A 61-year-old lady, Jane, on a Facebook glass collector group was left deeply embarrassed when she posted the picture of an unidentified object and people told her what it actually was. [1] If I were in her shoes, I would have been mortified myself. Jane is a staunch churchgoer and of course, isn’t into the “mundane” things of life. How could she have known?
The item had washed up in a friend’s garden after a storm and they collected it, thinking it was some sort of vintage bottle stopper.
Oh no, Jane. It was a pleasure device – in other words, a sex toy.
Jane, a sweet lady from Indiana had written on the group: “Got a friend of my sister that came across a solid glass piece. Since she can’t figure it out she reached out to me and now I’m reaching out to all of you! Hoping to get an idea of what it is. Only thing coming to mind is either a bottle stopper for a decanter or possibly a chess piece. 4.5 inches tall, 1.5 diameter at fat part and 1.75 at base. No significant scratches anywhere does look to have reflective gold coating on it.”
Her innocent use of the phrase “fat part” really got a lot of people creaked up. If only she had known what she was actually describing.
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Since the “dawn of time”
While the origins are highly ubiquitous, sex toys have been around for as long as anyone can remember, although the first electromechanical toy was created in 1869. Archaeologists have even found sex toys dating back 28,000 years made from stone and dried camel dung. [2] Wow.
Some people in the group were very quick to identify the object and they hounded Jane with cryptic answers. One person wrote: “It’s a stopper… just not for a bottle.”
Later on, when she finally discovered what the item was, Jane was so mortified that she had to update her post: “I am thankful I know nothing of this ‘world’ that uses products such as this and quite frankly, I don’t want to know. Well, my sister and I are both cracking up! But the fact she picked it up and handled it… I don’t think there’s enough soap to wash away that image.”
Some persons even questioned the authenticity of Jane’s lack of knowledge, claiming that she’d been chasing clout when she posted the picture. However, Jane insisted they had no idea what the picture was, since she, her sister, and her sister’s friend had been sheltered from “such things” all their lives.
“My sister is very religious and so is her friend and quite frankly none of us knew what it was. Her friend is now horrified! Now that we all know what it is, we have thoroughly washed our hands (even though two of us never touched it) and are having a good laugh at the education we just got.”
A few hilarious reactions to Jane’s discovery
One person wrote: “So are we calling this a** glass?”
A second advised: “It’s a stopper alright, but think orifice, not bottle.” Someone else went with the idea that it was part of a chess set in a bid to poke fun at Jane: “Looks like she found a knight. Maybe the others will turn up soon. It’s a shame when a set gets split apart.”
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Sources
- “Indiana Woman Asks Experts For Help Identifying ‘Vintage Bottle Stopper’, Turns Out To Be A Butt Plug.” Unilad. Julia Banim. Retrieved October 27, 2020.
- The 30,000 Year History Of The Dildo.” All That’s Interesting. Gisely Ruiz. Retrieved October 27, 2020.