Woman Doesn’t Want Stepdaughter to Inherit Family Heirloom, Husband Says She’s Selfish

For many reasons, a family heirloom is something that’s important and should be cherished. First, they are an important piece of someone’s family history. Second, they tend to hold significant sentimental value, a loving connection to the generations that came before. Last, in some cases they might also be monetarily valuable, meaning they be someone in the family’s saving grace. As such, one woman turned to Reddit for perspective when her husband presented her with a difficult decision regarding a beautiful piece of jewelry that’s been in her family for generations.

An anonymous 35-year-old turned to the subreddit AITA (“Am I The A**hole?”), with a question that had perplexed, and possibly even emotionally disturbed her. She and her husband, Joey, have been married for 2 years, and dated for 4. They both have a daughter from previous relationships. His daughter’s name is Sophia and she’s 14. Meanwhile, her daughter’s name is Emily, and she’s 13. Emily’s family has a tradition in which the oldest son or daughter is given an emerald necklace for their 14th birthday—a tradition their family has had for generations.

Parting with a Family Heirloom

Emily’s 14th birthday is just around the corner, in January, and she, aware of the precious family heirloom is looking forward to when her mom passes it down to her. However, it seems Joey has other ideas for the precious family heirloom. According to the post, he has been aware of the family heirloom and that Emily is set to receive it, for as long as the pair has been together. Yet, he presented his wife with an idea that left her stunned.

With the holidays here, the pair have been discussing Christmas present ideas for the girls. Joey suggested she give the family heirloom to Sophia. Rather than Emily because, “it would be nice for Sophia to receive the necklace since it would show her that I truly accepted Sophia as my daughter.” The post goes on to explain that she reminded Joey that it’s a family tradition. As well as telling him that Emily is already excitedly awaiting her birthday to receive the family heirloom. However, he responded that she was “being selfish” and “favoring” her daughter over his. Furthermore, he suggested she buy Emily another necklace off of Amazon for her upcoming birthday.

Fighting Over the Family Heirloom

Unhappy with her unwillingness to comply, he recruited the help of his mother and sister, who backed Joey in saying that she was playing favorites. To make matters worse, he opted to give his wife the silent treatment because she has thus far refused to change her mind regarding the family heirloom. Although to his credit, he doesn’t do so in front of the kids. However, it’s seemingly put a strain on the marriage.

Reddit Validates the OP

Perhaps feeling frustrated, or heartbroken that she may not be able to give the family heirloom to her daughter, she turned to Reddit to ask others for their opinions. Unsurprisingly, there was a lot of validating feedback. Many people agreed that she should give the family heirloom to her own daughter, rather than her stepdaughter. “You’re not favoring one kid over another. Emily is your kid and the necklace is hers. Your SD is not entitled to anything,” said one Redditor.

“DO NOT give that necklace to anyone other than your daughter and DO NOT feel an ounce of guilt about it. NTA,” said another. “NTA but this is a huge red flag. The silent treatment is not healthy.” Said a third.

In the meantime, others offered helpful advice and suggestions for how she instead should handle the situation. “Why doesn’t he get the Amazon necklace for his daughter? Seems more appropriate than passing down the family heirloom to his.” Questioned one Reddit user.

“It needs to be locked up in a safe place so that neither your SD nor your husband can get their hands on it. I would sit down with Emily and explain why you are doing so and that while you consider it hers, it’s best to keep it safe.” Explained another.

“Better question is why don’t you get his daughter one from Amazon and give your daughter, the real one! Showing it as a gesture of getting them both something similar. My other suggestion would be to get her her own necklace to pass down from your family between you and your husband where you can start your own tradition.” Another logically recommended.

Raising Concerns

As one commenter pointed out, her husband giving her the silent treatment is a cause for concern. Although it’s unknown what the dynamic of their relationship is, experts do agree that this may be something to be aware of. According to Psychology Today, an act like this can border into emotional abuse when it becomes a pattern. As opposed to an “isolated occurrence“. Furthermore, another source points out that it may in some cases “be used as a control tactic.” Therefore, it’s important to be aware of the possible dangers associated with this kind of behavior and take note of the frequency.

Although there are bots and trolls on Reddit, it’s comforting to know that there is an online world of strangers who genuinely care and want to help others in addressing obstacles. A family heirloom is an important piece of a family’s history and, in most cases, bonds a family member to their most loved relatives. This woman took to the internet which entirely validated her concerns, to ask for their advice regarding her family’s tradition. She’s certainly in a tough spot, but hopefully, with the many helpful hints she got from Reddit, she should be able to find a solution that works for all parties.

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