A woman in North Carolina shared a valuable piece of wisdom, 6 words that forever changed her life and approach to parenthood.
Facing Challenges
Abby Batchelder, an editor and published author, lost her mother around the same time she was working through a crisis with her daughter. However, before her passing, Abby’s mom said something that profoundly moved her and has stuck with her. It was around the holidays and Abby had to tell her mom some difficult news. “Your granddaughter needs to go to a hospital in Nashville for her depression,” she shared in HuffPost UK. “She’ll be away a few months.”
Secret Treatment Plan
It turns out she was in treatment for something else. Something that Abby didn’t have the heart to share with her mother. “I couldn’t bring myself to explain. Mom never asked for details, and I was relieved not to talk with her about it again. I knew she wouldn’t understand that my lovely 19-year-old daughter — the grandchild she adored and got such a kick out of — had been addicted to heroin in college and was now struggling to recover her life in rehab.” Abby wrote.
Read More: Father Wins Legal Battle and Custody of 4-Year-Old Son After Mother Tried to Raise Him Non-Binary
Words of Wisdom
A month into the treatment, Abby’s mom had a mini-stroke and doctors warned there would likely be more. “I prepared myself for the fact that my vibrant, complicated mother might soon die. To my surprise, her deteriorating health made her softer — and me more forgiving.” She shared. One day before heading to her mom’s, Abby got a call that her daughter was at the hospital with third-degree burns and would likely need a skin graft. Her immediate thought was to get to her daughter as soon as possible but she wanted to see her mom first. When she told her mom, in addition to supporting her decision to go, her mom told her, “You’re going to get through this.” What she would later come to realize is that her mother meant that regarding everything.
Feeling a Small Sense of Renewal
“As I left her room and walked down the stairs to the parking lot, I felt lighter than I had in years. My constant guilt and worrying about her, about my daughter, about myself seemed to evaporate in that moment.” She shared. “Despite the uncertainty that surrounded me, I suddenly felt confident and calm, rather than anxious or inept. I hadn’t realized how much I’d longed to hear those words from my mother all my life.” When Abby got to Nashville to be with her daughter, there was an incident involving her daughter’s medication. In that moment, she realized her daughter was still battling her addiction. However, rather than lecture her or give her the usual pep talk, Abby merely told her daughter the same words her mother had told her.
Heartfelt Realizations
Days later, Abby’s mother passed away. “At first, when my mother said, “You’re going to get through this,” I thought she was just talking about my challenges raising a troubled teen. After she died, I realized she also meant I was going to get through losing a mother and all the other struggles that come with being human.” She explained. “I’ve since tried to give my children the gift of trust — the belief I have in their ability to handle whatever comes up in their lives. Sometimes, I relapse into old patterns of fear. But thanks to my mother, I now have a mantra to practice: You’re going to get through this.”
Local Resources Can Help
Losing a loved one is a pain that can’t be described, yet nearly everyone knows it. Furthermore, everyone has struggled with or known someone who’s struggled with addiction and other mental health challenges. Fortunately, there are online support systems and resources available to help people struggling with addiction or suicidal thoughts. Moreover, many outpatient treatments are covered by health insurance. However, “You’re going to get through this” is insightful and, in most cases, true. After all, with enough support and determination, life’s challenges work themselves out eventually.