White is the traditional color for bridal gowns, but this woman wanted something unique for her wedding. Inspired by the Waterhouse painting of Ophelia, she planned to wear a blue wedding dress with hints of gold and red. It would be something truly special for her big day. Except her family didn’t think so and everyone went up in arms over her choice. To make matters worse, her father keeps asking her “if it’s worth tearing a family apart for a dress that I’ll only wear for one day.”
A Family Rift Over Blue Wedding Dress
The post begins with the OP describing her dream blue wedding dress. To be more precise, Ophelia’s dress from Waterhouse’s painting. “It’s a gorgeous, blue, pre-Raphaelite gown with gold embroidery, and a red underdress just peeking through at the sleeves and hem.” She’s already accomplished at sewing and confident she could make this herself. Here’s the stunning painting for reference:
However, this plan has some complications due to the family tradition of making a party out of the wedding shopping. In fact, that weekend is akin to a bachelorette. “So everyone got upset with me for breaking a beloved family tradition. They weren’t interested in my compromises.”
Not only were they not interested in compromise, but they were also enraged that the wedding dress was blue and red. “A Christian bride NEEDS to be married in virginal white or people will think she’s a whore (even though we’re living together for 2 years) Also, apparently, it will look like a ‘cheap, tacky, DIY clown costume’,” the OP writes.
These horrid comments aside, they were only the beginning of the uproar. “My older relatives are acting like I’m going to show up naked twirling on a stripper pole. My mom keeps leaving crying voicemails.” Worse still, her mother, her mother’s siblings, her dad, and maternal grandparents refuse to come to the wedding.
“Now everyone’s fighting with everyone else, and my Dad keeps asking if it’s worth tearing a family apart for a dress that I’ll only wear for one day.” Unfortunately, all of this negativity is taking a toll on the OP. “The guilt trips are starting to break me down and get to me. Honestly, the whole thing is destroying my joy in the wedding and making me want to just elope.” 
“You’re not tearing your family apart…”
Reddit was overwhelmingly in the bride and her blue wedding dress’s favor.
“Wear your beautiful blue dress and let the family chips fall where they will,” advises one comment. “...It’s your wedding, your choices. Those who don’t like it can stay away and FTHO. You aren’t required to tell them anything, so say no more, make and wear that beautiful dress, and have a wonderful wedding.”
Another comment added that she’s not responsible for her family’s falling out. “You’re not tearing your family apart, the ones throwing temper tantrums do,” said another comment. “Ask your dad why they feel they have the right to dictate to her what she should wear on her wedding day? Why they are entitled to tear the family apart over a dress none of them has to wear?”
Other commenters agree that the bride’s family has prioritized a blue wedding dress over her and her feelings. Many added that there had to be some other issues at play here, which can’t be fixed by the OP compromising on her dream.
One offered the idea that perhaps the family is feeling rejected. “…It sounds like your family finds the actual process and event of being together to choose the dress as a bonding experience, so some of this reaction sounds like a feeling of rejection from some of your family members.
The OP responded by saying, “I did offer to compromise by going to try on the bride’s maids/mother of the bride, etc dresses, as well as my veil and accessories. But apparently, it’s not the same if I’m not buying a dress.”
Why Do Brides Wear White?
Many responses poked fun at the family clutching their pearl’s over a blue wedding dress. “I actually laughed at the part where the mother is leaving voicemail of her crying lol, I mean does this family have nothing better in life than to worry about a blue dress? I would suggest OP trick then by telling them the wedding dress will be black and get popcorn and watch.”
The OP agrees, saying in the comments section, “The most ridiculous part is, we’re not even that religious! Church maybe twice a year on Easter and Christmas, if that. Babies out of wedlock and no one bats an eye. But get married in blue? Suddenly it’s the end of the world!”
The funny thing is that the traditional white gown originally had nothing to do with purity or religion. Before the 20th century, it was normal for brides to wear any color on their wedding day. It was often the nicest dress they already owned. However, in 1840, Queen Victoria wore a white silk-spun gown and changed the game until today. Initially, this trend caught on because white was a sign of wealth. After all, there were no dry cleaners around to maintain a white dress. Soon after the idea of wearing the dress only once came and the then-booming Hollywood cemented the idea that brides wear white. 
Since a white bridal gown has no strong religious significance, an Ophelia-inspired ones sounds a lot more meaningful for the OP. We hope she has a beautiful and happy wedding in her dream blue dress.
- “AITA for tearing my family apart over my (blue) wedding dress.” Reddit. Jully 2021
- “Why so many brides wear white on their wedding day.” CNN. February 8, 2019