Tanya and Ashley Marum, a married couple from Leeds, began exploring swinging soon after their 2019 wedding. Tanya, who identifies as bisexual, and Ashley both sought new experiences that would strengthen their bond. Their interest in non-traditional relationships eventually brought them onto the Channel 4 program Open House: The Great Sex Experiment. What started as a personal exploration developed into a business when they founded an events company for swingers – the Swinger club. Their gatherings now attract hundreds of attendees who apply online to join. Entry, however, is limited to those the organizers consider physically attractive.
The Idea of an “Accepting” Community
Tanya has described swinging as a supportive and open community that extends beyond intimacy. She says it has improved her marriage by encouraging honest communication and reducing partner secrecy. For her, the lifestyle allows couples to share experiences while building friendships. She also notes that trust and openness help them handle feelings such as jealousy in constructive ways. At the same time, she acknowledges that not everyone can take part in their events. The requirement to be well-presented and “nice looking” is part of the club’s vetting process.
Why Physical Appearance Matters to Them
Ashley has explained that physical attractiveness plays an essential role in their events. He believes that most attendees enjoy themselves more when surrounded by people who make an effort with their appearance. Early attempts at meeting others in the lifestyle led them to create structured gatherings with guests. This eventually grew into large-scale events drawing more than 300 people. To manage interest, they ask applicants to provide photos during the online application process. The Marums say this helps ensure participants meet expectations for grooming and presentation.
The Psychology of Attraction and Exclusivity
Research in evolutionary psychology suggests that physical appearance often serves as a quick signal of health and vitality. This is one reason why many social and sexual spaces emphasize attractiveness. In swinger communities, appearance-based standards are not unusual, as organizers often aim to match participants’ preferences. The Marums’ process reflects this trend, prioritizing presentation as a condition for acceptance. While appearance is subjective, it remains a key factor in human attraction.
Relationship Strengthening Through Swinging
The couple maintains that swinging has improved their personal and sexual relationships. Tanya says the experience has given them the freedom to talk openly about topics that many couples may avoid. Ashley adds that the lifestyle has provided new opportunities and even led to their business ventures. Both emphasize that jealousy, when it arises, is handled through communication rather than conflict. For them, the foundation of their marriage supports these explorations without weakening their bond. They view swinging as both a personal choice and a professional pathway.
Balancing Acceptance with Exclusion in a Swinger club
The Marums describe their club as welcoming for people who want to explore new dynamics with like-minded couples. At the same time, their rules exclude applicants who do not fit their standards of attractiveness. Supporters of the model argue that clear guidelines help create a comfortable atmosphere for attendees. Critics question whether such selectivity contradicts ideas of inclusivity. Regardless, the Marums’ events continue to draw interest, showing how personal preference and business structure have shaped this particular corner of their lifestyle.
Disclaimer: This article was created with AI assistance and edited by a human for accuracy and clarity.
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