men with hands clasped over face, experiencing grief

‘My Wife Of 52 Years Just Died. My Grief Is So Overwhelming, I Can Barely Cope’

When tragedy strikes, grief is often not far behind. One man found out that his wife was misdiagnosed, only it was too late to save her life. She ended up having cancer that had spread throughout multiple organs because it was left untreated. She died after 52 years of marriage, and her husband was is grief stricken.

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A misdiagnosis

Diane had been struggling with stomach issues for some time. She and her husband had gone or tests, but the doctors were sure it wasn’t cancer. “Diane had suffered from gastrointestinal problems for some time and had visited the emergency room 27 times in the past year for nausea, vomiting and diarrhea. Over a period of nine months, her gastroenterologist performed two colonoscopies and one endoscopy. He eventually made a diagnosis of arteriovenous malformations. “Don’t worry, he said, there’s no sign of cancer. Most people with this disease can lead normal lives. In Diane’s case, he was wrong – absolutely wrong.” Diane’s husband, Ronald Paxton, described in an article he wrote on HuffPost.

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In the end, it turned out that Diane, in fact, did have cancer. By the time it was discovered, it had spread to other organs in her body. The inoperable colon cancer was ultimately her demise. However, her husband had to watch her health deteriorate. “Supporting a loved one who is living with terminal cancer is the second hardest thing I’ve done in my 73 years on earth,” he wrote. “The hardest thing for me was when Diane stopped living with it and started dying from it. The visual evidence of her decline and the relentless approach of her death was terrifying.

Read: The “Last hour” with my wife… An amazing appreciation letter from a husband that will make you cry…

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After death, comes grief

Diane’s husband described how he was shocked when Diane decided she wanted to stop the chemo treatments. They had taken a toll on her body to the point that she looked weak and that “terrified” him. However, her reason was to enjoy the last bit of her life, rather than suffer through the medication.

“I look back at the magic of those ordinary days that make up a lifetime,” wrote her husband. “I helped Diane bathe, dress and use the toilet. We went out every morning for breakfast at a restaurant where people loved her. Shopping, errands, trips to the park filled our days. I tried to stay strong for her, but I could feel the time slipping away.”

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crying man filled with grief
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On 12th September, Diane passed away. Her husband and children managed to spend the last moments with her, and holding her hand. Her husband is grief-stricken, and unsure what to do. He described what he learned from the entire experience. “What have I learned from this experience? I can tell you coping with Diane’s death is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I wear the sadness like a heavy blanket. My mind is fuzzy; I drift through the days searching for something, for someone who isn’t there. It’s surreal. Maybe time will help. Maybe it won’t.

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Dealing with Grief

If you or someone you love are dealing with the grief of losing a loved one, you can make use of the information available online. There are many sites that talk about dealing with grief, but the one common denominator is finding a great support system. Whether this is with family members, or with a support group of strangers, it is essential you have people you feel comfortable talking to.

Mayo clinic have some great coping mechanisms that you can make use of. Some of their tips include planning distractions for when you are alone. This could be a mind-consuming activity, or a walk with a friend in nature. They also warn you to be prepared for grief flashbacks. There will often come reminders of your lost loved one that can set you back into your grief at any point.

Furthermore, the site says to find a new activity, and make that a tradition. This will allow space to create new memories that aren’t tainted by your lost loved one. This could be planting trees on their birthdays, or donating money.

Keep Reading: Healthy 9-year-old Went To Sleep But Never Woke Up – Now His Family Is Asking For Prayers

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Sources

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  1. Grief: Coping with reminders after a loss.Mayo Clinic.
  2. My Wife Of 52 Years Just Died. My Grief Is So Overwhelming, I Can Barely Cope.Huffpost. Ronald Paxton. September 25, 2022.
  3. My 52 year old wife has just died. My grief is so overwhelming that I can barely cope.” Good Word News. Sara Adm. September 25, 2022
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