silhouette of sad woman sitting by a window
Leah Berenson
Leah Berenson
June 14, 2024 ·  3 min read

‘I left my husband for a man who didn’t want me’

There are times, in the midst of life’s chaos, when you may have fantasized about leaving your husband, running away with the hot mailman, or the sexy firefighter who lives next door. Maybe your wildest fantasy is to run away to a beach and spend some time reflecting in hopes of self-discovery. While some people are happy with their lives and jokingly make these wishes when life gets tough, Amanda Trenfield had a different outcome. The Australian native left her husband of 14 years, and after a major heartbreak, pursued a life of self-discovery. She now provides her services and support to women everywhere. Let’s take a look at the story, that led her here.

An Introduction

Amanda Trenfield was once a purposeless wife and mother, with a career in financial services. She spent 20 years in the profession and began to struggle with finding joy and maintaining balance in her life. Unexpectedly, she met a man that she believed to be her soulmate. The two met at a dinner for a work conference, where she also happened to be accompanied by her husband. After 14 years of marriage, Amanda realized there had to be more to life and chose to leave her husband behind in pursuit of the things that brought joy to her life.

Read: ‘My Wife Of 52 Years Just Died. My Grief Is So Overwhelming, I Can Barely Cope’

Image Credit: Amanda Trenfield | Instagram

Is the Grass Greener

If you’re leaving your husband or have the plan to do so, be sure it absolutely is the best choice for you. If you break up your family for the sake of someone else, you may find yourself feeling let down or worse, beating yourself up.

Amanda ended the marriage and reached out to her “soulmate” a month later. Originally, he agreed to meet with her when she came to his area to attend a funeral. However, the following day she received an email from him stating he no longer wanted to get together. “The next morning, I received a message. It was brief, unemotive.

He’d thought about my proposition and decided it wouldn’t be a good idea for us to catch up or stay in touch. He declared he didn’t want to ‘mess with my situation’. Oh, and as a final sign-off he said, ‘look after yourself’. I was devastated.” she details in her memoir.

Read: Influencer who divorced her husband and married her step-son is having another baby with him

Heartbreak Leads to Immense Healing

Unsurprisingly, she still hadn’t heard from him by the end of her trip to town. Nonetheless, the devastation was hard-hitting as she sat at the airport waiting for her flight back home. She wrote in her journal that she was heartbroken but knew she had to carry on. After all, she had children whom she loved, and responsibilities to tend to. For the next two years, she detailed her recovery process and the beginning stages of her journey to self-discovery.

Breaking the Constraints of Society

Amanda’s first phase of healing was the rediscovery of the things she loved. She then moved on to spiritual discovery. This gave her perspective to understand the connection she felt to the man she thought was her “soulmate”, the man for whom she’d left her husband. Another key element to her healing journey was an examination.

She reevaluated her friendships and relationship with the opposite sex. Additionally, she took a look inside herself to undo the conditioning she’d experienced in life. Amanda had come to realize that while leaving your husband would be frowned upon, it was worth it to be able to discover her true values and desires. The conditioning she had been taught, left her feeling incomplete without a partner.

In Pursuit to Change the World

Amanda turned the documentation of her 2-year healing into a book. The book titled, “When a Soulmate Says No” is available now for women everywhere who may be struggling with the idea of leaving their husbands. In her Memoir, she provides tips and insight into how she broke free from societal expectations to pave her own path. At the height of the pandemic, she traded her 20-year career for something that gave her a deeper sense of purpose.

Amanda is now a life coach for women directly in Syndey but also offers online sessions to women worldwide.

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