15. “I was just joking—lighten up.”
This one’s often followed by laughter, but it still stings. It’s what toxic moms say when they’ve said something cruel, and you call them on it. Instead of owning the hurtful comment, they hide behind humor and make you feel like the problem for not “getting it.” It minimizes your pain and teaches you to tolerate disrespect as if it’s harmless fun. Over time, you might start brushing off real hurt to avoid seeming “too sensitive.” A joke isn’t a joke if it hurts and no one’s laughing but them.
Read More: 10 Toxic Phrases Every Gaslighter Uses