As we age, it’s natural to look back at the decisions we’ve made and the paths we’ve taken. For Iva Ursano, a 60-year-old writer, reflecting on her life has brought to light several deep regrets—23 to be exact. In a heartfelt piece on Medium, Ursano bravely recounts these life lessons, sharing her story in hopes others might learn from her experiences. “We don’t get a second chance at life,” Ursano writes, urging her readers to live with intention and avoid the same pitfalls.
While her list offers a window into the specific ways she feels she could have lived differently, it’s not just a tale of missteps—it’s a chance for others to pause and reassess their own lives. Here, we’ll explore many of her reflections and also discuss how we can deal with regret, a powerful emotion that shapes so much of our lives.
Regret #1: Not Pursuing Her Passions Sooner
One of the most poignant regrets Ursano shares is her wish that she had followed her passions earlier in life. “I spent too many years doing things I wasn’t passionate about,” she admits. Many can relate to the feeling of being trapped in a job or lifestyle that doesn’t bring joy. The lesson here is clear: life is too short to put off what truly excites you. Waiting for the “right time” to follow your dreams may mean waiting too long.
Regret #2: Letting Fear Hold Her Back
Fear holds many of us back from taking risks, whether in our careers, relationships, or personal development. Ursano reveals that fear often kept her from pursuing what she wanted most. “I was afraid of failure and rejection, and that kept me from living a fuller life,” she says. Her reflection underscores the importance of moving past fear, acknowledging that while failure might happen, regret is often more painful than failure ever could be.
Regret #3: Not Saying “I Love You” Enough
In hindsight, Ursano regrets not expressing love more often to those who mattered most. “I assumed people knew how I felt about them,” she writes. “But now I realize how important it is to say those words.” It’s a reminder that love is something that needs to be communicated, not just felt. The opportunity to express love may pass, but regret over unspoken words can linger for a lifetime.
Regret #4: Ignoring Her Health
Another powerful lesson from Ursano’s list is the importance of self-care, especially when it comes to physical health. “I didn’t prioritize my health in my younger years, and now I’m paying for it,” she admits. Many of us neglect our well-being when we’re busy, but Ursano’s regret serves as a wake-up call. Taking care of ourselves should always be a top priority, no matter how hectic life gets.
Read More: What Does It Mean, and How Does It Feel To Be Truly Loved?
Regret #5: Not Spending Enough Time with Loved Ones
As life got busier, Ursano found herself drifting away from family and friends. “I let time slip away and didn’t spend enough of it with the people I care about,” she reflects. It’s a common regret for many who find that careers and daily routines push relationships to the back burner. Ursano’s words are a reminder to reconnect with those we love before it’s too late.
Regret #6: Not Traveling More
Ursano also regrets not traveling more in her younger years. “I always thought I’d have more time,” she shares. This sentiment will resonate with those who have put off seeing the world due to work, finances, or fear. Travel offers a unique way to broaden our perspectives and enrich our lives, and Ursano’s regret reminds us that the opportunity to explore might not always be there.
Regret #7: Allowing Toxic People to Stay in Her Life
One of Ursano’s most painful admissions is that she allowed toxic relationships to continue far longer than she should have. “I wasted too much time on people who didn’t have my best interests at heart,” she says. This is a hard-earned lesson for many: recognizing when it’s time to let go of people who bring negativity into our lives.
Regret #8: Not Trusting Her Instincts
Throughout her life, Ursano often ignored her gut feelings in favor of logic or external pressure. “I wish I had trusted my instincts more,” she reflects. Intuition is a powerful guide, and disregarding it can lead to decisions that don’t align with our true selves.
Regret #9: Not Learning More About Financial Independence
For Ursano, financial literacy is another area she wishes she had prioritized. “I didn’t understand the importance of financial independence until later in life,” she admits. The lessons here are simple: learn how to manage your money early on, save when you can, and aim for financial autonomy. These steps can prevent financial insecurity later in life.
Read More: Man Asks Group of Older People About Their Biggest Regrets, and They Had Similar Answers
Regret #10: Comparing Herself to Others
Comparison, Ursano notes, has been one of her greatest downfalls. “I spent too many years comparing myself to others and feeling inadequate,” she writes. This is a common trap many fall into, especially in the age of social media. Learning to embrace our journey without constantly measuring it against others is key to living a more content and fulfilled life.
Regret #11: Not Taking Care of Her Mental Health
In addition to her physical health, Ursano also regrets neglecting her mental well-being. “I thought mental health wasn’t as important as physical health, and now I know I was wrong,” she confesses. Prioritizing mental health is crucial, whether that means seeking therapy, practicing mindfulness, or setting healthy boundaries.
Regret #12: Focusing Too Much on Material Possessions
Looking back, Ursano acknowledges that she spent too much time and money on material things that ultimately didn’t matter. “Stuff doesn’t bring happiness, people and experiences do,” she reflects. It’s a simple yet profound lesson about focusing on what truly brings joy and fulfillment.
Regret #13: Holding Grudges
One of the most surprising entries on Ursano’s list is her admission that holding onto anger and resentment has only hurt her in the long run. “I wasted energy being angry at people instead of forgiving them and moving on,” she says. Letting go of grudges frees up emotional space for more positive experiences.
Regret #14: Not Being Kinder to Herself
Ursano wishes she had practiced more self-compassion. “I’ve been my own worst critic,” she writes, “and that did more damage than I realized.” Learning to be kinder to ourselves can lead to a more peaceful and fulfilling life, something Ursano wants others to know before it’s too late.
Regret #15: Waiting Too Long to Make Changes
Perhaps one of the most universal regrets Ursano shares is the feeling that she waited too long to make important changes in her life. “I kept waiting for the ‘right time,’ but that time never came,” she says. Change is often uncomfortable, but the pain of inaction is often greater.
Coping with Regret: What Can We Do?
As we reflect on Ursano’s list of regrets, it’s important to recognize that regret is a natural part of the human experience. We all make mistakes and have moments we wish we could change. However, how we handle those regrets can significantly impact our well-being. According to psychologists, one of the best ways to cope with regret is through self-compassion—acknowledging that we’re not alone in our missteps and that it’s never too late to make positive changes.
Transform Regret into Action
Instead of allowing regret to weigh us down, we can use it as a catalyst for growth. Ursano’s story serves as a powerful reminder that it’s never too late to start living the life we want. By reflecting on our past mistakes, we can learn to make better choices moving forward. Whether it’s pursuing a passion, letting go of toxic relationships, or taking care of our health, the key is to act now.
Let Go and Forgive
One of the hardest parts of regret is letting go of what we can’t change. But as Ursano wisely points out, holding onto those feelings only brings more pain. Letting go of regret, forgiving ourselves, and focusing on the present can lead to a much more peaceful and fulfilling life.
For the full list of Iva Ursano’s life regrets and more of her reflections, you can find her piece on Medium.
Read More: 14 Things People Regret the Most When They’re Dying
Sources
- “23 Regrets From a 60-Year-Old Woman” Medium. Iva Ursano. April 2024
- “How to Cope With Regret” Very Well Mind. Kendra Cherry, MSEd. November 28, 2023.
- “Living with Regrets and How to Deal with Them” Psych Central. Sarah Barkley and Carrie Byrd. April 24, 2023.