “You don’t need a lawyer in 30 days, you need one NOW. I am not familiar with PA tenant laws etc., but you need to follow everything by the book so that they can’t contest anything. I would also go back and video tape, with time stamp, the entire property, inside and out, so they can be held accountable for any damage done.”
Maybe The Parents Have A Point?
u/Bai_Cha had a different perspective on this- “If it were me personally, I would extend the son the benefit of the doubt for now (this could change given more information). There is a chance that he is being taken advantage of. We don’t know the full story, but he could be a sweet, gullible guy who fell in love with a woman with an abusive family, and is more like the victim of abuse, than he is the perpetrator. Personally, if I were the father in this situation, I would do everything I could to provide son emotional support and kind-hearted guidance. Of course it was a good and necessary thing to remove everyone from the house. But I’m not sure that I would cut the son off quite yet. I’d try to figure out if there was abuse-type manipulation happening.”
Regardless of what steps the father takes toward the son, they do need to keep the tenant policies as their priority for now. Once that dust settles, they can deal with the son and solve all the misunderstandings or miscommunications- if there are any. What do you think? Let us know in the comments.
Keep Reading: My fiance wants me to wear red to our wedding because I’m not a virgin
- “AITA for throwing them out of a house that we own. Son and future In-Laws decide to exclude his family from wedding. They thought son owned the house not us.” Reddit. 2022.
- “Son excludes mum from wedding as she’s ‘not good enough’ – so parents sell his house.” Mirror. Amber O’Connor. February 11, 2023.
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