You might think some of these Hollywood superstars are the biggest catches, but in reality, there is often a lot more to their relationships than meet the eye. Look at Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher, for example. The pair split in 2011 after a six-year marriage, and their time together was far from peachy and far more toxic than you’d ever expect.
The pair met in 2003, and of course, their age gap gave the world a lot to talk about.
Nonetheless, Moore thought she’d found her perfect match, her soul mate. Ashton was 25 at the time and Demi was already 40. In her Biography, Demi expressed: “He was 25. I was 40. But I’m telling you: we couldn’t feel it. We were totally in sync, from our very first conversation.” The pair tied the knot in 2005 in front of 100 friends and family, including ex-husband Bruce Willis and their daughters Rumer, Scout, and Tallulah. Sadly, their marriage was in shambles six years later.
Turns out, Ashton cheated
And, it was not just any woman that Kutcher was unfaithful with. It was a younger one, much younger than Demi. “I remember the night they met,” Demi recalled. “We were at a bowling alley with Rumer and when he went to switch out our shoes, she gave him her number on a napkin. Or that’s what he told me at the time. When we got home that night, and he showed it to me, I said, ‘That is just gross. We were there with our kid!’ I had a visceral response – It was revulsion. So the fact that he pursued her felt like a real ‘f*ck you.’”
That was not the only issue or rumor that spread, Kutcher was allegedly unfaithful with two women at the same time.
It was just a few days after their six-year wedding anniversary that they announced their separation. Demi says that the rumors were true. I asked if it was true. And he admitted it right away. I think my response was: are you f***ing kidding me? I felt like I could barely take a breath. Writing in her book, Demi says that the pair actually did try some “fun in the bedroom” too – including a threesome or two. She also says her agreeing to these acts was purely because she wanted to be the wife Kutcher wanted her to be. She wanted to fit in and make him happy.
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If that doesn’t spell toxic, we don’t know what does
According to Demi, his extramarital affairs were blamed on the fact that Demi had allowed them to explore in the bedroom, so he blamed her for his actions. So when he expressed his fantasy of bringing a third person into our bed, I didn’t say no. I wanted to show him how great and fun I could be […] They were good people, but it was still a mistake. I was strangely flooded with shame, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this whole thing was somehow my fault.
Sadly, Kutcher was more than just a cheater, he was an enabler.
He encouraged Demi to start drinking again. Demi had troubles in her past with both alcohol and substance abuse. Still, Demi did not entirely blame Ashton for her relapse. Even when things got scary. I wanted to be that girl. The girl who could have a glass of wine at dinner, or do a tequila shot at a party. In my mind, Ashton wanted that, too.
At 42, Demi had a miscarriage at six months and had attributed it to her drinking problem.
It was my fault, I felt for sure: if only I hadn’t opened the door to drinking, I never would have lost the baby. Even worse, I was still smoking when I found out I was pregnant, and it took me a few weeks to quit completely. I was wracked with guilt and convinced what had happened was my doing. Demi and Ashton went through more than any couple should endure, especially Demi. She still came out on top, and describes in her book how she managed to survive the toxicity. Being single, and being single by choice, is one way she feels empowered.
The Bottom Line
She no longer feels that she needs to please men to be happy herself. I belong. Here. In myself. In this house. On this planet. I’m in my mid-50s now, I’ve outlived both of my parents, I know that what I walked through was a lot, especially coming from where I came from. The truth is, the only way out is in.
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Sources