Woman Won’t Give Her Boyfriend The Code To Her Gem-Filled Safe, Asks If She’s In The Wrong Here After He Gets Mad

Relationships are tricky. The boundary that exists can often get blurry- and then relationships break. In a recent Reddit post, a woman stated that her boyfriend had gotten mad at her because she refused him something. Now, that could be a symptom of extreme narcissistic behavior. The woman had simply not given the combination of her safe to him- and for good reason!

This was her profession, and there was a huge possibility that her boyfriend may just jeopardize her. Let’s read the entire post, before deciding upon a verdict:


I am a Gemologist, and spend my days in the lab testing and identifying stones. From the nature of my work I also have a large and valuable collection of jewellery but also gem specimens that I keep in a safe I specifically bought and had installed to keep them safe. I also have a second smaller safe for keeping important documents like passports.

Now, we come to her relationship. OP has been living with her boyfriend and has already given him the combination for her smaller safe. This seems quite natural- as he must have some important documents to place too. But recently, he started asking her for the combination to her larger, professional safe:


I’ve said no because he has no reason to open the safe as the only thing it’s used for is storing my collection, he’s said he has no interest in my gem collection, doesn’t want to look at them, but still wants the code to access them. This is causing tension because he says I should give it to him as a show or trust, and I said no, because he literally has no reason to go in there so he doesn’t need the code. This is a six figure collection so I’m not being difficult over a few little gems here. I am the only one who knows the code.

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OP Should Never the Give Safe’s Combination To Anyone

Anyone reading this would come to the conclusion that her boyfriend was acting suspiciously. Now, if something acts like a duck, moves like a duck, eats a duck, chances are- it won’t be a cow. So, r/AITA came to the forefront and put their verdict for the community to read and judge.

safe with number combination dial
Image Credits: Stock

u/Satansbiscuit666 was rational in their judgment:


“I wouldn’t trust anybody with the code. Money does weird things to people. Even the ones you trust completely.”

u/DutchOnionKnight also reiterated the sentiment and said:


“If you ever had someone who left you and your family money, you truly see their colors.”

u/This_Cauliflower1986 mentioned:


“And the fact that he has no reason to need that code makes this come across sketchy AF. I’m not sure he’s husband material and wonder if his motives to be with you relate to material things. Please charge rent. He sounds like an untrustworthy mooch.”

Relationships Have Their Place- But Not In a Professional Space

u/Hot_Mention_9337 had a lot to say about the ‘safe’ situation:


“I don’t care if it’s a 3 month old relationship, or a 30 year long relationship with major shared assets and kids. Doesn’t matter if you are blood related or not. Money, or even just the thought of money that one could potentially come into, can bring out the absolute worst and I have seen this with my own eyes time and time again. When my friend received an inheritance, her husband of 16 years asked for access so he could easily get it in case of emergencies, if one of them passed away, and/or for their children’s future. The account was cleared out within 6 months and they divorced shortly after.”

u/chanaramil had a really interesting perspective about the post:


“You know if I was OP I would include myself in that anybody. What I mean is maybe I will lose and misplace something on my own. I don’t trust myself to be a perfect curator of the safe. Everyone makes mistakes. But as long as I’m the only one with the code if that ever happens and I swear something in the safe is off I will know it’s my mistake. If someone else has the code I could never be sure. Giving the code to someone else invites drama even if the person is honest because I don’t trust myself to be perfect.”

u/Zestyclose_Fun_4951 stated what we all wanted to say:

“Don’t give him the code. Never give him the code. If he keeps going on and on and on about it, still don’t give him the code. I hate how partners dangle “If you trust me” give this password or that code to me for iPhones, bank accounts, Instagram, or whatever. Partners don’t need access to everything in your life, it’s okay to keep things for yourselves. Honestly because you never know what could happen down the line, a bad breakup? He gets petty, goes into the safe, and takes something? It could happen.”

A bit of a glaring red herring, to say the least.

Keep Reading: Woman Asks if She was Wrong to Walk Out On Vacation After Husband Secretly Booked MIL to Come Along


  1. AITA for refusing to give my partner the code to my safe?Reddit. June 2022.

Attention: While many of these stories are interesting, and we would love to take their word for it, the content in this article was taken from an unverifiable source (i.e., a Reddit forum). As such, we cannot guarantee that these events truly happened in the way that they are described in the original source.