20. “I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this.”
This phrase is a classic way of minimizing your feelings and avoiding a real conversation. It tells you your pain is inconvenient, exaggerated, or not worth discussing. Toxic moms use this to shut things down fast—no reflection, no repair. It also signals that emotional honesty will be met with mockery or silence. You end up suppressing things that actually matter just to keep the peace. But your feelings are valid, even when someone else can’t—or won’t—acknowledge them.