Brittany Hambleton
Brittany Hambleton
February 2, 2024 ·  4 min read

This Is Why It’s Completely Fine To Cut Off Toxic Family Members From Your Life

In my opinion, there is nothing more challenging and heartbreaking than having to end the connection and distance yourself from a loved one. Family ties are some of the strongest bonds anyone has in their entire life. Whether you are family by blood or family by choice, everyone has certain people they consider to be family. Family is supposed to always be there for you and you never expect your family to hurt you. However, some family members can be more destructive and damaging than anyone else. When this sacred bond is broken, it can leave a lasting wound. The truth is, some people are simply too toxic for you to be around and you need to move on without them.

Read: Why Toxic People Will Never Admit They’re Wrong

Don’t be ashamed for deciding to put yourself first

Angry young woman has disagreement with annoyed old mother in law, grown daughter arguing fighting quarreling with senior elderly mom, different age generations bad relations family conflict concept
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Never put your physical, mental, or emotional well-being on the line just because someone is “family.” So, how do you know how to spot a toxic family member? Pay attention to these five warning signs!

1. They feed off drama

Argument between annoyed Asian teenage daughter and upset middle aged mother. The child covering ears while mum pointing finger at. Bad, unhealthy, toxic family relationship concept
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Have you ever decided to turn to a family member for some advice or shared some of your deepest fears with someone you trusted? You expose your vulnerabilities in hopes of receiving some sort of assistance in a time of need. Then you find out they have completely betrayed you and now everyone knows your secrets. This is the ultimate betrayal, especially when it comes from a close family member or trusted friend.

2. They judge you

Discontented Senior Couple Talking To Camera Disapproving Criticizing Something Sitting Together On Sofa At Home. Displeased Customers. Communication Problems With Older Parents
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Constructive criticism is extremely healthy and a required part of every relationship. However, repeated, aggressive, and degrading criticism can affect a person’s self-confidence on a very deep level. Family members that are overly judgmental and controlling are definitely toxic and you have no need to feel bad about removing yourself from their presence.

3. They are only there for you if it somehow benefits them.

Woman Crying Fighting with Her Best Friend Outdoors. Unhappy emotional girl disagreeing with her sister
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A toxic family member will only decide to help you if they have something to gain. Normally, they will come to you for advice or assistance, but as soon as you give them what they need, they will choose to distance themselves from you once again. What happens when you need their support and love? They’re nowhere to be found. They know how to manipulate you. Do you want to stress less, sleep better, and feel abundantly happier… without drugs or anything crazy?

Read: 5 Signs You Grew Up in a Toxic Family and Might Need Some Time Apart From Them

4. They go back and forth between positive and negative comments.

Teenage girl in difficult mood with angry mom.
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One moment they’re praising you and supporting your efforts and the next they’re insulting you and judging every move you make. They can’t tolerate it when you ignore their efforts, so they do everything in their power to regain control of your attention. It is nearly impossible for them to give up their manipulative behavior.

5. They often use a nefarious manipulation technique, referred to as gaslighting.

Annoyed grown up daughter expressing complaints to elderly mother annoyed females sit on couch, old stubborn mom dont want make concessions, different ages, generational gap, family conflict concept
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If you know someone who claims that they never did or said something when you and everyone else around know that’s a lie… you are being gaslighted. Gaslighting is a technique based on planting seeds of doubt in the mind of the victim in an attempt to make them feel helpless and question their own sanity and memory.

Read: The Sunday Family Dinner Is Nearly Obsolete, But it’s One That’s Worth Bringing Back

Chances are, you might have a family member that matches the description above

Head shot stressed confused young mixed race woman sitting in sofa separately with offended husband, ignoring each other after conflict quarrel, marriage relationship misunderstanding problem.
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If so, they are a threat to your mental health. Toxic relationships, even with family and friends, can have a major impact on your overall well-being. Just because you have identified a toxic relationship, that doesn’t mean you should give up on that person. There are many things you can do to make a toxic family member more tolerable. However, the best solution will always be to remove them from your life. It is not always an easy task, especially if that toxic person is a parent.

If the situation has escalated to a point where it has become impossible for you to be happy

Upset adult daughter ignoring not listening to senior old strict mother in law arguing moralizing scolding controlling showing authority to stubborn young woman, different generation conflict
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You have no choice but to eliminate that person from your life. No matter how beneficial removing this person from your life might have been, there will still be feelings of guilt, loss, pain, and doubt about the decision. You must be willing to make this sacrifice in order to protect your emotions. Sometimes you have to experience pain to protect yourself. You will also need time to recover and heal. Remember to always take care of yourself! If you found this article helpful, please don’t be afraid to SHARE it with your family and friends on Facebook!

Keep Reading: Mom Delivers Epic Rant After Forgetting to Pack Her Own Clothes on a Family Trip.