Although going out with family or friends to share a meal is often an enjoyable experience, things can get awkward when it comes to splitting the bill. Some prefer it to be split evenly, while others want separate checks or to pay only for their portion. Either way, a Reddit user questioned the internet after an unpleasant encounter with some friends.
Splitting the Bill
An anonymous 27-year-old male posted a story about his recent experience at a restaurant with friends to the subreddit AITA, wondering if he had poorly handled a situation when it came to splitting the bill after they had shared a meal.
AITH
“I(27M) have been a part of a small friend group, around eight people total, basically since college. For some background, two people from the group, Susan and Greg, are just absolute leeches. Going out for lunch? Expect them to order the most expensive on the menu, then feed you some sob story about their finances, and then dump half the bill on you,” he writes.
Losing His Appetite
He then explained that his friend “Dan” had invited him to dinner but he was apprehensive because Susan and Greg would be there. Dan convinced him to go. “I show up and we all get to talking. Everyone began putting in their orders, and most of them spent about $40. There were only about six people there,” the OP continued. “When it gets to Susan and Greg, they both order expensive dishes, around $200. When it was my turn to order, everyone looked at me, but I just picked up the menu, pointed to the $4 Miller Lite, and sent the waiter away. Dan asked why I hadn’t ordered anything, and all I said was that I lost my appetite. The other two friends got up as well to cancel their orders and just have drinks.”
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Insulting Responses
Apparently, when the table was discussing splitting the bill, the OP noted that he hadn’t ordered food so he would only pay for his drink, which seemed fair to him, and the other 2 friends who’d cancelled their food orders and only had drinks as well. However, this didn’t sit well with Dan, Greg, or Susan and the OP woke up to countless texts about how he’d made an unkind decision and left his friends in a difficult position.
Meanwhile, most of Reddit sided with the OP, noting they would have done something similar.
NTA
“NTA. I thought what you did was brilliant. You started by saying you would not attend if the leeches were there. Your friend Dan wanted you to come anyway, so you did, but on your own terms. The moment you ordered only a beer, that was a signal that every adult at the restaurant should have recognized — especially because the bar bill is separate from the food — that you were not eating. Two others were not eating, thus not splitting a dinner bill. I bet Dan will not be so quick to include Susan and Greg again,” one person thoughtfully explained.
Furthermore, someone added they “ALWAYS ask for separate checks” to avoid being in an uncomfortable situation when it comes to splitting the bill.
Going Viral Over Splitting the Bill
Weirdly, this isn’t the first time a situation like this has gone viral. Rather, in 2023, a group of friends shared a meal and verbally “brawled” over splitting the bill when the total came out to $4,600.00. While some have speculated the video is “staged” it poses an interesting topic. How should people budget when it comes to sharing a meal and splitting the bill?
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Fortunately, there are a lot of options that work well for everyone involved, assuming they’re willing to pay their way unlike the people mentioned in the anonymous AITA post. Firstly, there are apps like Splitwise, which allow you to easily and fairly track everyone’s portion. Secondly, etiquette experts have shared with Bon Appetit ways for splitting the bill that meet social etiquette standards.
Beverage Etiquette
For example, if only one person is drinking then those beverages should be on a separate check, paid for by the person who consumed them. “Often, alcoholic beverages are more costly than the food,” Myka Meier, founder of Beaumont Etiquette, explained. “So if only one person is drinking, it would be kind for that person to offer to pay more.” Alternatively, that person can also offer to pay toward the bill if it’s typically split evenly between everyone.
Drinks are Expensive
Conversely, if only one person is NOT drinking, then etiquette calls for them to pay less than everyone else.
Alternatively, you’re expected to pay if you order a round of drinks for everyone without consulting with everyone else.
Dividing Expenses Fairly
Another example of something that may make splitting the bill feel awkward is when people order more or less expensive dishes than others. Meier says that if one person orders an expensive main dish they should pay more than those who ordered a less expensive appetizer. “It’s the job of that person to offer to pay more. The table may not take the person up on that offer, but the person eating the lobster when everyone else had chicken should offer out of respect,” explains.
Furthermore, she adds: “if one person is treating, it may be in poor taste to knowingly order something pricey and expect them to cover for you.”
Splitting the Bill for Birthdays
However, birthday etiquette is a little different because that depends on who made the plans. For instance, you should expect to pay for dinner if you’ve invited everyone out to celebrate but they may offer to pay, which is acceptable, according to Diane Gottsman, owner of The Protocol School of Texas. Meanwhile, friends or family are expected to pay when they invite you out, they may do so by splitting the bill including the cost of your meal.
Splitting the bill can feel like an awkward situation but hopefully family and friends are reasonable and willing to contribute when it comes to splitting the bill.
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