“I messed Up” Husband Surprised That Wife’s Life is Way Better After Marriage Ends

Relationships are challenging and become more so with a child involved. While parents love their children more than anything, a child can significantly shift the marriage dynamics and make things harder. One couple struggled to reconnect after parenthood and the former husband turned to Reddit to share how having a baby ended his marriage and discuss his emotional turmoil now that his ex has moved on and is happy.

Sharing a Sad Tale

Puzzleheaded_No3393 posted in a popular subreddit called “TrueOffMyChest”, his experience and regret after divorce. He recounts a thorough explanation of the events that unfolded. He starts by sharing: “I’m not looking for pity or understanding here. I know I’m not going to get it. Me and my ex-wife have a 14-month-old son. After he was born, our marriage fell apart.” He then explains that she felt he wasn’t “pulling his weight”. Meanwhile, he claims she expected him to know what she wanted done without any communication.

He further explained that each person has moved into a new, separate apartment, and they alternate weeks with their son. However, he soon found the pressures of being a single parent more difficult than marriage. He explained that he was drowning and exhausted the week with his son, and trying hard to play catch up on the weeks between. Hoping his son’s mom would feel similar struggles, he approached her to call off the divorce. However, she isn’t in the same boat.

In contrast, she’s happier now and more rested. She told him she realized it’s easier to take care of 1 person instead of 2, according to the now struggling single father. He acknowledges that he could have been a better husband stating that he “hates” himself.

Read More: 7 Things That Can End Relationships and Unknowingly Lead to Divorce

Supporting the Ex-Wife

Numerous people commented on his post, most in support of the ex-wife. One person questioned: “‘She didn’t tell me what to do’ She’s your son’s mom, not YOUR mom. You’re both adults. Why should she have to tell you what to do?”

“Seems like you only want your wife back because you don’t want to put in the work raising your son. Never do you mention how much you love your wife or miss her, no you just want to go back to being lazy and don’t really seem that apologetic. I’m sorry but this whole post focuses on how this all affects you not recognizing the hurt you caused your wife.” Commented another.

“I stopped reading after “she expected me to know what to do with telling me”. Who was telling her how to be an adult?? You need to grow the h**l up!” Exclaimed another. The post has nearly 3,000 comments and more than 6,000 upvotes, with people everywhere pointing out that this guy may not have his priorities in order. While people on Reddit had much to say about the story, experts have also weighed in.

Expert Opinion

Nia Williams is a Relationship Therapist and Life Coach from Miss Date Doctor. She sat down with Bored Panda to share their expert opinions regarding the now-single father and his predicament. Unsurprisingly, both experts acknowledge that having a child changes your life and relationship. In some cases, a baby may help strengthen the bond and bring couples closer together. Alternatively, and more commonly, a baby makes things harder for couples and takes much more planning, energy, and time.

Read More: 8 Things That Predict Divorce, According to Science

Balance Stress

“It’s very common for couples to experience challenges in balancing responsibilities after the arrival of a baby,” Nia shared. “This period often brings significant changes to the dynamics of a relationship, as both partners navigate the demands of caring for a newborn while juggling other responsibilities. The adjustments can indeed take a big toll on the relationship as couples may find themselves feeling so overwhelmed, exhausted, and stretched thin becoming so irritable.”

“Sleep deprivation, changes in routine, and shifting priorities can all contribute to heightened stress levels and potential conflicts between partners,” she added.

Listen to Each Other

Nia notes another issue with the scenario mentioned above. She points out that another mistake made by the husband was “disregarding” his former wife. “Listening to your partner when they express concerns about [the] unequal distribution of responsibilities is crucial for maintaining a healthy relationship,” Nia shared. “Ignoring or dismissing their feelings can lead to resentment and further strain the relationship.”

Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Next, she notes that teamwork is the only sure way to keep a marriage happy and healthy through the changes that come with parenthood. “To address this, it’s important to engage in honest and empathetic communication. This involves actively listening to your partner’s perspective, acknowledging their feelings, and working together to find solutions that feel fair and balanced for both parties,” she said.

Single Moms might be Happier

Last, she points out that although it isn’t “universal”, some moms have an easier time being single parents because they don’t have to “compromise.” Several studies have reflected that numerous women are happier being single, whether or not they have kids. However, factors are “unique to each individual” and people have varying preferences. “Single parenting also comes with its own set of challenges and stresses, including financial strain, lack of support, and feelings of loneliness,” she added.

There are numerous things to consider when becoming a spouse or a parent. These huge milestones take work, empathy, compatibility, and patience. They require couples to compromise and listen to one another. Ideally, both parties do all they can to work together and ensure everyone’s needs are being met.

Read More: Woman sues ex for child support 50 years after divorce, is awarded $150K