As the summer of 2024 heats up, so does the dating scene, but not necessarily in a good way. Romance experts are warning about a new dating phenomenon called “benching,” which is leaving many singletons feeling sidelined and hurt. It’s time to break down what benching is and how you can spot if you’re being benched.
What is Benching?
Unlike the numerous vague dating terms that pop up every week, benching is surprisingly straightforward. It describes the feeling of being someone’s backup plan. They might shower you with attention, but you’re never their priority. It’s like being on a sports team but permanently stuck on the bench, waiting for a chance to play that may never come.
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Why Benching Hurts
The pain of being benched stems from the uncertainty and lack of commitment. It’s a constant state of limbo, waiting for the other person to decide if they want to take you off the bench. This ambiguity can lead to feelings of insecurity and low self-esteem.
Signs You’re Being Benched
If you suspect you’re being benched, here are some key signs to look out for:
- Limited Availability: They’re always busy, especially when you want to see them. Late-night texts or sporadic availability could mean you’re not a priority.
- Inconsistency: Their behavior is hot and cold, leaving you confused about where you stand. They may be struggling with their feelings or simply keeping you on the back burner.
- One-Sided Interactions: You’re the one initiating conversations, planning dates, and making all the effort. A healthy relationship involves equal participation from both sides.
- They’re Honest (Brutally): If they openly tell you they’re considering other options, you’re definitely being benched. While honesty is appreciated, it doesn’t make the situation less hurtful.
- Intuition: Trust your gut feeling. If something feels off, it probably is. Don’t ignore your intuition when it comes to matters of the heart.
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What to Do If You’re Being Benched
If you find yourself on the bench, it’s crucial to prioritize your well-being. Don’t settle for being someone’s second choice. Communicate your feelings honestly and assess whether this is the kind of relationship you want. Remember, you deserve someone who makes you a priority, not an option.
Protecting Yourself from Benching
While it’s impossible to completely shield yourself from the dating game’s pitfalls, there are steps you can take to reduce the risk of being benched.
- Set Boundaries: Be clear about your expectations from the start. Don’t settle for inconsistent communication or sporadic dates.
- Focus on Your Needs: Don’t prioritize someone who doesn’t prioritize you. Invest your time and energy in people who value and respect you.
- Date Multiple People: Don’t put all your eggs in one basket. Explore your options and keep your options open until someone proves they deserve your full attention.
- Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Your intuition is often a reliable guide in matters of the heart.
By setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing your well-being, you can protect yourself from the pain of being benched and increase your chances of finding a fulfilling and committed relationship.
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