Soon-to-be-parents always hope for the best for their unborn child. Generally, they expect that their precious bundle of joy will be born with a full set of arms and legs. Finding out that this will not be the case is devastating news. This is even more challenging if you are a teen mom in an abusive relationship. Unfortunately, this was exactly the situation that Katie Whiddon found herself in. This is her story.
A Teenage Pregnancy
Katie explains the day that she confirmed that she was pregnant was one that she will never forget. Naturally, she was scared, being only 18 years old. Still, she was also really excited. Ever since she was a little girl she dreamed of being a mother. Unfortunately, she was also equally filled with fear. She was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship and wasn’t at all financially stable. Still, she thought maybe this baby could bring them together. (1)
“I knew what kind of relationship I was in,” she wrote. “Abusive and unfaithful. ‘Maybe this will make him truly love me and want only me. And he can’t hit me or push me while I’m pregnant,’”.
At first, the dream seemed to become a reality. Her boyfriend embraced her and promised her security. Then the roller coaster started. He broke up with her at the start of her second trimester, which started a cascade of breakups and reconciliations. At that point, Katie had a feeling that single motherhood might be in her future. She got her GED so she could go to college to create a better life for her child. She received her diploma a week before her anatomy scan and felt like everything was coming together.
The Terrible News
On the day of her anatomy scan, Katie was bursting with excitement. She couldn’t wait to find out the sex of her baby and already had two names prepared depending on whether they were a boy or a girl. She and her boyfriend picked up Katie’s younger sister to accompany them to the hospital for the big reveal. They arrived at the appointment, everything business as usual at first.
“I leaned back on the table and lifted my shirt for the tech. She put the wand on my belly and there was my baby’s head! Beautiful and round with a cute little button nose. She moved down the baby’s body and grew quiet. Moving the wand over and over. Jiggling the baby. Asking it to move.”
The nurse told Katie she’d be right back, which caused Katie to begin panicking even more than she already was. A doctor then entered the room and informed Katie that things were not only not looking good, they were also looking quite bad. He kindly requested Katie’s sister leave the room. That’s when he informed Katie and her boyfriend that they couldn’t see and arms or legs on their baby.
“My doctor told us they would schedule an appointment with a specialist to confirm what they saw, or … didn’t see, on the ultrasound. We were then escorted out of the back so no one had to see our pain.”
The specialist appointment came and sure enough, they confirmed that the baby had no arms or legs. Not only that but there was no way to tell if the brain was functioning properly and that shortly after giving birth the baby’s organs could fail.
Abortion Talk
Between the two appointments, her boyfriend begged Katie to have an abortion if the specialist confirmed that the baby was limbless. As a family that’s what they decided upon. Katie, however, felt absolutely terrible about it. She was completely devastated at the thought of never meeting her child.
They also decided that only their parents would learn the sex of the child and not Katie and her boyfriend, to protect them from getting too attached. After the specialist confirmed that the child had no arms or legs, Katie’s boyfriend stepped out to chat with his mother. When Katie saw his face, she instantly knew that the baby was a boy.
“I knew the baby was a boy just by the look on his face. ‘It’s a boy isn’t it?’”
He confirmed, and immediately all Katie could think about was her baby boy, Camden. Unfortunately, none of that mattered. Katie’s boyfriend and his family told her to schedule the abortion immediately. She obliged but was devastated. Her boyfriend gave her no emotional support and didn’t try to understand what she was going through in the slightest.
Read: If Your Husband Can’t Accept Your Body, Throw The Whole Husband Out
The Beach Trip That Changed Everything
Katie then began trying to distance herself from her baby to make letting go easier. Her dad invited her to a beach trip to maybe help her relax. Her boyfriend told her not to go, fearing her dad would try to change her mind about the abortion. He told her that if she went, he would break up with her. He told her that if she went through with the pregnancy she would be a single mom with a deformed baby that no one else would ever want or love.
She decided to go anyway. Katie needed to relax and be away from the toxicity of her boyfriend and his family. She went to the pool with her brother where they met another couple with a baby due around the same time as Katie’s.
“I decided to share about my son and that I scheduled an abortion. I don’t remember all that she said, but she told me she didn’t think I would have an abortion, just because of how I talk about my son. She could tell that I loved him very much. Her words got me thinking.”
Upon returning from the beach trip, she spoke with many of her family members, telling them how she was feeling and the pain she was in thinking of an abortion. At that moment, she decided to keep the baby. Even if he didn’t survive much past his first few days like the doctors said was possible, at least then she would get to meet him and hold him.
A Happy Ending
Her ex continuously called her begging her to book another abortion appointment. He tried manipulating her in every way he could, but she wouldn’t budge. Finally, she moved to be closer to her mom when the baby arrived and further away from him.
On October 2, 2013, baby Camden was born. Though he didn’t have any limbs, he was perfectly healthy. Since that day, she has watched him learn to do things she never thought possible, like color, brush his teeth, or climb stairs all on his own. She also met a wonderful man who lovingly and willingly took on the role of father to Camden. Now, Camden is a big brother to four younger siblings. Katie is so grateful that she never went through with that abortion.
“Camden has changed my life in the best ways possible,” said Katie. “He has shown me my strength through his. He has shown me that love can get you through any obstacle. He taught me that I have a voice, that it is LOUD and HEARD and I can use it to help others. He taught me to never give up, even if I feel like I can’t push on any more.”
Follow along with more of Katie and her family’s adventures on her blog.
Keep Reading: Lucky 15: Parents Finally Welcome Baby Girl After Having Fourteen Boys In A Row
Sources
- “‘Who wants a single mom with a deformed monster? NO ONE.’ Pregnant at 18, my abortion was the next day. A flip switched.’: Mom raises miracle son with missing limbs despite abusive partner’s pressure to terminate pregnancy” Love What Matters. Katie Whiddon. No Date.