Michael and Stephanie were engaged to be married and expecting a baby boy. When Stephanie started leaking amniotic fluid at 18 weeks pregnant, they feared the worst for their unborn child. They rushed to the hospital where they were told their baby’s heart was too big. Michael shares the gut-wrenching moment when he was asked to choose between his baby and his fiance. Deciding who would survive is not something anyone wants to experience.
Unborn Child or Fiance?
Michael Gerry Fotheringham McConnell and Stephanie Brown were expecting their unborn child’s pregnancy to be smooth. However, at 18 weeks their world was shaken when Stephanie, 29, started leaking amniotic fluid. Michael, 33, rushed her to the hospital where they were told his body was too small for his heart. The heart specialist said that Stephanie would have to keep him inside her womb for another six weeks.
Michael said that the doctor has pulled him aside to ask him one of the most difficult questions. “The doctor that would deliver took me to one side and asked, ‘If push comes to shove, who survives? Mom or the baby?‘” said Michael. This was a gut-wrenching moment for Michael. He said: “When I learned my fiancée’s life was in danger, my heart froze — all I cared about at that moment was her being OK.”
Stephanie was recommended to birth her unborn child via cesarean. In short, this would avoid any complications resulting from the placenta being attached to Stephanie’s stomach. Mickey was born weighing 1.3lbs, which is just under a bag of sugar. This was a major concern. He was kept in the neonatal intensive care unit, and three months later Mickey was transported to a facility closer to his parent’s home.
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“We have been there for each other”
Michael and Stephanie had been looking forward to bringing their baby home, and they were under the impression that would be “soon”. But, Mickey’s health suddenly took a turn for the worse. According to the doctors, his lungs had not developed properly and were now too small for his body. “The doctors in the hospital were calling it ‘blue turns’ and were saying that he might not make it.
Michael expressed his appreciation for his fiance. She went from dealing with the fear of carrying their unborn child while leaking amniotic fluid, to juggling the stress of his survival with their home life. “Since having Mickey, she’s been amazing and has given that little baby much of her love and time, all while having home life to deal with, she’s truly inspirational,” said Michael, referring to his fiance. “She hasn’t stopped with her efforts, but I try my very best to make her life as easy as it can be in these traumatic times.”
He went on to talk about the exhaustion they felt, which is something most new parents understand all too well. But, Michael and Stephanie have the added worry of their newborn’s survival. “This has been physically, mentally, and emotionally draining, as we’ve had sleepless nights and traumatic days – but we have been there for each other,” said Michael. The support we’ve received has been nothing short of amazing and we’re totally overwhelmed. I am organizing a number of fundraising events to help raise money and awareness for families in situations likes ours.” A GoFundMe page was set up in the family’s honor to help with funeral costs and help ease the cost of living.
Tribute to their unborn child
Mickey went from being an unborn child to diving into a world when his body was not prepared to survive. Michael paid a tribute to his baby boy, who passed away in July 2022. “He fought a long and complicated fight, he died peacefully and painless in his mom’s arms,” wrote Michael. “He was the brightest star I’ve ever known. I’ll never forget the impact my boy made on this earth, he truly was a warrior. He was suffering, now he’s at peace, shine bright my wee warrior. Lastly, rest in peace our beautiful son.”
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Sources
- “I was forced to choose between my baby or his mom’s life.” New York Post. August 1, 2022
- “Dad’s ‘heart froze’ when asked to choose between fiancée and unborn baby.” Mirror UK. Katie Dollard. August 8, 2022.