Woman Resents Parents for Burning Through Her Inheritance That ‘Should Be Hers.’ Is She Wrong?

For some, inheritance is the only consolation for losing some of the most important people in our lives, even if it doesn’t come remotely close to alleviating the heartbreak. However, it does offer some financial relief and assurance of a more comfortable life. As such, one woman has recently shared that she’s become “resentful” of her parents spending their retirement money, leaving her with little hope of a substantial inheritance.

An anonymous 34-year-old woman recently shared and wrote about her concerns regarding her inheritance, wondering if she’s being unreasonable. “It is not a pleasant thing to admit,” she explained. “But the fact is their dream holidays are draining my inheritance.”

Concerns about Her Inheritance

“At 34, I am still renting and living hand-to-mouth. Unlike the boomers, my generation are more used to working freelance or making do with gig economy jobs than climbing the corporate ladder in a solid job for life. Soon, AI will come for the white-collar workers among us anyway.” The woman then disclosed in the Daily Mail. “I know that when I finally get on the property ladder, I’m going to be in so much debt that there will be no way out without help.”

She shares that because she’s struggling every month to make ends meet, meanwhile her parents own their home, cars, and take regular lavish vacations, she feels some resentment. Then she explains that at first, she was happy for them to have the opportunity to make the most of the next chapter of their lives. However, her own financial struggles have created a wedge.

“At the start of their travel spree, about five years ago, I loved the bravery and ambition of it. Growing up, we usually went to Devon or Cornwall once a year. But when there was just the two of them (my younger sister and I have long since flown the nest), they could afford to globe trot. For a bit.” She said. “Well, good for them, I thought. Let them, in their late 60s, have a couple of lovely holidays, before settling into a cozy retirement at home.

“While their pensions are healthy, this level of travel is eating into their savings. Is it unbelievably awful to think of the money they spend on these trips as mine?” She questioned. “They had, after all, mentioned they’d divide any eventual sum between my sister and me, and I’ve been quietly counting on that to get a leg up.” She concluded.

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A Dilemma for the Masses

Unsurprisingly, she isn’t the only person to experience this. “My inheritance is currently being drunk through a straw in a coconut in the Caribbean.” A friend of the anonymous woman explained of her own circumstances. Many 30-year-olds are going through something similar. Paired with the cost of living, her story has sparked debate among the internet, with some posing important questions. “Who is being selfish? Us for wanting them to save their money so we can one day, have it? Or them, for splurging it all so freely on themselves?”

Sadly, people feel a desire to tiptoe around certain subjects like death, inheritance, and final wishes. While they aren’t comfortable talking about it, it’s essential to do so because all of these factors are added stressors. These stressors are then placed upon the shoulders of children and even grandchildren. A financial planner at Quilter by the name of Rosie Hooper recently explained that are numerous reasons to have these tough conversations.

“Some people may consider it distasteful to discuss their future inheritance,” she shared. “However, it is important to not only look at your own inheritance, but what it could also mean in terms of support for the future generations within your family.”

Strategies to Save Inheritance

Because people prefer to avoid discussing subjects like inheritance, the conversations often result in a great deal of emotional turmoil. However, there are more effective ways to approach the conversation. For example, economists last names Bernheim, Shleifer, and Summers wrote a paper entitled “The Strategic Bequest Motive.” In the paper, they discuss their extensive research. Explaining an interesting find. A commonality among elderly people is a desire for more time and affection. For instance, children who spend more time with their parents often receive a larger inheritance than those who spend little time with them.

After analyzing reams of data, they concluded that bequests are really trades. People generally want something in return for making them — namely, time and attention. For example, studies show that children who frequently call and visit their elderly parents tend to inherit larger amounts than those who don’t. As a result, it’s possible by investing time, a visit or phone call, a surprise card to say hello, anything to make parents feel as though they’re still heavily involved in the lives of their children and grandchildren, there may be no need to tackle some of the uncomfortable topics such as inheritance.

Conversely, investing time may not eliminate the need to have other tough conversations like addressing final wishes or plans of inheritance among families with more than one child or grandchild.

Compromise is Key

While some of these conversations bring up some big or uncomfortable feelings, it’s important to have them. Additionally, it’s essential for all members of the family to feel as though they are being heard. For example, parents and grandparents might feel they worked hard in their lives and are entitled to enjoy the remainder of their days how they see fit.

Meanwhile, younger generations feel their parents should care enough about their future to know how beneficial an inheritance would be, especially in today’s economy. Therefore, the only way to ensure everyone wins is to compromise. Parents can take fewer or less lavish trips, live on a budget when they’re not traveling, or put some money into a separate savings account so that children are guaranteed to receive some size of the inheritance. Meanwhile, families should invest time into one another, not excluding parents and grandparents. Ultimately, this is a personal decision.

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