There are many beautiful stories about adoptive parents. Truly, being a parent is not just about giving birth– it’s so much more than that. To Ben Carpenter, adoption takes on a whole new meaning.
So far Carpenter has adopted six children, and he hopes he can adopt more. The children all have a common trait: they all suffer from some kind of disability, some with multiple disabilities. But that is Carpenter’s mission and joy in life: being a parent to the most vulnerable.
John’s Adopted Children
John had started adopting children when he was only 21 years old. His first child, Jack, who has autism, turned 14 in 2021. The second child, 11-year-old Ruby, suffers from a complex disability known as Pierre Robin syndrome. The third child is Lily, who is only 9 and is deaf and Joseph, the fourth, has Down syndrome.
However, Teddy, Carpenter’s fifth adopted unfortunately pass away. In November 2019, Teddy lost his life because of complications caused by sepsis. He had Cornelia de Lange syndrome, a very rare disorder of the genes. However, the disability was not the cause of death[2].
Teddy’s death had left Carpenter devastated. He constantly wondered if he could have done something more for Teddy. The grief delayed the adoption of Louis, his sixth child and only 2 years old. Louis is blind and is a patient with cerebral palsy.
John’s Dreamt Of Being A Parent
The 37-year-old Huddersfield resident always dreamt of having a family. But he was never too keen to be a biological father. He had professional experience in the care industry and so wanted to aid the most vulnerable out there. Carpenter said:
“I never wanted to become a biological dad because being a parent is so much more than that. I wanted to help kids that were the most vulnerable and the ones that were most in need of a loving and caring home.”
You can hardly find a dream that is nobler than Carpenter’s. But, adopting a child, especially with a disability, is not easy. Carpenter spent about 3 years convincing the authorities about his seriousness regarding adoption.
Carpenter also happens to be among the youngest gay men in England to adopt a child. The journey has been far from easy. Even today, he hears many people talking about his status as a single gay father.
Some speak of his sexual orientation and how he must be influencing the kids to become gay as well. Others doubt his motives and think that he must be getting paid for it. However, Carpenter is used to it by now. He says to Unilad:
“To me, they are just comments I can handle it. I do find myself correcting silly naive comments. In all honesty 70% of the time, they do see sense once it’s explained to them.”
Read: Baby Girl With Down Syndrome Is Adopted by a Doting Dad After Being Rejected by 20 Families
How Did Ben Choose Whom To Adopt?
Since he was very young when he began to adopt children, he had to show proof of his capability to look after them. So he first chose a boy to adopt, followed by a girl. Fortunately, he was quickly accepted and he met his eldest son Jack and daughter Ruby.
Then, he would then adopt Ruby’s biological half-sister. To balance things out Ben tried to adopt another boy. So he applied to adopt Joseph, a young boy with Down syndrome [4].
He had agreed to adopt a boy who suffered from serious brain issues. However, due to Teddy’s passing, he could not do it until early 2020 because of the grief. What made him overcome the grief and trudge onwards? Well, according to Ben:
“I realized that this little boy also needed me and I could be his last option”
By April 2020, Louis was Ben’s sixth adopted child.
Life As An Adoptive Parent
In an interview on the Morning show, the hosts had asked Ben about how he dealt with this many children by himself. Ben said that it was simply routine for him:
“Just routine. I have constant structure and routine. I have great friends and my mother who is a wonderful support network for me.”
Ben regards his adopted children as the most wonderful in the world. He feels very lucky to be a parent to children like them. Presently, one of his favorite things to do is just sit back and imagine the siblings attending each other’s weddings. Ben feels very proud of what he has been able to accomplish:
“I often sit and imagine them all at each other’s weddings. They are all so supportive of each other and I am so proud that I have created a happy, loving, and stable environment for them to grow up in.”
As for his future plans, he wants to adopt more children. He also plans to build a special sensory room where his five children can learn more. He has a fundraiser on Justgiving for the room that you can check out.
Keep Reading: Mother Secretly Gives Daughter up for Adoption — Father Finds Out and Fights to Win Her Back
Sources
- “Single ‘superdad’ who adopted five disabled children and says ‘parenting is much more than being biologically linked’ is hailed as ‘inspirational’ by This Morning viewers.” Daily Mail. Jessica Green. January 29, 2021.
- “Selfless single dad adopts sixth child – and says he might have another.” Mirror. Beth Kilgallon. June 16, 2021.
- “Man Dubbed ‘Super Dad’ After Adopting Four Children.” Lad Bible. Claire Reid. October 18, 2017.