Leah Berenson

Leah Berenson

October 18, 2024

BFF Relationships Have Changed Over The Years. How Are They Different Now?

A BFF is an integral and irreplaceable part of one’s life. They offer guidance, support, and a place to lay our woes; however, like most things, relationships have changed over the years. Here’s a look at friendships from the 90s and today. 

1. BFFs Don’t Fight the Same Way

Girl trying to apologize to her offended friend after quarrel at home
Source: Shutterstock

How we socialize has changed immensely over the years, particularly as technology has changed. For instance, apologies were usually done with a handwritten note or in person, whereas today, a text or email might bridge the gaps in the relationship after a tough fight with your BFF. 

2. An Apology Gift

Girl trying to apologize to her offended friend after quarrel at home
Source: Shutterstock

Another example of how times have changed is how you and your BFF apologize with more than a note. Today, someone might buy their BFF a gift card for their favorite coffee shop or a candle that says “I’m Sorry” or “I Appreciate You.” 

Read More: 13 Ways to Avoid Your Relationship With Your Parents Affect Your Romanic Relationships

3. BFF Movie Nights have Changed

Smiling young women relaxing and watching TV at home, female friends having rest after hard week, copy space
Source: Shutterstock

In the 90s BFF’s had movie nights that are significantly different from our movie nights today. Where we once stopped at the video store to pick up movies and treats, now we sit on our couches in the comfort of our homes and binge on our favorite streaming platforms, perhaps with a good bottle of wine. 

4. Their Role in Our Relationships Have Changed

Surprised Woman Showing Proof on her Smartphone to her Friend Shocked lady sharing personal pictures with her best friend
Source: Shutterstock

BFF’s from the 90s would likely play Wingman differently than they do today For instance, once a simple act of deciding your crush and incorporating their name or initials into every game has now become a team effort to stalk their social media accounts. Learning everything there is to know about your crush.

5. BFFs in the 90s Weren’t Exclusive

Three joyful multicultural women friends share a cozy moment over coffee and cake, celebrating their friendship in the modern kitchen. Warm moments of true female friendship
Source: Shutterstock

often a group of friends who connected with each other, some more than others. However, the more the merrier as popularity, and the ability to mimic the Spice Girls were all the rage, and of course that meant having more friends. Meanwhile, adulthood highlights the importance of having quality friends over a quantity of friends. As such, today’s BFFs are bound to be more supportive, encouraging, and reliable than those of our teen years. However, some friendships are long-lasting and many people may still have close relationships with their BFFs from the 90s.

6. They Don’t Gossip

Three joyful multicultural women friends share a cozy moment over coffee and cake, celebrating their friendship in the modern kitchen. Warm moments of true female friendship
Source: Shutterstock

In the 90s, BFFs often gossiped about their enemies, or frenemies, whereas today, BFFs are more likely to gossip about the latest releases on their favorite streaming services. 

7. Heartbreak Hits BFFs differently today

Full length portrait of teenage schoolgirl crying while sitting on stairs outdoors with smiling friend comforting her, copy space
Source: Shutterstock

Every chick flick has taught women everywhere that a spa day, treats like ice cream, and a night out with our BFFs are the answers to getting over heartbreak. Depending on the circumstances this may be entirely true. Either way, those who were children in the 90s likely didn’t have the option of taking their BFF out for a night on the town following a break-up. 

Alternatively, as wellness becomes more important, so too do practices like yoga, meditation, or pilates, which coincidentally can be done with your BFF and has been shown to help improve mood and manage stress. 

Read More: 7 Things That Can End Relationships and Unknowingly Lead to Divorce

8. Communication Among BFFs has Changed

Woman using instant messaging app on mobile phone
Source: Shutterstock

We used to go to our friends’ houses or call their house phones, often talking to their parents until they were ready to take the call. Today, most BFFs communicate on their mobile devices, using a series of emojis rather than words. 

9. BFFs are Late for Different Reasons

Im saving the date for our next catch-up. Cropped shot of girlfriends sharing something on a cellphone while sitting in a cafe.
Source: Shutterstock

BFFs in the 90s often had curfews to follow or they would face being grounded. However, today, friends are known to have an impromptu girl’s night out or coffee date, which can result in them being missed at home and working extra hours.

10. Less Confrontation

Two female African american best friends talking about a serious topic while sitting on the sofa in the living room
Source: Shutterstock

In the 90s, BFF relationships came with a range of hormone fluctuations, crushes, and several other components that made friendships more complex than they are today. For instance, today good mental health and open communication are widely practiced, meaning more adult conversations operate more smoothly.

11. BFFs Honor Each Other

Multiethnic group of three happy young women having fun on summer vacation - Diverse female friends laughing together during their holidays - United people concept - Focus on african woman face
Source: Shutterstock

In addition to better understanding mental health, BFFs today, know the importance of gratitude. As such, they remind each other how much they mean to each other. They highlight the things they love in their BFFs and praise them every chance they get. Some BFF relationships are so sacred and impactful that matching tattoos and relationship statuses are the only appropriate way to show the world how much you love your BFF.

12. You Weren’t Available 24/7

Source: Shutterstock

Since the 1990s, friendships have transformed significantly, with the expectation that people be available 24/7. This constant connectivity through smartphones and social media has blurred boundaries, making it harder to carve out personal time. Friends often feel pressure to respond immediately, leading to a more casual yet demanding dynamic. While this accessibility fosters deeper connections, it can also create anxiety and a sense of obligation, shifting the nature of how friendships are experienced.

13. Relationships Were Less Transient

two female friends embracing in front of pink background
Source: Shutterstock

Since the 90s, friendships have become more fluid and transient, with people forming connections more easily but often lacking depth. The rise of social media enables a larger circle of acquaintances, yet many struggle to maintain high-quality, close relationships. This shift can lead to feelings of loneliness despite having numerous friends. As priorities and lifestyles change rapidly, deeper bonds may be sacrificed for quantity, resulting in a more superficial friendship-feel.


H/t Bustle

Read More: 5 Reasons Why I’m Not Afraid of Being Single, I’m Just Afraid of Being in a Bad Relationship